Category: Children


Weighty Dinner-table Discussions

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Children, Siblings

(One of my three sons asks the family a question at the supper table:)

Son: “If you could get rid of any of the laws in our country, which one would it be?”

(We pause for thought, all except his little brother.)

Little Brother: *excitedly* “The law of gravity!”


But Violence Is Okay

| MO, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

(I am making coffee while my sons, two and four years old, are eating breakfast. My two-year-old starts waving his spoon around.)

Two-Year-Old: “I am God!”

Me: “What did you say?”

Two-Year-Old: “I am God!”

Me: *launches into lengthy explanation as to why we do not pretend to be God*

Four-Year-Old: “No, we’re just sword fighting!”

Me: “Well, you still don’t pretend to be God.”

Four-Year-Old: “We aren’t pretending to be God. He said ‘en garde’!”

Me: “Oh. That’s all right, then.”


Please Joint Us At The Table

| FL, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

(I’m teaching my four-year-old son about table manners. At supper one night, our family of four are each sitting on a different side of the rectangular table. I explain that his father is sitting at the head of the table and I’m at the foot of the table.)

Son: “Does that mean [Two-Year-Old Brother] is the knee of the table? And I’m the elbow!”

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