Category: Spouses & Partners

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Mind Reading Means You’re Screwed

| USA | Popular, Sons & Daughters, Spouses & Partners

(My son, husband, and I are sitting on our couch, talking. My son has recently watched an anime about mind reading.)

Son: “Hey, dad, I can read your mind.”

Husband: “Not true. Mind reading is not real. I’ll give you 15 dollars if you can tell me what I’m thinking.”

Son: *looks like he is thinking hard* “You’re thinking about screwing mom!”

(I sit there speechless as my husband’s face looks surprised.)

Husband: “How did you… That’s what I was thinking!”

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Skating Around The Actual Disaster

| Finland | Popular, Sons & Daughters, Spouses & Partners

(My daughter’s school has called me at work to tell me that she fell and hurt her head. Her grandmother has already picked her up and taken her to the health center. My husband and I are on our way to meet them. Two things should be noted: my daughter had an ice skating lesson that day, and she’s also rather accident-prone.)

Husband: “What happened? Did [Daughter] get hurt ice skating?”

Me: “No, she had a helmet on for that. She fell down walking. Inside.”

Husband: “Figures. Classic [Daughter].”

(She was OK, and also laughs about it now.)

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Can Bloc You Out

| UT, USA | Parents & Guardians, Spouses & Partners

(I’m eating lunch with my husband and son.)

Me: “Okay, [Son], you need to finish eating, so we can all lie down and take a nap.”

(Instead of responding, my son keeps playing with his grapes.)

Me: “In one ear, and out the other.”

Husband: “No, there is no in. His ears are like the Iron Curtain.”

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