(We have several chocolate Christmas decorations on our Christmas tree. Traditionally, we’re not allowed to eat them until Christmas Day. It is Christmas Eve.)

Sister: “Can I please eat one of the Christmas decorations?”

Dad: “Sure.”

(He cuts a piece of tinsel off for her.)

Dad: “There you go.”

Mum: “No, don’t eat that! You’ll get tinselitis!”

(My mom, dad, older sister, and I are sitting around chatting after having family dinner. I’m telling them about my week at school and use the word ‘mirth’.)

Mom: “What’s mirth?”

Sister: “Isn’t that what the wise men brought Jesus? You know, with gold and frankincense?”

(My dad and I stare at each other for a few moments then burst out laughing.)

(My dad loves ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’. Since I work at a pharmacy, we invariably have this conversation every year around Christmas.)

Me: “I’m off to work! I’ll see you tonight.”

Dad: “Make sure none of the pharmacists accidentally fill a prescription with poison and send it to the orphanage!”

Me: “I’ll make sure they don’t, Dad.”

(My aunt, uncle, and cousin are visiting from California for the holidays. My cousin has just turned 2, and his parents realize they have run out of diapers. My Uncle goes to the store while my cousin is in the bath. The bath is over before my uncle returns with more diapers. My cousin gets out of the tub, and is running around the house naked. He stops and pees on the floor.)

Aunt: “Oh, s***!”

Cousin: *jumping up and down in his pee puddle* “Oh, s***! Oh, s***!”

Aunt: “No honey, Mommy said, ‘Oh, shoot!’”

Cousin: *still jumping up and down* “Oh, Shoot! Oh, Shoot!”

Aunt: “Well, that was easy.”

Hey readers! Check out these great Holiday stories we’ve already received for the December Themed Story Giveaway:

• Santa’s A-Gender (406 votes)
• Shell(fish)ing Out For Christmas Dinner (300 votes)
• Stay Traditional And Have Big Bird For Christmas (178 votes)
• Children Create Their Own Entertainment System (240 votes)
• Geographically Incontinent, Part 4 (240 votes)
• Too Much Nog For Her Noggin (240 votes)

PS – check out Part 1!

Got a story of your own? Submit it for a chance to win a Not Always Related T-shirt!

PS – winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next t-shirt drawing: Wednesday, January 2, 2013!