Category: Nephews & Nieces

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Not Fishing For Compliments

| NSW, Australia | Children, Nephews & Nieces

(My three-year-old nephew LOVES watching my fish-tank. He likes the fish that hide like the catfish and my Bee wiggles (Khuli Loaches). I got a breeding pair of Convict Cichlids and I brought him in to see them. I wasn’t expecting this response.)

Nephew: “They huge!” *even more excitedly* “AND UGLY! Daddy! Come see the ugly fishes!”

(It was so cute I couldn’t be upset.)

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A Household Name

| USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces, Parents & Guardians, Popular

(My niece is five and about a month away from becoming a big sister. Due to both her parents having very common first names, they gave her an uncommon one and have picked out another uncommon name for my soon to be nephew as well. In the fall she will begin kindergarten, so her school sets up a two-week long summer program for the students to attend to get to know their classmates and teachers. This happens when her very pregnant mother goes to pick her up on the first day.)

Teacher: “[Niece] seems to be very outgoing. She just wanted to play with everyone. She went up to every student and introduced herself the moment she got here.”

Mom: “Yea, she does that everywhere.”

Teacher: “There was a slight incident, though… Were you planning on naming your new baby [Nephew]?”

Mom: *laughing* “Did she tell you that?”

Teacher: “Well, we have another student here with that name and when he told her that was his name they got into a little argument. I tried to explain to her that there are a lot of people in this world who share the same name but she refuses to call the other boy by his name stating that he’s not her brother.”

(Back at home, mom and dad are discussing what happened and they realise that Niece has never met two people with the same name before. They are trying to convince her that the boy’s name is actually Nephew’s Name.)

Niece: “No!” *points to mom’s belly* “That’s baby [Nephew]. He can’t be [Nephew] because he’s not baby [Nephew]!”

Mom: “They just have the same name. It doesn’t mean they’re the same person. When I was in kindergarten I had three other girls in my class named [Mom] like me. We never knew who the teacher was talking to.”

Dad: “You wouldn’t believe how many people I’ve met named [Dad]. In fact, you have a cousin named [Dad], just like me.”

Niece: “You’re not [Dad]. You’re [Nickname] and [Dad] is [Dad]!”

Mom: “You can’t argue with that logic. You know, she does always correct people when they call you [Dad].”

Dad: “Does that mean when someone calls me that she thinks they are talking to her cousin and not me?”

(They did finally get her to understand (although reluctantly) and a month later they welcomed in a healthy baby boy whom she can’t wait to introduce to her new, same named friend.)

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This Mom Must Have Been On Sale

| USA | Nephews & Nieces

(I am having a conversation with my seven-year-old niece:)

Niece: “Where’d you get your mom?”

Me: “I didn’t get her from anywhere. You don’t buy moms.”

Niece: “Yeah, you do.”

Me: “No, you don’t.”

Niece: “Yeah, you do.”

Me: “Oh, really? Where do you buy moms?”

Niece: “At the store.”

Me: “What store? There’s no such thing as a mom store.”

Niece: “Any store!”

Me: “They don’t sell moms at Wal-mart.”

Niece: “Uh-huh. I seen them.”

Me: “Well, moms and their kids are at Walmart together, but the kids don’t buy their moms.”

Niece: “Yeah, they do.”

Me: “No, [Niece], you can’t buy your mom.”

Niece: “Yeah, you can.”

Me: “Well, I’ve never seen moms for sale anywhere.”

Niece: “I have.”

Me: “Really? How do you get them?”

Niece: “You just go into the aisle where it says, ‘Moms,’ and then you wave and say ‘Mommy, it’s me!’” *waves arm to demonstrate*

Me: “I don’t think that’s how that works.”

Niece: “Yes, it is.”

Me: “No, it’s not.”

Mom & Family Friend: “No, it’s not.”

Me: “That’s not how it works.”

Niece: “Yes, it is.”

Me: “Well, you’ll have to show me this freaky magic then, because I’ve never seen it.”

Niece: “But then I’d have to take you to the store.”

Me: “Yeah, you would.”

Niece: “But I can’t drive.”

Me: “I could drive.”

Niece: “Yeah, but I’d have to take you to the store with me.”

Me: “So?”

Niece: “SO I’M TOO YOUNG TO DRIVE!!”

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Fishing For Compliments

| Tulalip, WA, USA | Nephews & Nieces, Popular

(My nephew’s discussing getting his fishing license:)

Nephew: “I have to be with you to get it, right? They have to take my picture?”

Mom: “Yup.”

Nephew: “I have to make myself look beautiful!”

Dad: “What?”

Nephew: “I have to make myself look manly pretty!”

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The House With The Hot Tin Roof

| PA, USA | Nephews & Nieces

(My aunt owns a bunch of cats. My nephew says this every time we go to visit her.)

Nephew: “We’re going to the cat-house!”

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