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    Prefers To Be Heartless

    | WI, USA | Siblings

    (I hand my sister a maple seed, which is called a key.)

    Me: “Here is the key to my heart.”

    Sister: “I don’t want the key to your heart.” *throws it at me*

    Me: *singing* “Last Christmas I gave you my heart. The very next day, you gave it away.”

    Sister: “Don’t be ridiculous! I had it for less than five seconds.”

    An Able Assessment

    | UK | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My family and I are in a restaurant, and we see a car parking outside in a disabled space. The people inside are very clearly not disabled and the car does not have a disabled permit.)

    Sister: “Dad, are they really disabled?”

    Dad: “Just mentally.”

    A Supreme Reason To Brush Your Teeth

    | UK | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (I am at home with my younger sister, my dad, and my mum. My parents are trying to get her to go upstairs and brush her teeth.)

    Mum: “Come on, [Sister], quick! Greased Lightning!”

    Sister: “Who’s Greased Lightning mum? Who is he?”

    Family: *laughing*

    Sister: *getting increasingly frustrated* “WHO IS GREASED LIGHTNING?!”

    (After about ten minutes of this, we explained and she brushed her teeth!)

    Put This Matter To Bed

    | NSW, Australia | Parents & Guardians

    (While pregnant, I have toxemia and am admitted to hospital for complete bed-rest and monitoring for a couple of weeks before the birth to save both the baby’s and my life.)

    Dad: “You’d be much comfortable in your own home.”

    Me: “No, I don’t think so. I’d be looking at all the stuff that needs to be done and it would stress me more.”

    Dad: “Nothing stopping you from getting up and doing it. You’re just being lazy.”

    Flagging Down The Answer

    | Dayton, OH, USA | Siblings

    Me: “What’s the game called where you have to capture the other team’s flag?”

    Brother: “Um… capture the flag?”

    Me: “Yeah! That’s it!”

    (Yeah, not the smartest eight-year-old out there.)

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