Just Go With Option Number Two

| Finland | Cousins, Sons & Daughters

(My cousin and I are babysitting her two siblings, three-year-old twins. The twins are occupied with their own games so we let a movie, which is probably not suited for children at all, run in the background while we’re talking. Suddenly in the movie, a man wearing nothing but white underwear gets… visibly aroused. Of course that’s when one of the twins look up.)

Twin #1: “Oh, no! He pooped in his pants!”

Twin #2: *looks up* “Oh, no! Diaper change!”

Both: “Poo! Poo! Poo! Diaper change! Poo!”

(Both twins continued cheering while we were absolutely mortified, and of course, rolling on the floor laughing at the same time. We made sure to change the channel back to something appropriate.)

Wants To Know Top From Bottom

| OH, USA | Grandparents

(I’m gay and my Southern Baptist grandpa has a very hard time dealing with this. My mom let it slip that I am in a relationship.)

Grandpa: *in very loud voice* “So which one of you goes on top during ‘the act’?”

(I have never been so embarrassed.)

Something Missing In Their Relationship

MI, USA | Parents & Guardians, Spouses & Partners

(I had gone out of state with my eight-month-old daughter for a week to go to a wedding. My husband couldn’t go because he had to work. We get home, unpack our things, and I’m in the kitchen making a bottle for our daughter, when I overhear him kiss her on the head and mutter:)

Husband: “I missed you so much more than I missed Mommy!”