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Grandma Has An Infectious Personality

| St Petersburg, Russia | Grandparents

(I work at the TSA checkpoint. An old lady passes the check, and some image seems unclear to the x-ray operator.)

X-ray Operator: “Ma’am, what do these vessels contain?” *points at a pair of little bottles on the screen*

Old Lady: *a bit bashful* “Ah, it’s iodine. I’m bringing it for my grandkids.”

(After the check is finished and the lady is gone:)

Me: *contemplating* “There are grandmas who bring homemade marmalade as a gift… and then there are some who bring iodine.”

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Must Be One Odd-Looking Chicken Burger

| Brampton ON, Canada | Children, Sons & Daughters

(My three-year-old daughter has an odd vocabulary. She seems to make up her own terms for things. These are some of the things she said on a recent trip to the mall.)

Daughter: “Can I ride in the bumper?” *stroller*

Daughter: “Are we going to the clown store?” *a children’s formal wear store; I have never seen any clowns or anything clown related there*

Daughter: “We need ouchie milk.” *a brand of milk we get which has a very generic picture of a farm on it*

Daughter: “I want magic octopus.” *a chicken burger*

Daughter: “My feet are puppies.” *my feet are sore*

(I don’t know where she learns this because I always try to use perfect grammar and vocabulary around her.)

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An Away Pray

| Singapore | Parents & Guardians

(My mum tends to worry whenever I go overseas for any reason. I’m in Italy for a meeting and she texts me.)

Mum: “I’ll be praying for you without ceasing.”

Me: “Take some time to sleep and eat.”

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