(Our very young daughter has called out to us to urgently come up to her room. After rushing up, she is pointing to the tiniest spider begging us to get it out of the room.)

Me: “Don’t be so scared. It’s only a baby.”

Daughter: “Yes, it’s a baby, so that means its parents are around here somewhere too, and they will be a lot bigger!”

(I’m a college student living at home, and I drive my sister to the bus stop in the morning. Because of our schedules, we havn’t seen each other since the morning of the day before. I’m 22 and my sister is 16.)

Me: “Oh, hey, so this guy asked me on a date yesterday!”

Sister: *sounding creeped out* “I know. He told me.”

Me: “Wait, what? What do you mean?”

Sister: “He works at my school. He’s weird.”

Me: “Um, okay. Is this a weird I should concerned about?”

Sister: “He’s my teacher!”

(I am three or four years old. My mother told me what to say, but I didn’t know what it means.)

Mom: “Sweetie, tell everyone, where did you get those big blue eyes?”

Me: “From the milk-man!”

(I am visiting my nephew. He is telling me about his friends.)

Nephew: “…and I have another friend who’s a ninja!”

Me: “A ninja? Can I see him?”

Nephew: “No, no-one ever sees him. Even I’ve never seen him, ’cause he’s a ninja.”

Me: “If you’ve never seen him, how do you know he’s there?”

Nephew: *shrugs* “He’s not a very good ninja…”

(My grandmother has just moved in with us, and is talking to my sister about health related things. She then begins to ask about my sister’s health.)

Grandmother: “Do you know your blood type?”

Sister: “I don’t know it off by heart, no.”

Grandmother: “You should know your blood type! What if you’re in the hospital, and they need to give you a blood confusion?!”