(I have sold a computer to an older woman and her son.)

Me: “So, it seems like we’ve got everything set up for your new computer! And since this is your first new device in almost a decade, would you be interested in signing up for any classes here at our store? Computers have really changed a lot since your last machine.”

Mom: “Classes do sound great, but I’ve already got a great teacher here! My son knows everything there is about computers. I’m sure he will sit down with me and teach me everything I need to know!”

(The customer’s son’s eyes open wide with a look of horror.)

Son: “You know, Mom, those classes sound great for you! I’ll even pay for them myself!”
 

(I am in a department store with my mother, doing some shopping. We are both plus sized. I’m looking at some pony print skirts.)

Mom: “Why on earth would they make cow print skirts for plus sized women!?”

(Before I can say anything, the sales clerk chimes in.)

Sales Clerk: “Ma’am those are pony print skirts, not cow print.”

Mom: *without batting an eye* “Trust me, if I wore that skirt in public, even I would be saying MOO at me.”

(I am 16 and shopping for a dress for the school semi-formal. On our way through Filene’s, I grab a lurid bra and show it to my mother.)

Me: “Hey, maybe this would look good under my dress!”

(My mom answers me, but calls across several yards and multiple other customers in the process.)

Mom: “No, no, no! You’re a C-cup!”

(It was five years before I took my mother shopping again.)

(My parents take me with them to go shopping for clothes. My mother puts me in the shopping cart with the clothes that she has not put on the conveyor belt to be paid. I, being curious, go snooping through the clothes my mother is buying. There are two women in line behind us.)

Ladies: *to me as I am digging through clothes* “Your mommy bought clothes, huh?”

Me: “Yep!” *pulls out bra* “This is my mommy’s!” *starts waving the bra around* “Everyone, this is my mommy’s!”

(I work in the electronics department of a major retailer, so there are security alarms. Normally, they’re supposed to go off when unpaid merchandise leaves the department, but sometimes it reacts to certain customers’ clothing. This happens to an unattended child, who looks to be about 5 years old. He finds this amusing, so he goes in and out of the entrance repeatedly.)

Me: “Excuse me, can you stop doing that, please?”

(He doesn’t listen to me at all. He keeps going back and forth, setting off the alarms and giggling to himself. While this is happening, I am also serving a young married couple, who also witness this.)

Husband: “Honey, I’m having second thoughts about starting a family.”

Wife: “Me too, sweetie…”