Category: Siblings

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Ain’t That The Bleeding Truth

| UK | Siblings

(My sister and I are going down on a lift. It jolts slightly between floors and moments later my sister whispers in my ear.)

Sister: “I need a tampon!”

Me: “A tampon?”

Sister: “Did I stutter? Get me one!”

(I’m at a loss as to how I can make one magically appear, so I turn to the rest of the lift.)

Me: “ANYONE GOT A TAMPON?”

(My sister goes red in the face as two women look quizzically at me and then to my sister. One of them produces a single tampon from her handbag and hands it to her. The rest of the lift is relatively un-phased other than some smirking. My sister runs out and to the nearest toilet where I wait for her.)

Sister: *while coming out* “That was EMBARRASSING. Why would you do that?”

Me: “I’m a guy and we were in a lift. What else could I do?”

Sister: “I… I suppose you’re right. I guess I wasn’t thinking. Still embarrassing though!”

Me: *smirking* “Funny, too.”

(I still tease her about it from time to time.)

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Red To Keep You In The Black

| Cape Cod, MA, USA | Siblings

(My youngest sister is away at graduate school overseas and starts IMing me.)

Sister: “I need to back up my data and get it from my old laptop to a new computer. You’re the best at computery stuff. Can you help me?”

Me: “Sure.” *we go over various options*

Sister: “Okay, so it looks like I want the portable HDD, rather than the thumb drive.”

Me: “The best option is probably this one, then.” *link*

Sister: “Looks good! Just have it shipped to Mom and I’ll get it when I’m home at Christmas.”

Me: “They have it available in different colors, which one would you prefer?”

Sister: “Cheap.”

Me: “…”

Sister: “You expected something different from a daughter of [Dad]?”

Me: “No. They’re all the same price.”

Sister: “Oh. In that case, red.”

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This Is Your Pond Life

| Wales, UK | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

(It’s Christmas day. Due to the high volume of rain recently, my mum’s discovered that the lawn is completely waterlogged. There’s a pond in the garden and the artificial bottom has risen to the top due to a large water bubble. My mother decides that the way to fix this is for my sister and me to go stand in the pond to cause the water to go out the sides. We tell her this won’t work but she’s adamant. As we walk to the pond:)

Me: “[Sister]?”

Sister: “Yeah?”

Me: “I just wanna say: this is going to suck.”

(Amid much protesting, my sister and I go into the pond. To the surprise of nobody, the only thing that happens is that my sister and I get wet and grumpier. As we get out:)

Me: “[Sister]?”

Sister: “Yeah?”

Me: “I was right. That sucked.”

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Hopefully His Insurance Doesn’t Have Any Clauses

| TN, USA | Holidays, Siblings

(It’s Christmas morning. I take a picture of the tree with all the presents underneath and send it to my sister, who lives nearby. It’s currently raining.)

Me: “Santa came!”

(Moments later, there is a huge crash of thunder.)

Sister: “Did he just crash into a dumpster? Because that was loud!”

(There are several more crashes of thunder.)

Me: “A lot of dumpsters apparently.”

Sister: “It’s not looking good for Santa.”

Me: “At least he already got us.”

Sister: “True. Hopefully Rudolph is okay, though.”

Me: “I’m sure his nose will guide him.”

Sister: “It’s rather foggy though…”

(Merry Christmas, everyone! Safe travels!)

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I’m Guessing That’s Not A Pile Of Diesel In The Driveway

| MB, Canada | Holidays, Parents & Guardians, Siblings

(It’s Christmas Eve, and my family and I are driving around looking at people’s decorations. The conversation turns to Santa’s reindeer and their diet, and this happens:)

Brother: “[Sister #2], I heard you say reindeer eat gasoline!”

Sister #2: *laughing* “No, I said they eat GRASS and LEAVES!”

Dad: “Maybe that’s how they fly!”

Sister #1: “I want to know where their exhaust pipes are.”

Mom: “No, you don’t!”