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    | TN, USA | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

    (My dad talks in his sleep. One day, he falls asleep on the couch.)

    Dad: “The spiders are funny.”

    Me: “Like, ‘ha-ha’ funny, or ‘weird’ funny?”

    Dad: “THE CYBERMEN ATE ALL MY DEAD PEOPLE!”

    Me: “Poor dead people.”

    Dad: “What about my senior trip? Man the compass!”

    Me: “Land off the starboard bow!”

    Dad: “Good girl.” *snore*

    Step-mom: “And if there was ever any doubt about you two being related, that right there would shut them up.”