Category: Children

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Must Be One Odd-Looking Chicken Burger

| Brampton ON, Canada | Children, Sons & Daughters

(My three-year-old daughter has an odd vocabulary. She seems to make up her own terms for things. These are some of the things she said on a recent trip to the mall.)

Daughter: “Can I ride in the bumper?” *stroller*

Daughter: “Are we going to the clown store?” *a children’s formal wear store; I have never seen any clowns or anything clown related there*

Daughter: “We need ouchie milk.” *a brand of milk we get which has a very generic picture of a farm on it*

Daughter: “I want magic octopus.” *a chicken burger*

Daughter: “My feet are puppies.” *my feet are sore*

(I don’t know where she learns this because I always try to use perfect grammar and vocabulary around her.)

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Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

| USA | Children, Cousins, Popular

(I am in the car with my little cousin, who is tired because we have been driving for so long.)

Cousin: “When will we ever get there?”

His Dad: “Soon.”

Cousin: “You said that an hour ago!”

His Dad: “Sorry, son, we’re almost there.”

Cousin: “Sorry is just a word! It doesn’t mean anything! Society created it as an excuse so humans could appease each other! It’s useless!”

(He’s five.)

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Raising A Cheeky Monkey

| VIC, Australia | Children

(I’m about two-and-a-half years old and sitting with my mum in the children’s hot-tub. While she’s sitting with me, she’s getting me to practice my talking by getting me to comment on things around me. A man in a speedo who is covered in hair walks past:)

Me: *loudly* “Is that man a monkey?!”

Man: *gives me a weird look and pulls a monkey face*

(I’m far more reserved now. I would never say that now, but there are times when I wish I were a toddler again so that I could comment on anything and everything without consequence.)

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