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Dead Men Tell No Spoilers

| Victoria, BC, Canada | Cousins, Popular

(The second ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ movie has just come out, and I have gone to see it with my cousin. I am 15; she is 13. The movie has been out less than a week, everyone’s excited to see it, and there is a near-permanent lineup wrapped around the side of the building. This is my second time, but her first, so when the movie ends with the dramatic reveal of a character coming back from the dead, she’s understandably excited. She’s babbling on about the movie and how awesome it was, and as we are leaving she calls up her mom to tell her to pick us up. However, excited as she is, as soon as my aunt answers she SCREAMS into the phone, in front of the entire line of people waiting to see that movie for the first time:)

Cousin: “BARBOSSA’S ALIVE! BARBOSSA’S ALIVE!”

(Cue me flailing around like a madman trying to make her realize she needed to STOP F****** TALKING!)

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Don’t Take His Spot

| Williamsburg, VA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Popular

(My mom hasn’t gone to see a movie in the movie theater in almost 10 years, but decides she wants to see the new Star Wars on the big screen. As we go in to find seats we have this conversation.)

Me: *looking around for a good seat*

Mom: “There’s three seats open right here.” *points to the very front row*

Me: “No, those are terrible seats. We want those ones over that way.” *starts walking over to the other side and up the stairs*

Mom: “I don’t see what’s wrong with those seats…”

Me: “Hmm… this row. You go first, Mom. That way you are closest to the exact middle.”

Mom: *staring at me oddly* “All right…”

(We take our seats and as we get situated I check the height and move my head up and down.)

Me: “We’re pretty much perfect… Probably would be better a row up though. You are almost dead center of the screen and at just the right height that you don’t have to crane your head up or look down at the screen—”

Mom: “You better not start making ‘heee!’ sounds!”

Me: *bewildered* “What…?”

Mom: “You sound like Sheldon Cooper trying to find the perfect seat in the movies!”

(We both burst out laughing at how absurd that would be. She thoroughly enjoyed the movie!)

Giving The Rest Of You A Whale Of A Time

| CA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

(I go to see ‘Castaway’ with a friend. This happened during the night scene on the raft where a whale shows up. A couple rows back, I hear a mother quietly exclaim:)

Mom: “Oh, no! It’s a shark!”

Daughter: *probably 10-ish, whispers* “No, mom, that’s a whale.”

Mom: “No, honey, I’m pretty sure it’s a shark.”

Daughter: “Mom, it’s a whale. The tail is sideways.”

Mom: “Are you sure it isn’t a shark?”

Daughter: “Yes, Mom. It’s a whale.”

(My friend and I were silently giggling the whole time and still laugh about it 15 years later.)

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