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    A Love Born Of The Unborn

    | USA | Children, Sons & Daughters, Spouses & Partners

    (My husband is resting his head on what’s left of my lap next to my pregnant belly.)

    Me: *tenderly* “My two babies!”

    Husband: “Do you still love me more than him?”

    Me: “Yes, dear.”

    Husband: *suddenly shoving his face into the baby bump* “Haha! Hear that, sucker?!”

    Trying To Keep Your Memory Parked

    | Powell River, BC, Canada | Spouses & Partners

    (My husband and I are getting to the age where we joke a lot about senility. One day, I’ve set up an old tent on the driveway to air out so, when he comes home from work, my husband has to park the car around behind the greenhouse.)

    Husband: “Of course, you know I’m going to come out in the morning and think someone’s stolen the car.”

    (Later that evening I go out to check on things before we go to bed. When I come back in:)

    Me: “I know you were just joking earlier, but I just came around the side of the greenhouse and thought: ‘Hey, who parked a car in our back yard?'”

    He’s Either A Genius Or Insane

    | Akron, OH, USA | In-Laws, Siblings

    (After dinner, a couple of us, including my brother-in-law, decided to watch ‘Family Feud’. During this game the category was along the lines of ‘something that a yoga instructor would hate someone to do during their class.’)

    Contestant: “Try to take over the class?”

    Me: *while not looking at the TV* “Same thing we do every night, Pinky; try to take over the class!”

    Brother-In-Law: *looks at me weirdly* “I didn’t think you were old enough to know that reference.”

    Me: *smiling* “Reruns are my childhood.”

    No Longer Fancies That Word

    | Norway | Parents & Guardians

    (Mum has just bought a new lamp for the dining room. I have a tendency to call everything “fancy,” sometimes sarcastically, in lieu of finding other, more accurate descriptions.)

    Me: “Hey, you got a new, fancy lamp, too!”

    Mum: “It’s not new. It’s old-fashioned.”

    Me: “You just bought it; that makes it new. It’s still fancy.”

    Mum: “It’s not “fancy.” It’s old-fashioned!”

    Me: “Mum, “fancy” does not mean new. It just means it looks nice.”

    Mum: “Oh…”

    | Lithgow NSW, Australia | Unfiltered

    (My brother likes to come up behind people wearing one of those ghost masks and scare them. On this day, Mum is the victim of his prank.)

    Mum: “*screams* Josh! You son of a b***h!”

    Josh: “Mum, think about what you just called me.”

    Mum: “I don’t underst- oh!”

    *We all laugh*

    Daddy Doesn’t Have The Cuddle Bug

    | Spanish Fork, UT, USA | Sons & Daughters

    (My husband and I are trying to re-teach our toddler to sleep in her own bed, as we’ve moved recently. One morning, she comes into our room. Seeing as it’s almost time to get up, we decide to let her cuddle with us. She happily cuddles with me until I tell her I need to nurse her baby sister.)

    Daughter: “But I wanna cuddle you!”

    Me: *trying to reassure her* “Just cuddle with daddy for a few minutes. He loves you.”

    Daughter: *in tears* “I don’t love him!”

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