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    The Last Word On James The First

    | Surrey, England, UK | Children

    (I am approximately eight years old, and a big fan of a series of history comics and books. My parents have taken me to Hampton Court Palace for the day to encourage my historical fascination. Through the grounds, they have people acting through many different roles and answering questions.)

    Me: “Who’s that?”

    Steward Actor: “Why that’s King James I, lass! He was born in 1566, and united the English and Scottish crowns! He—”

    Me: “I asked for his name, not his life story, mate!”

    (If that actor is out there somewhere reading this, I really am sorry, but I am about to go study history at university!)

    Top 5 Funniest Stories of November

    | Not Always Related | Roundups

    November 2013 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Related’s top-rated stories last month!

    1. Science Makes My Head Spin (866 thumbs up)
    2. All Little Girls Dream Of Their Red Wedding (805 thumbs up)
    3. Not A Gifted Father (727 thumbs up)
    4. Not How Sleeping Works As A Rule Of Thumb (667 thumbs up)
    5. Time For Mother To Face The Music (637 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    The Walking Dead: The Next Generation, Part 2

    | OH, USA | Children, Grandchildren, Themed Giveaway

    (I try to keep our grandsons from being scared of make-believe things, but I have not been sure how successful my tactics are. The six-year-old grandson runs up to his three-year-old brother.)

    Six-Year-Old Grandson: “I’m a zombie. Uhhhhhh…”

    (The three-year-old screams.)

    Six-Year-Old Grandson: *to me* “It’s okay. We know zombies aren’t real. We’re just pretending.”

    (The three-year-old smiles and nods, screams again, and runs out of the room yelling.)

    Three-Year-Old Grandson: “The zombies are coming!”

    The Walking Dead: The Next Generation

    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 8

    | San Lorenzo, CA, USA | Aunts & Uncles, Children, Cousins

    (We are having a family get together, and are watching the Percy Jackson movie. My aunts have a few complaints about the romance in the film, much to the annoyance of my seven-year-old cousin.)

    Aunt #1: “Wait, aren’t their parents uncle and niece?”

    Aunt #2: “You’re right! Eww, he is totally hitting on his cousin!”

    (This goes on for a while until my little cousin turns to them.)

    Cousin: *matter-of-factly* “They’re family. They are supposed to love each other.”

    Every Adult In The Room: “NOT LIKE THAT!”

    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 7
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 6
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 5
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 4
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 3
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 2

    Fire Can Be Fueled By A Slarty Fart Blast

    | ON, Canada | Nephews & Nieces, Themed Giveaway

    (I am doing safety training at work which involved watching several hours of cheesy videos. During a break I text my nephew.)

    Me: “Apparently, ‘fire can be fueled by gases, liquids, or solids.’ What does that leave out exactly?”

    Nephew: “Jesus?”

    Me: “Well, thanks for that image. Jesus is not the answer to everything.”

    Nephew: “42?”

    Me: “No, I think the mice are lying to us.”

    Nephew: “You are drunk, I’m guessing?”

    Me: “I’m at work.”

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