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    Also Hates Dragonfruit

    | South Africa | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Siblings

    (I am with my nine-year-old sister and my boyfriend:)

    Boyfriend: *to me* “You’re an iguana!”

    Sister: “I don’t like iguanas!”

    Me: “True, you don’t like any lizards.”

    Sister: “Lizard?! I thought it was a fruit!”

    Right Fred Said

    | USA | Siblings

    (I recently told my sister about a crush I have on a guy named Frank. I’m a girl. Note that I’m a fantasy geek, while my sister loves musicals and acting.)

    Sister: “So how’s your crush doing? Fred, right?”

    Me: “Its Frank. Not a prankster wizard (Fred Weasley), or an annoying princess (Fred, aka Winifred, from the musical Once Upon a Mattress)! Though I’ll admit Fred is kinda cute.”

    Sister: “Which one, the wizard or the princess?”

    Me: “I think it’s obvious.”

    Sister: “Huh?”

    Me: “Fred Weasley… really, [Sister]?”

    A Different Snort Of Training

    | LA, USA | Nephews & Nieces

    (My mom is babysitting my five-year-old nephew. They have baked cookies. I am visiting so my mom decided to take a nap in the living room while I entertain my nephew at the kitchen table. It is around four pm.)

    Nephew: “I think I’ll have one more cookie.”

    (He reaches for the cookie, but just before his hand touches it my mom snorts in her sleep.)

    Nephew: *jerks his hand away from cookies* “Okay, I’ll wait till after supper.”

    (I started laughing so much I woke my mom, who let him have the cookie.)

    Kids Love A Good Poly-tickle

    | Channelview, TX, USA | Children, Siblings

    (My sister and I are discussing President Obama when my eight-year-old daughter butts in.)

    Daughter: “I don’t like the president; he’s mean. He promised to help the…” *her face is screwed up as she thinks about what she’s trying to say* “…the coal miners get jobs but they’re still all unemployed!”

    (I have a dumbfounded look on my face, as I never expected something of that nature from my daughter’s mouth. My sister, on the other hand, isn’t crazy about her niece’s response.)

    Sister: “That’s just weird that you know that, [Niece].”

    Me: “I think it’s pretty awesome that my eight-year-old is confident enough to speak her mind to adults about politics.”

    Daughter: “What’s a politic?”

    Love Is A Game

    | USA | Siblings

    (My sister is playing a popular video game. The game lets you get married, but unfortunately her in-game husband is glitched, which causes him to take off running to lord knows where every in-game day. She’s just arrived back at her house and sees him taking off.)

    Me: “Whoop, there he goes.”

    Sister: “You know, I think that’s the first time I’ve seen him in a while. He’s always gone by the time I get home.”

    Me: “I guess he sobered up and realized he was married to you and decided to take a run for it while he had the chance.”

    Sister: “I like to think he gets drunk every morning and takes off running screaming, ‘Ahh! My marriage is chasing me!’”

    Conversation Will Just Go South From Here

    | Italy | Siblings

    (My friend, her brother, and I are having a discussion about South Africa. He wants to spend the summer there. My friend and I argue that it’s going to be cold. The argument escalates rapidly.)

    Me: “It’s winter there.”

    Brother: “It’s in Africa. It can’t be that cold.”

    Me: “There are mountains. It snows…”

    Brother: “Come on, it’s South AFRICA.”

    Me: “There are penguins!”

    Brother: “Yes, but they are WARM PENGUINS!”

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