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| England | Unfiltered

Note: Toodeloo is British slang for goodbye, and can sometimes end up being pronounced like ‘to the loo (toilet/bathroom)’

My brother is just about to go out, and comes to say bye.

Brother: Toodeloo!

Mum: I thought you were going to church?!

Brother: Yeah, that too!

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Insurance Companies Find New Ways To Be Thor-tless

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Popular, Siblings

(My family and I are watching Age of Ultron. When we get to the huge street fight scene, I have a thought come to me, and have to share it.)

Me: “I want to be one of those innocent bystanders having their car smashed up by Captain America. I can only imagine the conversation with my insurance company. ‘Hi, I had my windshield smashed in and was wondering if I was covered?’ ‘And what happened to smash your windshield?’ ‘Captain America’s a**.’”

Brother: “’I’m sorry, we do not cover that. If it had been Thor, we could have filed it under “Act of God” with full coverage.’”

Debased(ment) Comment

| Neepawa, MB, Canada | Parents & Guardians

(I’m in the basement and notice a leaky pipe, so I go upstairs to tell my parents about it.)

Me: “There’s a drip in the basement.”

Mom: “No, there’s not; you’re right here!”

(She and Dad both laughed; I just rolled my eyes.)