Made Her Bed, Now She Has To Lie In It

| Surrey, England, UK | Parents & Guardians

(We’re sat at home eating dinner, when my mum turns to my dad and says:)

Mum: “You were awful in bed last night!”

(My jaw drops at how brazen this statement is.)

Mum: “You were snoring really loudly, you were tossing and turning, and you kept kicking me!”

(Dad and I laughed so hard that we had to leave the room for a few minutes to calm down. Meanwhile my mum was completely unaware of what she had said.)

It’s Like They Reinvented The Wheel(chair)

| England, UK | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

(We’re watching the 2012 Paralympics opening ceremony. The UK is about to make its entrance.)

Interviewer: *on TV* “So what sport do you represent?”

Athlete: *on TV* “Wheelchair Rugby.”

Dad: “What sport was that?”

Me: “Wheelchair Rugby.”

Dad: “Wheelchair Rugby?”

(Pause.)

My Dad, My Brother & Me: “I wanna see that!”

Crazy Homeless Princess

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Top 5 Funniest Stories Of August 2014

| Not Always Related | Roundups

August 2014 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Related’s top-rated stories last month!

  1. Can’t Mask The Truth From Children (652 thumbs up)
  2. The New Girl Is A Scream (590 thumbs up)
  3. This Tale Has No Dead End (586 thumbs up)
  4. Do You Want The Micro Or The Wave? (557 thumbs up)
  5. Careful When Expressing Yourself (422 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

I Dream Of Cookies

| CA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

(I come home for a weekend visit with a friend. My mom starts telling a story.)

Mom: “I swear I bought ‘Thin Mints’ the other day, and I hid them in the cupboard like I always do. But they aren’t there anymore and I don’t know what I did with them.”

Me: “That’s funny. Did you give them away?”

Mom: “Well, I had a dream that I gave them away. Maybe I did and just thought I dreamt it? But I remember buying them and hiding them and I asked [My Friend] and she said I didn’t give them to her.”

(The next day my mom gets a text from my sister in Chicago.)

Sister: “Hey, I got your box today! [Roommate] and I are sitting here eating ‘Thin Mints!'”

Rack Your Brain For A Way Out Of This One

| NSW, Australia | Friends, Parents & Guardians

(My mum and I have just been around to a female friend’s place and we noticed she had an awesome seasoning/herb display on her wall. A couple of days later my parents and I are sitting around the table discussing the shopping list and mum mentions seasonings. Mum and Dad have been married for 26 years.)

Mum: “Do we need any seasonings? [Friend] has a great rack.”

(I immediately burst out laughing. My dad looks at her seriously.)

Dad: “Checking out other women’s racks? Babe, is there something you need to tell me?”

(I continued to laugh as mum went bright red and stuttered to explain herself.)


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