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    Not Going To Have That Licked For A While

    | CO, USA | Siblings

    (My family and I are on a road trip in the car together. At the time, my brother is about 10 or 11 years old. My brother is sitting in the very back seat, uncharacteristically quiet and deep in thought. Suddenly, we hear him say:)

    Brother: “I wish every part of me had a tongue!”

    Express Yooourself

    | Markham, ON, Canada | Parents & Guardians

    (My sister and father are texting each other, trying to decide where to go for his birthday dinner.)

    Dad: “Okay, so which restaurant do you want? [Restaurant #1]? or [Restaurant #2]?”

    Sister: “Ooo, [Restaurant #2]!”

    Dad: “What does ooo mean?”

    Sister: “Umm, it’s like a expression.”

    Dad: “Okay.”

    Dad: “OOO.”

    Diving To New Depths Of Odd Humor

    | England, UK | Siblings

    (My brother is known for having a rather funny sense of humour. This happens while we’re putting the shopping away.)

    Brother: *holding fizzy drinks (soda) bottle* “Hey, imagine if we put one of these in someone’s diving suit. ‘I’m trying to breath in air, but all I’m getting is cloudy lemonade!’”

    Toothless Words Of Wisdom

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Grandparents

    (It is a few days before I am scheduled to have all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I am at my home when my grandmother calls me after talking with my mother about it.)

    Grandmother: “Your mother just told me that you are getting all of your wisdom teeth taken out at the same time?”

    Me: “Yeah. My teeth came in straight and not impacted, so they won’t be difficult to remove.”

    Grandmother: “That’s outrageous! I can believe they are going to do that to you!”

    Me: “But they are straight. The recovery should be minimal.”

    Grandmother: “No, no. You are going to be in so much pain and it’s only a week before Thanksgiving. You aren’t going to be able to eat anything there and you are just going to be sad and miserable!”

    (Pause.)

    Grandmother: “How are you doing, anyway?”

    Me: “Well, I was fine before you called.”

    Grandmother: *laughing hysterically*

    (I was fine after the extraction. I never even took my pain medication and by Thanksgiving, I had recovered enough to enjoy the meal just fine.)

    Time For Shakespeare To Throw In The Towel

    | NJ, USA | Siblings

    (I’ve just been told to bring down a hand-towel from the upstairs bathroom for laundry, but my brother beats me upstairs. I wait with my arm outstretched at the bottom of the stairs, so he can toss it down.)

    Me: “But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east…”

    Brother: *throws down towel* “…and Juliet is the towel.”

    Me: “Oh, that I may need to dry my hand, that I may touch that towel!”


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