Category: Cousins

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At Least There’s No Argument That Batman Is Real

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Children, Cousins, Popular

(As I am babysitting my younger cousins, a six-year-old boy and a ten-year-old girl, I get the great idea to ask what they wanted to be for Halloween.)

Boy: “I want to be a superhero like Batman! And my best friend is gonna be Superman.”

Me: “That’s awesome! What about you?”

Girl: “I want to be a narwhal!”

Me: “A what?!”

Girl: “A narwhal. I was gonna be a mermaid or a unicorn, but they’re not real. So I’m gonna be a narwhal. A unicorn of the sea!”

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When ‘Our Son’ Sounds Like ‘Arson’

| MN, USA | Cousins, Spouses & Partners

(My fiancé and I are talking about starting a family and raising kids after the wedding. We agree that there are several things that people do not teach their children anymore that really needs to be taught. Then, this conversation starts.)

Fiancé: “Just to let you know, when we have kids, there are some things I’m going to teach them.”

Me: “That’s fine. Kinda figured.”

Fiancé: “Like fire safety.”

Me: “…okay.”

Fiancé: “In a very unique way.”

Me: “That could be dangerous.”

Fiancé: “…and this is how you make a home-made flamethrower!”

Me: “…”

Fiancé: “…and this is how you put out someone on fire. Any volunteers?”

Me: “You are not setting our children on fire!”

Fiancé: “…put some hand sanitizer on their arm…”

Me: “YOU ARE NOT SETTING OUR CHILDREN ON FIRE!”

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An A-Dora-ble Translation

| Mexico | Cousins

(My younger cousin is taking English in school. While I am fluent in English, she is not and I am tutoring her.)

Me: *in Spanish* “Translate this into English. The Mexican girl went exploring and found big blue dinosaurs.”

Cousin: *in English* “Dora the Explorer went out with her big football head and found Barney and h*** broke loose.”

Me: “Barney is purple…”

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