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    Taking A Wrecking Ball To Your Musical Tastes

    | Australia | Cousins

    (My extended family is having a massive reunion, and I’m stuck babysitting my little cousins. They want to do karaoke, so I’m trying to find an appropriate song for my seven-year-old female cousin.)

    Me: “Umm…do you like One Direction?”

    Cousin: “No! No One Direction!”

    Me: “Oh… okay then.”

    (I spot ‘Best of Both Worlds’ by ‘Hannah Montana’ on the list.)

    Me: “What about Hannah Montana, then?”

    (All of a sudden my cousin’s face becomes dark and angry.)

    Cousin: “NO! Hannah Montana is the new Britney Spears, and Britney Spears is NOT GOOD.”

    (It took me a few moments to recover from being scolded by a seven year old.)

    Hopefully He Understood, God Willing

    | GA, USA | Siblings

    (When my brother and I were in our early teens, I’d decided to be more vocal about my non-Christian status. My brother was having some problems getting his head around the ‘not Christian’ thing.)

    Brother: “But you watch Touched By An Angel so you have to believe in God!”

    Me: “I also watch Hercules but you don’t see me building an altar to Zeus.”

    Don’t Tell Me How To Live My Life


    That Goes Down A Treat

    | Salo, Finland | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My mom, my little brother and I are out shopping for groceries. My brother has a huge sweet tooth and he’s picking up candy, chocolate, and all sorts of sweet stuff into his cart. We are all adults and live separately.)

    Mom: “Someone’s having a treat day, huh.”

    Brother: “No, not really. I don’t have a treat day. I have a treat week.”

    Mom: “Oh? How often is that?”

    Brother: “Four times a month.”

    Warped Sense Of Humor

    | IA, USA | Nephews & Nieces

    (I’ve just picked my niece up from school and arrived home. There is a warped board sitting on the floor in our garage, and I’m not sure why.)

    Niece: “There’s a warped board here. I wonder if it’s going to Warped Tour!”

    Me: “It’s probably BEEN to Warped Tour…”

    That Might Come Back To Bite Him

    | USA | Sons & Daughters

    (My son is 19 months old and I am 6 months pregnant with another boy.)

    Son: *lifts my shirt* “Hi, Bubba!”

    Me: “Can you give Bubba loves?”

    Son: “NO!”

    Me: “That’s not nice.”

    Son: “Okay.” *covers my belly, and in a quiet, creepy voice* “Bye bye, Bubba.” *bites my belly*

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