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    The Real Grandchild Is A Whole Different Animal

    | Stockholm, Sweden | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Grandparents, Pets & Animals

    (My grandmother and grandfather are visiting me and my boyfriend for the first time in our new apartment. We have also just gotten a gecko as a pet and are always excited to show off our new ‘baby.’)

    Me: “Oh, hey! Do you want to meet your great grandkid?”

    (Both my grandparents suddenly look extremely uncomfortable and shocked.)

    Me: *not realizing*

    Boyfriend: “Uh…”

    Me: *realizing* “OH, MY GAWSH, NO! I meant the gecko!”

    Ain’t Love Grand?

    | Little Rock, AR, USA | Grandparents

    (I am 20 years old and have just joined the Air Force. I’m on the phone with my grandparents.)

    Grandpa: “So, how’s life?”

    Me: “Good.”

    Grandpa: “How’s work?”

    Me: “Good.”

    Grandpa: “How’s your love life?”

    Me: “Pretty great.”

    Grandpa: “How’s your sex life?”

    Me: “…”

    A Vicious Cereal Cycle

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Siblings

    (Its early morning and I cannot for the life of me, decide what to eat for breakfast.)

    Me: “[Brother?]”

    Brother: “Yes?”

    Me: “What should I eat?”

    Brother: “Depends.”

    Me: “On?”

    Brother: “What do you want to eat?”

    Me: *facepalm*


    | Marcus Hook, PA, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (My mother and I are putting a grill together for Father’s Day. The instructions are in three languages and to be funny I decided to read a warning in one of the other languages. Neither of us speaks anything other than English but I am talented with accents.)

    Me: *reads warning about oversized cook pots*

    Mom: “Your Spanish is awful.”

    Me: “I was speaking French.”

    Mom: “That explains it.”

    Always Best To Let Fake Dogs Lie

    | CA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Theme Of The Month

    (We have arrived at home after a long, tiring day. At the end of the day, I get annoyed really easily.)

    Mom: “Everyone needs to help me grab some bags!”

    (I pick up my purse, which happens to be open. All the contents spill onto the driveway. It makes a pretty loud noise, so it would be pretty hard not to know what happened.)

    Me: “DARN IT!”

    Mom: “What?”

    Me: *annoyed* “I dropped all my things on the driveway and a big dog snatched them!”

    (Dogs do not run loose in our neighborhood.)

    Mom: *leaps out of the car* “Really? Where? I don’t see any dog! Looks fine to me!”

    Me: *to my sister* “I can’t believe she actually believed me…”

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