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  • They Both Agreed(o)
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    They Both Agreed(o)

    | Fresno, CA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (I’m the oldest of my mother’s four children and at this time my brother is the only one with kids of his own. Being very geeky I like to buy my nephews things like Batman or Ninja Turtles outfits, and once got tickets to a Star Wars concert for my mom’s birthday.)

    Mom: “You know, [My Name], if your nephews don’t turn to the geek side you always have [Youngest Sister].”

    Me: “What, she thinks she’s nerdy?”

    Mom: “Very.”

    (My youngest sister happens to be sitting nearby with huge headphones and hasn’t heard a word we’ve said.)

    Me: *walks over and flicks the headphones to get her attention* “NERD CHECK! Who shot first?”

    Youngest Sister: *without batting an eye* “Han Solo because YOLO!”

    Me: *laughing* “Oh, good girl! You even rhymed!”

    Mom: “What the heck just happened?!”

    Me: “A thing of geeky beauty. You don’t have to understand but she totally just passed.”

    They Are Very Depp(endable)

    | PA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

    (My mom and I are getting ready for bed. She’s talking about a new movie she wants to see.)

    Mom: “It has that one actress in it. You know the one who is always in movies with that guy and is married to the director?”

    Me: “You mean Helena Bonham Carter?”

    Mom: “Yes, her.”

    Dad: “You two are scary sometimes.”

    A Huge Blunder

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | Spouses & Partners

    (I’m in the car with my husband. We have the windows rolled down. As we are leaving the parking lot, I notice a really HUGE mastiff sitting alone in a convertible.)

    Me: *shouting at the Mastiff* “You’re HUGE!” *turn to my husband* “I said he was huge and he looked at me!”

    Husband: *shakes his head* “I can’t believe you just said that.”

    Me: “What? Why? I thought it was really cute.”

    Husband: “Look again.”

    (When I turn around to look, I notice a very muscular, body builder type guy near the car with the mastiff and my eyes go wide.)

    Husband: “When you said that, that guy looked right at you!”

    Me: “I had no clue! I was looking at the dog!!’

    Husband: “I can’t take you anywhere.”

    Not Quite The News Scoop

    | Denver, CO, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (My family used to have a special ice cream scoop that had to be hand-washed. One day, someone accidentally puts it in the dishwasher.)

    Mom: *holding scoop* “It’s ruined. I just bought this!”

    Me: “Mom, we’ve had that for eight years.”

    Can I Have A Little Less More?

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (My wife, most of my siblings, and I are at my mom and dad’s house for my mom’s birthday. After dinner, my dad brings out my mom’s birthday cake and lights it. Then he prompts us to start singing ‘Happy Birthday.’)

    Dad: “Okay, all together now…”

    (Without even looking at each other, we all broke into the chorus of the Beatles’ ‘All Together Now.’)


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