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    Vegan Grief

    | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Siblings

    (I am playing Minecraft on the Xbox with my sister. She usually takes a very vegetarian approach when playing, refusing to kill any animals.)

    Me: “So, have you seen that new update for the computer version yet?”

    Sister: “No. What’s it like?”

    Me: “Well, they added in stained glass…”

    Sister: “Is it stained with the blood of the animals you kill?”

    Let’s Hope They Drive Safe

    | Felton, DE, USA | Grandparents, Parents & Guardians

    (My parents both love camping, so they decide to buy themselves a nice RV to retire in. Sometimes, they spend nights in the RV for seemingly no reason. The morning after one such night, my grandmother calls.)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Grandmother: “Hi, [My Name]. Is your mother there?”

    Me: “She and dad spent the night in the RV. They haven’t come in yet.”

    Grandmother: “Well, it’s cheaper than a motel!”

    Playing With Fire

    | Fort Collins, CO, USA | Parents & Guardians


    (I run inside and find that Dad had managed to light stir-fry on fire. He is just standing in front of the burning stove screaming and panicking. I run and put it out with the fire extinguisher.)

    Me: “Have I just walked into a Sims game?”

    The Show’s Not Finished And Neither Is He

    | USA | Children, Siblings

    (My little brother and I are getting ready to go to school. The year is 1997.)

    Brother: “Mom, I don’t want to go to school! I’ll miss my TV shows!” *cries*

    Mom: “Don’t worry. I’ll ask your older sister to tape your show so you can watch it after school.” *to me* “Would you tape his show for him?”

    Me: “Fine, whatever!”

    Brother: “Make sure you tape it all! I want to see everything!”

    (I set the VCR. Later, after school, my little brother makes a beeline for the living room, plops himself straight in front of the TV. I sigh, and then rewind and press play.)

    Brother: *watching as show pops up* “Yay!”

    (I go. 30 minutes later, I walk by the living room TV.)

    Me: “Still watching?”

    Brother: “Uh huh.” *watching show intently*

    Me: “Huh, it should be over by now. It’s a half an hour show. Well, you have to go soon because I w—”

    (Just then, the show freezes, plays dramatic music and the words ‘To Be Continued’ flash across the screen. Then the show ends, and my brother squeaks in horror.)

    Brother: “WHAT?! THAT’S IT?!” *turns to me accusingly* “You taped it wrong!”

    Me: “No, stupid. It said ‘to be continued.’ That means it was only one part! The next part is tomorrow!”

    (My brother didn’t believe me and started to cry loudly. Even today, he still accuses me of taping his show wrong when I bring it up during family dinners!)

    Super Deforming Siblings

    | USA | Siblings

    (My brother is reading manga on the computer, and I’m looking over his shoulder.)

    Me: “Reading Japanese comics?”

    (I point to a girl with one eye closed and one open.)

    Me: “Why is she winking?”

    Brother: “She’s not winking. She’s wincing in pain.”

    Me: “Oh. Why is that guy crying?”

    Brother: “He’s not crying! That’s sweat drops!”

    Me: “But why is it under his eye? When eyes sweat that’s called crying. Isn’t it?”

    Brother: “I don’t know. Go away. You’re bothering me!” *pushes me out*

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