Category: Cousins

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It’s Like They’re Breeding

| MA, USA | Cousins, Pets & Animals

(I’ve recently moved and my cousin has come to visit. We decided to bring our dogs to a rather unpopular dog park because it’s usually empty and my dog is skittish around people. Our dogs take off and start playing and a small group of people show up. They let their dogs in and to be safe I call my dog.)

Me: “Tribble, here.”

(My dog instantly runs to me as well as another dog that came with the group. I reach down to pet the other dog and see that on his tag his name is ‘Tribble’ as well.)

Cousin: “Well, I guess you’re not the only nerd on earth. Want me to get his number for you?”

Me: “Nah, it would get way too confusing with our dogs sharing a name.”

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Freudian Slip On The Beer

| NH, USA | Cousins

(My cousin and I are having a girls’ day, and talking about the gift she wants to get for her fiancé for his birthday when they go on vacation. Her family is all about sports and beer while I hate sports and would drink wine over beer any day.)

Cousin: “He likes wine so I think maybe I’ll get him a bottle of wine as a birthday present while we’re away. What kind do you think he’ll like?”

Me: “That’s nice. Does he like red or white?”

Cousin: “I don’t know. Maybe I should get him beer instead.”

Me: “Well, wine would be more romantic. But if he’s going to bro out in front of the TV and watch sports maybe you should get him beer.”

Cousin: “Really, you’ve met the guy; I’m more likely to bro out with a beer than he is.”

Me: “You know how they say you marry someone who reminds you of your dad? Yeah, you’re not doing that. You’re marrying someone like me.”

Cousin: “Maybe that’s why the two of you don’t get along. You hate him because you think I’m replacing you.”

Me: “Freud would have a field day with us.”

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Amazonian Pillow Talk

| CT, USA | Aunts & Uncles, Cousins

(My cousin is looking at her Amazon wish list on her phone, as it’s getting near the holidays.)

Cousin: “Everything that’s in my Amazon cart is literally everything I need to live a happy life.”

Aunt: “Oh, really? What sorts of things do you need for a perfect life?”

Cousin: “Mostly pillows.”

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