Category: Teenagers

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Before The Internet Came A Calling

| Pawtucket, RI, USA | Parents & Guardians, Popular, Teenagers

(My newly licensed 18-year-old son keeps mentioning the possibility of renting a car rather than taking the bus home from or back to school.)

Mama: “Do car rental places even rent to 18 year olds? When I was 20 or 21 I remember calling around to every car rental place in town just to find one that would rent to anyone under 25!”

Son: “Why were you calling?!”

(He knows I hate cold-calling, and will always choose checking a company’s website over calling them.)

Mama: “Kid, you really have no idea how much the world has changed just in your lifetime, do you? Twenty years ago, the Internet was still in it’s infancy, and no businesses were even online! Calling or walking in was the only way to get that info, and I didn’t have a car, so walking in everywhere would have taken all day!”

On The Long Drive To Mordor

| TX, USA | Parents & Guardians, Teenagers

Me: “Okay, everyone, time for a restroom break…”

Teen Daughter: “But Mom, I don’t need to.”

Me: “[Teen Daughter], this is a long trip and I don’t want to be stopping every time someone needs to go. If we all go at the same time, our bladders will be synced up.”

Teen Daughter: “Mom, I don’t feel the need!”

Me: “I don’t care. In the words of Gandalf, ‘You shall PISS!'”

Sage Teenage Advice

| TX, USA | Sons & Daughters, Teenagers

(Mother’s Day is this weekend and I am teasing my husband about what he should get me as a gift…)

Me: “Honey, Mother’s Day is this weekend.”

Husband: “Hmm…”

Me: *dramatically* “You need to do something to show your love for me!”

Husband: “Like what?!”

Me: *in a breathy voice, to teen daughter, who’s just walked in* “What should your father do to show his love for me?”

Teen Daughter: *glaring & in a deadpan voice* “Not touch you in any way, shape, or form.”

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