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    A Love Across The Stars

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Siblings, Theme Of The Month

    (I am pretty much the family oddball. I’m talking to my sister while she has her boyfriend on the phone. She leaves to talk to our mother. I pick up the phone.)

    Me: “What’s up, [Sister's Boyfriend?]”

    Sister’s Boyfriend: “Not much. Playing Jedi Knight, Jedi Academy.”

    Me: “Really? Cool! I played that a lot as a kid.”

    (We talk about the game for about another half-minute when my sister returns.)

    Sister: “Hey! Give it back!”

    Me: “No! We’re talking about Star Wars!”

    Sister: “He’s MY boyfriend!”

    Me: “Our mutual fascination has to be discussed!”

    (She takes the phone away and retreats into her room.)

    Me: *calling after her* “Why do you have to be so possessive?”

    Wickedly Early In The Morning

    | Wales, UK | Siblings

    (It is Sunday morning and my sister is at her wardrobe in our shared room. She is choosing an outfit for the day and evidently has decided the dress she is wearing looks like a well known character.)

    Sister: “[My Name], are you a good witch or a bad witch?”

    Me: “Ahem!” *belting it out* “I’LL BEEE JUST FIIINE DE-FY-ING GRAV-I-TY!”

    Sister: *deadpan look* “That was quick for this time in the morning.”

    On The Scent Of The Latest Technology

    | Milwaukee, WI, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (I’ve shown my completely technophobic mother a picture on my laptop. Since all technology is kept in my room, she doesn’t get to experience everything that comes with along said technology. As I’m leaving to go back to my room, she breathes heavily, like she’s smelled something bad.)

    Mom: “Ew! It smells like technology!”

    Me: *completely taken aback* “Wait, what…? Like… plastic?”

    Mom: “No! It smells like… technology! I don’t know. You’re always on the computer. Maybe you just can’t smell it.”

    Me: “Uh…” *I head back to my room*

    Mom: “Ick! I can still smell it! Pew! Pew, pew, pew!”

    Me: *can’t resist* “LASERS!”

    Mom: “What?”

    Me: “LASERS!”

    Mom: “In English?”

    Me: “La-sers. You said ‘pewpewpew.’”

    Mom: “Is that some Internet lingo?”

    Me: “Yup.”

    (Sadly, she says this a lot, and never remembers it. )

    Little Siblings Can Be Fun(gi) To Tease

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Children, Siblings

    (For years we called my little sister, ‘Mushroom.’)

    Sister: “Why did you start calling me Mushroom? Is it because my name starts with ‘M?’”

    Me: “No, it’s because we kept you in the dark and fed you s***.”

    Thinking On Her Feet

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (My 18-month-old daughter has spilled something. I have a box of tissues nearby.)

    Me: “[Daughter], can you please get Mummy the tissues?”

    Daughter: *runs off, goes past the tissues, comes back carrying shoes* “Two shoes, Mummy.”


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