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    This Tale Has No Dead End

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Cousins, Top

    (My brother has had an accident. I visit him almost every day, and even make sure I am in the recovery room when he comes out of surgery. My parents are panicking. I hold his hand, speaking to him and getting him to squeeze my hand back in response. I am able to calm my parents once they know he is responding. We didn’t talk about it afterwards. About two months later at my Mum’s birthday dinner one of our cousins comes up to me.)

    Cousin: “Oh, my God. I have so much respect for you after what I heard about you.”

    Me: “Umm, what did you hear?”

    Cousin: “[Brother] told me what you did. I love you so much for what you did.”

    Me: “What I did do?”

    Cousin: *tearing up* “It just makes me cry!”

    Me: “What did I do?”

    Cousin: “[Brother] told me that he thought he was dead after his surgery. He couldn’t see anything or hear anything. Then he heard your voice talking to him. He thought he was DEAD. You called him back and held his hand.”

    (It was so nice to hear that. We tease the bejeezus out of each other but really don’t tell each other how we feel…)

    A (Cata)Tonic For Your Illness

    | Wales, UK | Nephews & Nieces

    (My 10-year-old nephew is a little ill, and as he lies on my sofa one of my three cats lies with him.)

    Nephew: “If all three cats lie on me, does that make me the King of Cats?”

    Can’t Rule More Than The Roost

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Parents & Guardians

    (Growing up, my father demanded I was home by a certain time and I was supposed to let him know where I was going. He told me that while I lived under his roof, I had to follow his rules. I married at 23, moving out with my husband. I get a call late the next night from my father. This is before mobile phones.)

    Dad: “Where have you been all day?”

    Me: “We went out. Why? What’s wrong?”

    Dad: “I was worried! You weren’t answering your phone. I rang around everywhere I could think of. I called your in-laws and they didn’t know where you were. You didn’t tell me you were going out or where you were going to. I was so worried.”

    Me:  ”Um, Dad, I’m married.”

    Dad: “Yes, I know.”

    Me: “I also no longer live under your roof. I don’t need your permission to go anywhere or have to let you know where I am at all times.”

    Dad: “But—”

    Me: “It was your rule.”

    Almost As Contagious As Elitism

    | Scotland, UK | Parents & Guardians

    (My dad and I are in the kitchen when the phone rings. It’s my brother who lives in a nearby city and works a low level ‘shelf-stacking’ job in a popular supermarket chain. After the phone call Dad looks concerned.)

    Dad: “He really didn’t sound so good!”

    Me: “He did tell us that he had bronchitis a few days ago, you know.”

    Dad: “What? Bronchitis?”

    Me: “Yeah?”

    Dad: “But that’s what poor people get!”

    Top 5 Funniest Stories Of July 2014

    | Not Always Related | Roundups

    July 2014 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Related’s top-rated stories last month!

    1. Sadder And Wiser (665 thumbs up)
    2. Playing Fair Cop With The Brothers (650 thumbs up)
    3. Getting Red About The Pink (528 thumbs up)
    4. Poking A Hole In Politeness (522 thumbs up)
    5. This Game Has Gone To The Dogs (520 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

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