Category: Nephews & Nieces

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Time For The Imagination To Kick The Bucket

| MO, USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces

(I’m watching my sister’s children for the weekend. We are eating supper when my six-year-old niece drops her napkin on the floor, so her older brother reaches down to grab it. As soon as he places it back in front of her, she begins to “cry.”)

Me: “[Niece], what’s wrong?”

Niece: *between sobs* “[Nephew]… knocked over… my bucket.”

(I look down at the floor but nothing is there.)

Me: “What bucket?”

Niece: “That one.” *points at nothing in particular* “It had… all… my… things… in it.”

Me: “Sweetie, I don’t see any bucket.”

Niece: “BECAUSE IT’S INVISIBLE!”

(She lays her head on the table and begins to fake sob into the table. My nephew sighs and gets up from the table and pretends to pick up the bucket and places things back inside.)

Nephew: *deadpan* “I picked it all up for you. Sorry I knocked it over.”

(The “tears” suddenly stopped and she happily returned to eating her food. According to my nephew, she does things like this quite often, trying to get him into trouble.)

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Getting Ahead Of Themselves

| MO, USA | Cousins, Nephews & Nieces

(My mom bought a gingerbread house kit, including gingerbread people, and my sister and I put it together. She’s 15, I’m 30, and I have a weird sense of humor. I cut the head off of one gingerbread person and have the other holding it. Family comes over the next day for Christmas lunch.)

Niece: *sees gingerbread house and suddenly distraught* “Where’s his head!?”

Cousin: “Cool!”

Me & Sister: *snickering to ourselves at the kids’ table*

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You’re Being The Cool Aunt

| USA | Nephews & Nieces

(I am shopping along with my mother, and find a chalkboard flower pot. I had promised my nephew that I’d let him decorate a flower pot this summer, so I pick one up in his favorite color. When we shop together, my mom and I like to combine our orders. At checkout, I find the line that my mom is in and hand her my groceries. When I reach my nephew’s gift, I tell her:)

Me: “Here is [Nephew]’s pot!”

(I then realized how bad that sounded. I hope that not too many people heard that one!)

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The Diaper Decider

| USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces

(I’m babysitting my nephew while my sister-in-law finishes up school. He HATES having his diaper changed, so it’s normally a battle. I’m getting ready to change his diaper.)

Me: “Okay, dude, are we gonna fight over this?”

Nephew: *puts fist up, ready to fight*

Me: “Oh, my gosh, dude. Seriously?”

(Thankful he didn’t actually fight me.)

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Fail To Answer

| CA, USA | Aunts & Uncles, Children, Nephews & Nieces

(I am 40 years old, unmarried, no kids. I am playing with my 5-year-old nephew while my 70-year-old mother looks on.)

Nephew: “Auntie [My Name], are you married?”

Me: “No.”

Nephew: “Why not?”

Me: *sarcastically* “Because I am a failure as a woman.”

Mom: *taking me seriously* “[My Name], don’t say that!”

Nephew: “Haha, you fail!”

(Kids crack me up.)

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