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  • June's Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

    Lunching The Hobbit Way

    | London, England, UK | Parents & Guardians

    (My parents have left me home alone, as my grandmother is going into a care home. My mum is sorting her flat out to sell it and I have to revise for A Levels. I am notorious for forgetting to eat once I’ve started working, so my mum often calls to make sure I remember. This conversation happens over text:)

    Me: “Hey, guess what? I ate lunch!”

    Mum: “Yay!”

    (A couple of hours later, I get hungry again, and since my ‘first lunch’ was quite small, I make more food.)

    Me: “Hey, guess what? I ate lunch again!”

    Mum: “Yaaaay!”

    (It’s nearly six pm and I get hungry again.)

    Me: “Hey, guess what? I ate lunch again!”

    Mum: “Okay, too much lunch now.”

    Me: “You’re supposed to say ‘Yaaaay!'”

    Nirvana Has Been Axe’d

    | TX, USA | Cousins

    (I’m at the mall with two cousins, who are brother and sister.)

    Cousin #1: *sniffs the air* “Smells like… teen spirit.”

    (It is obvious that he is making a reference to the Nirvana song. His sister, however, doesn’t realize.)

    Cousin #2: “What?”

    Cousin #1: “You know! Nirvana! *points to me, as I’m wearing a Nirvana shirt*

    Cousin #2: “Oh! I thought you were talking about the deodorant!”

    Tattoo Fail


    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 6

    | OK, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (My dad and I are eating a homemade breakfast.)

    Me: *eats last bite* “Mmm… yum.”

    Dad: “Bacon: The Best Job A Pig Can Have.”

    Me: “Mm hmm”

    Dad: “Sorry, pigs.”

    (Brief pause.)

    Dad: “That’ll do, pig.”

    Me: “Oh, my God, Dad!”

    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 5
    Related – From NotAlwaysRomantic
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 4

    Don’ Mess With This Family

    | Pendleton, SC, USA | Siblings

    (My brother and I are discussing a friend who owes me several hundred dollars. Our father is of Italian descent and grew up in New Jersey, so we sometimes joke about having Mob connections.)

    Brother: “Well, if you need any kneecaps busted, let me know.”

    Me: “I would love to see you try that. He’s twice your size!”

    Brother: “I’d get [Foster Brother] to do it. I’m Italian; you think I’d do that stuff myself?

    Me: “Somebody in the Mob has to. If you don’t, it’s not because you’re Italian, it’s because you’re smart and lazy.”

    Brother: “The Italian word for that is ‘Don.'”

    Buddy System!


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