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    My Family And Other (Extinct) Animals, Part 3

    | Culpeper, VA, USA | Siblings, Spouses & Partners

    (My wife is texting with her sister about a homeschool trip to see some newly discovered dinosaur tracks nearby…)

    Wife: “We have to leave early Friday. We’re going to see some newly discovered dinosaur tracks in Culpeper.”

    Sister: “For a school project?”

    Wife: “Yes.”

    Sister: “Really? I thought they were extinct.”

    Wife: “…”

    Sister: “That’s creepy. I’d be scared.”

    Related:
    My Family And Other (Extinct) Animals, Part 2
    My Family And Other (Extinct) Animals
    My Family And Other Animals

    You Get No Vote In The Matter

    | USA | Parents & Guardians

    (I have just turned 18 and my mother is dragging me to the polling place to vote. I dislike politics a lot. Note: our family is from another country.)

    Me: “Mom, I don’t wanna go.”

    Mom: “WHY NOT.”

    Me: “Because I don’t like politics. Or politicians. They all lie.”

    Mom: “Well, you’re going to vote, young lady, and that’s final! We didn’t move all the way here for you to say no. We struggled through a lot to be able to vote! Do you know, back in our country, we weren’t allowed to vote?”

    Me: “Our home country allows you to vote. What’re you talking about? They have a president.”

    (My mom rants and raves about protests and corruption until finally I agree. Sheesh! Sometimes it’s better just to go along.)

    They’re Out Of The Danger Zone

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Siblings

    (My nephew is high-functioning special needs, and has mop of hair that he hates getting cut. We have been trying to convince him of how bad it looks by showing pictures of people with similar haircuts. Then, my sister gets a bright idea, and introduces him to ‘Top Gun.’ This happened a couple of days later:)

    Sister: “So, [Nephew] what do you think of Maverick’s hair cut?”

    Nephew: “Mom, could I get one just like him?”

    Sister: “Sure, if that’s what you want…”

    (Later, at the salon.)

    Sister: *to beautician* “He wants a Top Gun Tom Cruise haircut.”

    Beautician: *sparkle in her eye* “Really? We can do that!”

    (He ended up sitting the best he ever has for a haircut, and even let them wash his hair laid back in the chair. It looks great on him! Then, to top it off, as we were leaving, one of the cheerleaders from his school was coming in, and told him how good his hair looks. I think he floated out to the car he was so happy. But he now wants a Top Gun jacket, pants, shoes and aviator glasses…)

    When Parenting Calls In Sick

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (My mom is sick with a stomach flu and, since my dad has work and it’s my day off, I’m the one who will be taking care of her. My dad is giving me a long list of instructions as he walks out the door.)

    Dad: “…and make sure she doesn’t get dehydrated. I want you to check on her every hour and make sure everything’s okay.”

    Me: *jokingly* “Hey, you don’t get this worried when I’m sick.”

    Dad: *seriously* “That’s your mother’s job.”

    Great At Multitasking


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    Not So Mellow Yellow

    | MD, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (While shopping at a popular electronics store, my 60-something mother and I walk by the bright yellow courtesy wheelchairs.)

    Mother: “Ooh! Wheelchairs!”

    Me: “No, Mother. They’re not for you.”

    Mother: “Awww. But it would be fun!”

    Me: “No. Yellow means ‘Do not touch.'”

    Mother: “To me, yellow means, ‘Catch me if you can!'”


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