(My 4-year-old daughter is quite well-known for saying unusual and usually very funny things. Her second word was Tardis. I wake to find her sat on me, wearing her cow onesie. Without any prompting, she casually announces…)

Daughter: “Mummy, my favourite food in the whole world is ice cream, but my second favourite food is humans.”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Does that mean you’re a cannibal, then?”

Daughter: “Don’t be silly, mummy. I’m a zombie cow. Moooooo brains!”

(She pretends to eat me.)

Daughter: *whispering* “If you want to save yourself, you have to remove the head or destroy the brain.”