Category: Spouses & Partners

icon_spouses

OOOOOHDIPUS

| USA | Children, Spouses & Partners

(My husband is getting ready to leave for an outing with friends. I’ve just told our toddler that we are going to watch movies all night with daddy gone. My husband and I steal into the hallway for a quick make out session before he leaves.)

Toddler: *running into the hallway and pulling on our legs* “MAMA! MAMA! MAMA! MAMA!”

Me: “Our son is jealous that you have my attention.”

Husband: “Good. Let him be jealous.”

(Just as he goes in for another kiss:)

Toddler: *very angrily* “OOOH!”

(We both cracked up, the moment completely gone.)

icon_spouses

Charged With Energy

| St. John's, NL, Canada | Children, Spouses & Partners

(My one-and-a-half-year-old son is acting up. Since my husband and I both feel like he’s too young to punish, we try to distract him with his toys. It usually works but today things go a little differently.)

Me: “I can’t get [Son] to calm down. He just got up from a nap, he used the toilet, and he ate 10 minutes ago!”

Husband: “Give him a toy. He’s just bored.”

Me: “[Son] isn’t interested in any of his toys today. It’s like he just doesn’t care anymore.”

Husband: “I have an idea.”

(My husband gets his phone charger and hands it to our son.)

Me: “What the h*** are you doing?! That’s dangerous.”

Husband: “I’m not done yet.”

(My husband removes the cord from the plug, gets a black marker, and draws two small lines on the wall.)

Husband: “Hey, [Son], can you plug that in for me?”

(My son spent the next ten minutes trying to plug the charger into the solid wall and wore himself out to the point that he didn’t make a fuss for the rest of the day — an all-time best for him.)

icon_spouses

They’re Losing It

, | Australia | Spouses & Partners, Trigger Story

(Our house in general, has a lot of “stuff” that gets left lying around, which makes it easy to lose things. I’m generally good at knowing where this lost stuff is, but my fiancé, not so much. I receive this text:)

Fiancé: *text* “After years of dedicated detective work, a decade of heartbreak and struggle, hundreds of hours of interrogation, the open case of the missing wallet was finally closed. The culprit…? A shopping bag sitting next to the washing basket.”

(It had been five days.)

 

Dear readers:

This is a story between an engaged couple, discussing a non-relationship issue. Do you think it belongs on Not Always Romantic, or does the subject matter make it Not Always Related? Please discuss in the comments!

icon_canada

Doesn’t Know What He Is Talking Aboot

| Tokyo, Japan | Spouses & Partners

(My husband and I are walking through the train station when I see a poster advertising “Happy Canada Style” newly built houses for sale.)

Me: “What exactly does “Canada Style” mean?”

Husband: “I really don’t know…”

Me: “Is it like really big? I thought that was more ‘American style.’”

Husband: “Probably they have maple syrup running from every tap.”

Me: “…”

Husband: “And there’s a moose parked in the driveway.”

(I later told this to my brother and his first impression was “They probably have a stuffed moose head in every room.” Great minds think alike.)

icon_spouses

Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 3

| IL, USA | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Parents & Guardians, Pokemon, Spouses & Partners

(My boyfriend and I are at his parents’ house when this happens. Both of us are in our mid-20s and are avid Pokémon Go players. Also staying at his parents’ house are some friends of theirs. As we are headed out to play some PoGo, the wife of his parents’ friend stops us, demanding to know what Pokémon ‘is.’)

Wife: “OKAY! WHAT is a Pokémon?”

Boyfriend: *taking out his phone to show her* “Well, it was originally released in the late 90s as a game that you could play on a Gameboy. You remember me being around and playing that when I was a kid, right? Well, it’s now a phone app that you can play in real time and place through geocached data that is coordinated with online maps and GPS location.”

Wife: *impatiently* “Okay but what is Pokémon?! Everyone is talking about Pokémon!”

Boyfriend: *too patiently* “Well, here, let me show you.” *opens app* “Pokémon are little creatures that you capture and collect.”

Wife: *points to Squirtle* “Is that him? Is that Pokémon?”

Boyfriend: *still patiently* “He is a Pokémon. That’s Squirtle; here’s another Pokémon but it’s called Pikachu. There’s a lot of them, 151 to be exact.”

Wife: “That’s a lot! So it’s not Pokémon; it’s Pokémons.”

(By this point my boyfriend’s mom and I were laughing too hard and the woman thankfully lost her focus as she has a very short attention span.)

Related:
Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 2
Here We Pokémon Go Again

Page 1/3812345...Last