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  • This Prank Is Pregnant With Potential

    | MI, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (I’m shopping with my mother. She sees a shirt she thinks I’d like.)

    Me: “Yuck! That style always makes me look pregnant.”

    Mom: “I’ll buy it for you if you promise to wear it next time you see [Boyfriend]’s mom!”

    1992 Called, They Want Their Phone Back

    | CA, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (I am out shopping with my mom at a popular store.)

    Mom: “I need an old fashioned phone cord.”

    Me: “Old fashioned?”

    Mom: “Yeah, like for a landline. I may have to go to [Popular Electronics Store], though.”

    Me: “Yeah… or 1992.”

    A Formula For Realization

    | Germany | Siblings

    (My sister and I are at the store buying a few things. Note that she is not interested in children and therefore doesn’t know anything about them. We pass the baby food aisle and I notice she looks really confused.)

    Me: “Hey, what’s so confusing?”

    Sister: “It’s just… I never realized there were THAT many different brands and types of baby food and formula.”

    Me: “Oh, yeah. There’s quite a lot.”

    (As we walk away…)

    Sister: “I now realize how men must feel in the feminine products aisle.”

    Didn’t Know You Were Trouble When You Walked In

    | VA, USA | Children, Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My little sister and I are at the store. A woman comes up to us and starts talking to my little sister.)

    Woman: “Hi there! What’s your name?”

    Sister: “My Mommy calls me ‘Trouble!'”

    They Wheely Need The Wine

    | NE, USA | Children, Friends

    (I am taking my four-year-old daughter and her friend to the store for some quick groceries. They are singing ‘The Wheels on the Bus,’ and are making up their own words.)

    Daughter & Friend: “The mommies on the bus go, ‘Aaah! I need wine!'”

    Like Mother, Like Daughter

    , | MI, USA | Children, Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (I am female and 14 at the time. My parents are in their late forties. My mom is out of town and there is a guest pastor at my parents’ church. He is talking to my dad.)

    Pastor: “It’s lovely to meet you! And is this your wife?”

    Me: *weirded out* “Oh no, I’m the daughter. Mom’s out of town!”

    (We tell my mom and brothers afterward, share a few awkward chuckles, and think nothing more of it. My two brothers are 17 and 11 years old respectively. About a month later, the three of us are at a craft store in search of model paint.)

    Me: “Hey, while you guys find the colors, I’m going to go look at the cross-stitch stuff.”

    Older Brother: “Okay, we’ll find you when we’re done.”

    (A few minutes later, multiple aisles away, I am approached by an employee.)

    Employee: “Your sons are looking for you. Would you like me to show you where they are?”

    Me: *blinking in bewilderment* “Uh. Sure?”

    Employee: “Great! They’re right this way.”

    (The employee leads me to a different section of the store, where I see my brothers looking around as if somewhat lost. The employee presents me cheerfully to them, and walks away.)

    Me: “… so, apparently I gave birth before I existed! And again when I was three. To you guys. Go me?”

    (The only explanation we could ever come up with was that, being on the swim team at the time, I had a slightly silver tint to my hair due to chlorine. I think I would have preferred the classic green!)

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