Category: Spouses & Partners

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Supremely Annoying

| Powell River, BC, Canada | Spouses & Partners

(My husband and I are playing Pictionary with a group of friends. My husband looks at the word on his card, thinks a bit, then draws a picture of a cube van with the back end bashed in. After pondering a while:)

Me: “Supreme!” *not the actual word*

Husband: “You got it!”

Friend: “How on Earth did you get ‘Supreme’ out of a picture of a crumpled van?”

Me: “Before we met, [Husband] was working for a company called Supreme and he had an accident with the company vehicle. He’s mentioned it a few times.”

(Groans all around.)

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Preciously Grouchy

| Flippin, AR, USA | Spouses & Partners

(We are checking out at a grocery store, and the cashier is a sweet older lady, oohing and ahhing over how precious our fourteen-month old daughter is.)

Cashier: “Oh, my! Well aren’t you just beautiful!”

Daughter: *glares* “Go away.”

Me: “Oh, my God.”

Husband: “Yeah, that’s YOUR daughter.”

Me: “Shut up.”

Cashier: “Uhm. You folks have a nice day.”

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When ‘Our Son’ Sounds Like ‘Arson’

| MN, USA | Cousins, Spouses & Partners

(My fiancé and I are talking about starting a family and raising kids after the wedding. We agree that there are several things that people do not teach their children anymore that really needs to be taught. Then, this conversation starts.)

Fiancé: “Just to let you know, when we have kids, there are some things I’m going to teach them.”

Me: “That’s fine. Kinda figured.”

Fiancé: “Like fire safety.”

Me: “…okay.”

Fiancé: “In a very unique way.”

Me: “That could be dangerous.”

Fiancé: “…and this is how you make a home-made flamethrower!”

Me: “…”

Fiancé: “…and this is how you put out someone on fire. Any volunteers?”

Me: “You are not setting our children on fire!”

Fiancé: “…put some hand sanitizer on their arm…”

Me: “YOU ARE NOT SETTING OUR CHILDREN ON FIRE!”

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