Best To Keep The Coke In Context

| MD, USA | Siblings

(Two of our relatives have just moved to a new apartment and are holding a housewarming party. One of the presents is a kitchenware set that includes coffee mugs.)

Me: *picks a mug up and pretends to take a sip out of it*

Sister: *jokingly* “[My Name!] Keep your filthy lips off the cups!”

Me: *also jokingly* “Me? Filthy?! You’re the one with the Coke lips!”

(For context, my sister has a tube of novelty lip gloss that tastes like Coca-Cola, so when she wears it, she technically has Coke lips.)

Honey-Nut Mommy

| NY, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

(Every once and I while, I check to make sure our three-year-old knows our names, for safety reasons. Sometimes… she decides to be silly.)

Me: “[Daughter], what’s my name?”

Daughter: “Mommy.”

Me: “But what’s my name?”

Daughter: “I call you mommy.”

Me: “Okay. What does Daddy call me? ”

Daughter: “Honey.”

Me: *thinking I’ve finally got her* “What does Aunt [My Sister] call me?”

Daughter: “Nuts.”

Spiders Give You Cold Feet

| Seattle, WA, USA | Siblings

(My sister is visiting me. I enter my house through the garage, and never wear shoes indoors, so my shoes are kept on a rack by the door going into the house. On our way inside, I stop and put my shoes on the rack.)

Sister: “Aren’t you worried that when you keep your shoes out here, that spiders are going to crawl into your shoes and lie in wait for you?”

Me: “…”

Me: “Well, I am NOW.”

The Stairway To Adolescence

| Finland | Sons & Daughters, Spouses & Partners

(I have just said something that my daughter considers embarrassing.)

Daughter: “Ugh, mom! You are so embarrassing!”

Me: *to Husband* “Yep, we have reached THAT age.”

Daughter: “Well, only when you’re talking…”

Me: “[Daughter], you might want to start digging stairs.”

Reading Never Bothered Her Anyway

| PA, USA | Sons & Daughters

(My daughter loves the song “Let it Go” from Frozen. She has learned a few basic phrases in Spanish, and she wants to sing it in Spanish. The Latin American Spanish title is “Libre Soy”, which means “I’m free”.)

Daughter: *singing* “Libro soy! Libro soy!”

Me: “You just sang ‘I’m a book!'”