Category: Children

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Grammatically Incorrect

| Petaluma, CA, USA | Children, Cousins

(I am playing a game of catch with my five-year-old cousin. She gets frustrated with me because she keeps dropping the ball.:)

Cousin: *yelling and pretty mad* YOU’RE AN APOSTROPHE!”

Me: *now confused* “An apostrophe?”

Cousin: *falling to the ground laughing* “YEAH! YOU’RE AN APOSTROPHE!”

(She manages calm down for the time being. Later…)

Cousin: “What’s an apostrophe?”

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A Household Name

| USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces, Parents & Guardians

(My niece is five and about a month away from becoming a big sister. Due to both her parents having very common first names, they gave her an uncommon one and have picked out another uncommon name for my soon to be nephew as well. In the fall she will begin kindergarten, so her school sets up a two-week long summer program for the students to attend to get to know their classmates and teachers. This happens when her very pregnant mother goes to pick her up on the first day.)

Teacher: “[Niece] seems to be very outgoing. She just wanted to play with everyone. She went up to every student and introduced herself the moment she got here.”

Mom: “Yea, she does that everywhere.”

Teacher: “There was a slight incident, though… Were you planning on naming your new baby [Nephew]?”

Mom: *laughing* “Did she tell you that?”

Teacher: “Well, we have another student here with that name and when he told her that was his name they got into a little argument. I tried to explain to her that there are a lot of people in this world who share the same name but she refuses to call the other boy by his name stating that he’s not her brother.”

(Back at home, mom and dad are discussing what happened and they realise that Niece has never met two people with the same name before. They are trying to convince her that the boy’s name is actually Nephew’s Name.)

Niece: “No!” *points to mom’s belly* “That’s baby [Nephew]. He can’t be [Nephew] because he’s not baby [Nephew]!”

Mom: “They just have the same name. It doesn’t mean they’re the same person. When I was in kindergarten I had three other girls in my class named [Mom] like me. We never knew who the teacher was talking to.”

Dad: “You wouldn’t believe how many people I’ve met named [Dad]. In fact, you have a cousin named [Dad], just like me.”

Niece: “You’re not [Dad]. You’re [Nickname] and [Dad] is [Dad]!”

Mom: “You can’t argue with that logic. You know, she does always correct people when they call you [Dad].”

Dad: “Does that mean when someone calls me that she thinks they are talking to her cousin and not me?”

(They did finally get her to understand (although reluctantly) and a month later they welcomed in a healthy baby boy whom she can’t wait to introduce to her new, same named friend.)

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Identity Theft

| USA | Children, Siblings

(This happens with my younger brother, who is six.)

Me: “Did you know that you have two names?”

Brother: “No…”

Me: “Yeah, your first name is [First Name], and your middle name is Robert!”

Brother: *eyes get big* “I don’t believe you!”

(After Mom confirms it, he gets upset.)

Me: “Don’t you like the name Robert?”

Brother: “No! I’m NOT a robber!”

(To this day, 29 years later, I still tease him about it even though he now likes his name better.)

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