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    Hunger Makes You A Different Person

    | MT, USA | Sons & Daughters, Spouses & Partners

    (My husband, son, and I have just walked into a restaurant that calls out names over the speaker when their food is ready.)

    Voiceover Speaker: “Lindsay, your order is ready. Lindsay!”

    Husband: “Quick! Go be Lindsay!”

    A Shot In The Arm For Anatomical Awareness

    | MN, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (I’d had a physical earlier in the day, which ended with me getting an HPV shot. Later at home this conversation happens.)

    Me: *to my dad* “I got stabbed in the arm today.”

    Dad: “What?!”

    Me: “I got stabbed in the arm today.”

    Mom: “She had a physical.”

    Me: “Got an HPV shot.”

    Dad: “So that’s where they inject it, huh?”

    (Mom gives a short laugh.)

    Mom: “What, did you think they just injected it right into the cervix?”

    (Dad makes a vague noise.)

    Mom: “Well, I guess when they make a shot for prostate cancer that’s where they’ll inject it.”

    Me: “Right into the cervix.”

    Plane-ly Mistaken

    | FL, USA | Siblings

    (My sister and I are in my car driving home from the mall. It’s early in the night but it’s still dark out. I see a light in the sky.)

    Me: “Ohh! Look! First star of the night! I wish I may I wish I might—”

    Sister: “That’s a plane…”

    Me: “S***!”

    I Don’t Think I’m Turning Japanese

    | TX, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (I am hanging out in my room, when my mother comes home.)

    Mom: “So, [My Name], I just heard on the radio that there’s an anime convention in Austin.”

    (This piques my interest, as I do have a liking towards anime. I watch Toonami on Saturdays, and own a couple of anime DVD and blu-rays.)

    Me: “Really? Cool!”

    Mom: “So, I was wondering if you wanted to go there or not. I don’t know when it is.”

    (After looking up times, I tell her Saturday may be our best option on that matter. My mom has definitely HEARD of anime, but I don’t think she knows that much about it.)

    Mom: “So, anime is like that Chinese sort of thing, right?”

    Me: *chuckles* “Actually, Japanese, mom. They’re both in Asia, though.”

    Mom: “Oh, well, you know what I mean.” *laughs*

    (We end up not going, but that is fine by me. A few days later, she, my sister, and I go to a nearby flea market. I notice one of the sellers is selling an anime-esque VCD set. My instincts get the better of me, and I take a look at it.)

    Seller: *to me* “I gotta say, young man, that thing has a lot of discs.”

    Mom: “It has a lot of discs? Really?”

    (I open it up, and sure enough, it is a lot.)

    Mom: “Oh, wow. So, I guess it’s all in Japanese, right?”

    (She notices none of it is in English, and is trying to be correct about it.)

    Seller: “Yeah, Japanese. It’s $20.”

    (I end up not buying it. A few minutes later…)

    Me: “You know, mom, I know I had to correct you that anime is Japanese, not Chinese, but that time, I think it actually was Chinese…”

    Doesn’t Quite Get It


    funny-family-quotes

    Merrily Ignorant Laughable Father

    | TX, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (My parents and I are sitting in the car, trying to get my mom acquainted with the TV show ‘Doctor Who,’ which my dad and I like but she doesn’t.)

    Me: “You’d probably like Donna Noble a lot, Mom. She’s really funny.”

    Dad: “Yeah, she’s sort of MILF material to me.”

    (At this point, my mom and I lose it.)

    Me: “Dad, do you even know what that means?!”

    Dad: “Yeah… doesn’t it mean ‘Mature, Intimate Lady Friend?'”


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