Category: Nephews & Nieces


Has Twenty-Twenty Aging

| Australia | Nephews & Nieces

(I am playing with my niece, who recently turned five.)

Niece: “I’m five!”

Me: *joking* “I know, you’re so old now!”

Niece: “I’m not old!”

Me: “Oh… how old do you think old is?”

Niece: *thinks* “Twenty.”

Me: “How old do you think I am?”

Niece: “Twenty.”

(Thanks, kid. I’m actually 25, but that still makes me old!)


O Holy Special Features And Director’s Commentary

| ON, Canada | Nephews & Nieces

(My family, including me, are Christians. My niece has just found two DVDs, Sesame Street and Barney.)

Niece: “Everyday GOD gives me new DVDs every day.”


Post In Translation

| USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces

Nephew: “Aunt [My Name], [Niece] and I made our own language!”

Me: “Really?”

Nephew: “Yeah. It’s English but everything starts with P! Try it!”

Niece: “Yeah!” *giggles* “Say I see you!”

Me: “…”


Sorry, That Isn’t Served After 11 AM

| CA, USA | Nephews & Nieces

(My niece is two years old and has gone with her parents to the drive-thru of a restaurant to get a strawberry lemonade to drink.)

Drive-Thru: “How can I help you?”

Niece: *screaming* “A COCKAROACH IN A POOP TACO!”

(My niece is a little weirdo and I hope someone got a laugh out of her for that.)


I Consent To Your Explanation

| Antwerp, Belgium | Aunts & Uncles, Nephews & Nieces

(I’m visiting the museum with my five- and six-year-old nieces. There is a special exhibition with prints from Rubens with one not so chaste one from the chaste Susanna.)

Niece: “Auntie, what is happening here?”

(The warden just got up to make her round but upon hearing the question and noticing where I stood, returned to her stool and clearly sat down to enjoy the scene.)

Me: *sweating and aware I needed words that were not in nor belonged to their vocabulary* “Well, honey, the bad men want to touch her but you should never let anyone touch you if you don’t feel comfortable.”

(Luckily they accepted it. The warden was smiling approvingly, too.)

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