May's Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

This Operation Is On A Mission From God

| FL, USA | Aunts & Uncles, Cousins

(My family usually has whole conversations by simply quoting movies. My cousin is rushed to the hospital to have emergency surgery. This is the conversation between him, his mom, and the OR nurse as she is wheeling him out of the room.)

OR Nurse: “Okay, we are going to the OR now, you’ll see everyone later.”

Cousin: “Okay, but bring the machine that goes BING!”

OR Nurse: “Umm…okay.”

Aunt: “Well, sweetie, it is 106 miles to Chicago, we have a full tank of gas, a half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark out, and we are wearing sunglasses.”

Cousin: “Hit it!”

OR Nurse: “I am pretty sure it is more than 106 miles to Chicago from here.”

Cousin & Aunt: “…”

Not Disciplined With His Hatred

| USA | Parents & Guardians

(My dad is playing an RPG. His character class has abilities that run off of “hatred” and “discipline” meters and the character will let you know if you try to use their special abilities but don’t have enough in their meter to do so, leading to this exchange.)

Character: “Not enough hatred.”

Dad: *angrily shouting* “I have plenty of hatred!”

If Only She Could Hear Herself

| London, England, UK | Parents & Guardians

(I’m sitting at the dining table with my mother. She’s on my right and the TV is on my left. I am reading a book.)

Mum: “Can you put that book down? It’s in the way of the TV.”

Me: “But you’re looking at the computer.”

Mum: “Yes, but I like to hear the TV.”

The Go-To Goku Hero

| Raleigh, NC, USA | Nephews & Nieces, Siblings

(My sister has brought my four-year-old niece over after we haven’t seen her in a few months. My husband enjoys building plastic models, mostly Gundams, but there is a Goku figure he has built. My niece asking a ton of questions about the Gundam, then comes to the Goku.)

Niece: “Who’s that?”

Me: “That’s Goku.”

Niece: “Who’s he?”

Me: “He’s someone who saves the earth from lots of bad guys.”

Niece: “He’s my favorite hero!”

Sister: “You’re a nut! You didn’t even know who he was before now!”

Not Just Exercise To Get The Blood Pumping

| Denver, CO, UK | Parents & Guardians

(My dad and I work out together whenever I visit, but this time I can’t due to cramps.)

Dad: “[My Name], do you want to hit the gym?

Me: “I can’t work out at this time of the month. It’s my moon phase.”

Dad: *rolling eyes* “Why, do the phases of the moon affect you somehow?”

Me: “Dad? ‘Time of the month?'”

Dad: *realizing what I meant* “Ah, I don’t need to hear this!” *runs away with his fingers in his ears*

Brownies Cure All Ills

| Berkeley, CA, USA | Parents & Guardians

(My dad is a health-food nut, while I am… not. I am very sick, so I’ve been in bed, not eating, and am reduced to reading the dictionary because I am so bored.)

Dad: “I’m going to the store. Can I get you something? Juice?”

Me: “How about a panacea?” *meaning a cure for all sickness/problems*

Dad: “…How about a pan of brownies?”


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