Category: Spouses & Partners

The Cat Has The Last Meow

| VA, USA | Pets & Animals, Spouses & Partners

(My husband and I have recently had to sleep in different rooms due to his back issues. One of our cats is 18 years old, very small, and prissy. She hates to be touched other than being pet. We’re staying up later than normal and watching TV in my bed. My husband gets up to go to the bathroom and the cat jumps in his spot and quickly gets comfy. When this happens he can usually make her move by bouncing the bed near her.)

Husband: *starts bouncing the bed* “Come on, get out of here. That’s my spot.”

(The cat gets an annoyed expression on her face but doesn’t move.)

Husband: *seeing as moving the bed didn’t work he takes a pillow and slowly drags it over her* “I mean, really, get up.”

Cat: *hunkers down and refuses to move*

Husband: *starts to push her to make her move* “Why is she being so stubborn?”

Me: “That’s her spot. She always sleeps right there at night. She’s trying to tell you it’s way past our bedtime!”

(We both laughed and I ended up having to pick her up to make her move. I guess she is getting cranky in her old age.)

Shedding Some Light On The Situation

| Denmark | Children, Sons & Daughters, Spouses & Partners

(My husband and I are on the bottom floor of our four-story house, after the kids are in bed, and we hear our four-year-old shouting from the third floor, where the bedrooms are. My husband heads up and comes down a few minutes later.)

Me: “Everything okay?”

Husband: “Yeah, she had to go to the bathroom but it was too dark in her room.”

Me: “She was standing in the hallway, outside her room, wasn’t she?”

Husband: “Yup.”

That’s Not Cervixable

| USA | Siblings, Spouses & Partners

(My sister and I are discussing my pregnancy and impending delivery in the next week or two.)

Sister: “So how dilated are you now?”

Me: “Well, the OB said I was 4 or 5 cm at my last visit, but that several days ago now.”

Sister: “You haven’t checked since then?”

Me: “No… not really sure I can do that on my own?”

Sister: “Can’t you just hold up a tape measure down there and see?”

Me: “Um… You know we’re talking about how dilated my cervix is, right?” *I give a concise but semi-graphic explanation of how the OB checks your cervix*

Sister: “Hmm… yeah that would be hard to do by yourself. Better get [Husband] to help you!”

(Later, when I relay the story to my husband.)

Husband: “I mean… you probably could use a tape measure. It would just be kind of uncomfortable.”

Me: “How? Even if you could get it in place, you couldn’t read it!”

Husband: “You could just use a speculum!”

Me: “Yeah, no, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work like that.”

(The sad part is they both work in healthcare…)

Snow Chance That’s True

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Spouses & Partners

(It’s winter time. During the course of conversation with my husband, he tells me he’s never played in the snow before. Growing up in Southern CA, this isn’t uncommon, but my family – from Northern CA – is shocked.)

Me: “You’ve really never played in the snow before? Ever, in your whole life?”

Husband: “Nope!”

(So I ask him if he’d like to take a trip up to the mountains for his birthday, to spend an afternoon in the snow, and he excitedly agrees. We make our plans for the trip based on whether he’s done various things, like making snowmen and/or snow angels, having snowball fights, and so on. My husband keeps insisting he’s never done any of it. On the day of the trip, my family, my husband, and I all pile into the SUV together to drive up the mountain…)

Mother: “Wow, [Husband]; I can’t believe you’ve never been to the snow!”

Husband: “Yeah, we just never really went and did stuff like that. It doesn’t snow where I grew up.”

Mother’s Boyfriend: “Man, so you’ve never even been sledding or ANYTHING?”

Husband: “Well, I’ve been sledding before.”

Everyone: “…”

Me: “Wait, if you’ve never been to the snow, how have you been sledding before?”

Husband: “We went sledding in the snow at my aunt’s house during Christmas time!”

Me: “But we’d all been asking you if you’d ever played in the snow before, and you just said you never had!”

Husband: “Well, because it was a long time ago!”

Me: “[Husband], it still counts as playing in the snow even if you hadn’t done it for years.”

Husband: “I dunno. I guess so.”

It Takes A Real Man

| USA | Cousins, Spouses & Partners

(My cousin and I are out to lunch, just chatting and catching up. Both of us are married. I have a toddler and she has a set of twins who are about a year younger than my son.)

Cousin: “I don’t know how you do it! You have a full time career, then come home and are a great mom, AND you are starting up a business! I can’t imagine how you get everything done.”

Me: “I can only do it because of [Husband]. He’s a stay at home dad and watches [Toddler] all day, supports me 100% in my career, and is helping me by doing most of the background work to get the business up and running. Most of the credit goes to him. He really does most of the hard work.”

Cousin: “Well, yeah, I mean, I guess he helps out some, but really, you’re an inspiration and I don’t know how you juggle everything that you have going on.”

Me: “Thank you, but it really is all him.”

(My cousin dropped the subject after that.)

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