Don’t Take His Spot

| Williamsburg, VA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Popular

(My mom hasn’t gone to see a movie in the movie theater in almost 10 years, but decides she wants to see the new Star Wars on the big screen. As we go in to find seats we have this conversation.)

Me: *looking around for a good seat*

Mom: “There’s three seats open right here.” *points to the very front row*

Me: “No, those are terrible seats. We want those ones over that way.” *starts walking over to the other side and up the stairs*

Mom: “I don’t see what’s wrong with those seats…”

Me: “Hmm… this row. You go first, Mom. That way you are closest to the exact middle.”

Mom: *staring at me oddly* “All right…”

(We take our seats and as we get situated I check the height and move my head up and down.)

Me: “We’re pretty much perfect… Probably would be better a row up though. You are almost dead center of the screen and at just the right height that you don’t have to crane your head up or look down at the screen—”

Mom: “You better not start making ‘heee!’ sounds!”

Me: *bewildered* “What…?”

Mom: “You sound like Sheldon Cooper trying to find the perfect seat in the movies!”

(We both burst out laughing at how absurd that would be. She thoroughly enjoyed the movie!)

Giving The Rest Of You A Whale Of A Time

| CA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

(I go to see ‘Castaway’ with a friend. This happened during the night scene on the raft where a whale shows up. A couple rows back, I hear a mother quietly exclaim:)

Mom: “Oh, no! It’s a shark!”

Daughter: *probably 10-ish, whispers* “No, mom, that’s a whale.”

Mom: “No, honey, I’m pretty sure it’s a shark.”

Daughter: “Mom, it’s a whale. The tail is sideways.”

Mom: “Are you sure it isn’t a shark?”

Daughter: “Yes, Mom. It’s a whale.”

(My friend and I were silently giggling the whole time and still laugh about it 15 years later.)

Optimus Prime And Time Again

| ID, USA | Parents & Guardians

(I am a huge Transformers fan and am familiar with most of the different Transformers cartoons that have come out over the years. It’s a running joke among Transformers fans that Optimus Prime, the main character, has to die at least once in every version of the show. I’m at the theater watching “Revenge of the Fallen” with my mom and brother, and we’ve just reached the point where Megatron kills Optimus Prime.)

Mom: *gasps* “Oh, no!”

Me: *groans* “Oh, no, not again!”

Mom: *weird look*

Spidey-Senses Are A Little Off

| NC, USA | Aunts & Uncles

(When the second Harry Potter movie comes out, I am nine years old and well-known for being terrified of spiders. My aunt sits next to me when we all go to see it, and unbeknownst to me she has a plan for when the giant spiders come on-screen.)

Aunt: *pulling me onto her lap and covering my face with her jacket* “Oh, my god, don’t look!”

(As I tried to free myself, she kept gasping and squeezing me tighter whenever something startling happened in the movie. Afterward, I had to explain to her that her reaction, combined with knowing the spiders were there but not being able to see them, had been a lot more scary than the actual scene could ever be.)

Rhinosaurus

| ME, USA | Parents & Guardians

(I am watching ‘Jurassic World,’ and I overhear this conversation between a mom and her kids.)

Mom: “Look kids, it’s a rhino dinosaur!” *pointing out the triceratops*

First-Framed Your Argument

| San Jose, CA, USA | Children, Parents & Guardians

(I’ve dragged my boyfriend to the movies to see the latest Disney movie. We chose an evening show to try and avoid hordes of children, but there are a few in the theater. As the credits end and the very first frame of the movie appears, a little voice from the row behind us pipes up.)

Kid: “This is my favorite movie!”

Kid’s Dad: “You’ve never seen this movie. Shut up.”

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