Category: Siblings

Doesn’t Have A Sunny Disposition

| USA | Siblings

(After I explain to her that we can’t just move to Mars or Tatooine when the sun explodes.)

Sister: “So, when the sun blows up, will it blow up the entire galaxy or just a couple of planets?”

Me: “The galaxy has lots of suns. Ours will just take out the solar system.”

Sister: “I’m really worried about surviving the next hundred years.”

Me: “The sun will not blow up in the next hundred years.”

Sister: “But then I’ll be 112 and I’m worried about surviving old age.”

Your Sibling Relationship Is Toast

| ON, Canada | Siblings

(My sister got me a job at a coffee shop. She’s a supervisor, but at work I rarely see her, as I work the shift before her. I’m at home sitting in my underwear playing video games when she comes into my room.)

Sister: “The toaster is broken.”

Me: “Oh, okay. I didn’t do it.”

Sister: “It happened on your shift.”

Me: “Wait… the toaster at work?”

Sister: “Yes, what happened during your shift?”

Me: “I don’t know. It was working fine? Who cares? The owner will replace it.”

Sister: “You also left a huge mess for us last night.”

Me: “I’m sitting in my underwear in my bedroom playing video games… Does it look like I’m in my uniform right now?”

Sister: “Just clean up after yourself at work.”

Me: “I’m at home! Work doesn’t exist!”

(She got another job shortly afterwards and my relationship with my sister drastically improved.)

Dressing Up The Dressing As Something Else

| SC, USA | Siblings

(My brother works as a cook.)

Brother: “I might bring home some blue cheese dressing from work tomorrow. It’d have to be a small container, though, because I’m the only one here who likes it.”

Me: “I don’t think I’ve ever had blue cheese dressing. I’d be willing to try it, though.”

Brother: “It’s a lot like ranch dressing, only without the ranch flavor, and with blue cheese instead.”

Me: “That is… less helpful than you may have thought.”

Where There’s A Will There’s A Way

| VA, USA | Siblings

(I am about 16, and my brother is about 20. I’m still living at home (you know, because I’m a teenager) and he has been allowed to move in with us, with his wife and two young children, UNTIL they get on their feet. They have been living there for about two years now. My parents are making a will even though they are both young and it is decided that there is enough to split down the middle if one child gets the house the other takes cash. I decide I wanted the house because I really like the location and memories in it. This conversation ensues with both parents there.)

Brother: “We need the house.”

Me: “You are supposed to have your own house, and besides you wouldn’t be inheriting it for a really long time. I want it because of sentimental value.”

Brother: “But we wouldn’t have anywhere to live! And besides, we should get the house and most of the money anyway.”

Me: “Why? It’s being split 50/50.”

Brother: “There’s four of us and only one of you. Of course we would get more.”

Me: “That doesn’t make any sense! First of all, it is split between all children. There’s two, so 50/50; then that 50 is split for all grandchildren and so on. Second of all, I am only 16! Who says I’m not getting married and having children?”

Brother: “There’s four of us. We get more. We need the house to survive.”

(To my shock my parents really didn’t say anything and seemed to almost buy into what he wanted. They only kept it at a 50/50 split because I fought so hard for it. They wrote the will so I would have the house and he would have the money. My brother kept asking about it for next next couple of years, trying to get them to change the will so he would have the house and the money. Finally at 18 I got married and bought a beautiful (and bigger) house with my husband. My mom asked again about the will and at that point I realized my memories there were not that good and let them change it. I still made sure it was a 50/50 split. Ten years later and my brother still lives with his mom.)

Driving To Conclusions

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

Dad: “I got a coupon for lube.”

Brother: “Uh, dad… do you really have to talk about that here?”

Dad: “[Brother], I meant lube, like, for a car.”

Brother: “Oh!”