• Bobbing Her Mouth Up And Down - 231 votes
  • November Theme Of The Month: Thanksgiving!

    Floppy With The Jargon

    | Roseville, CA, USA | Grandparents

    (I make the mistake of using technical jargon while talking to my grandmother.)

    Me: *half under a desk* “Grandma, do you have an extra ethernet cable?”

    Grandmother: “I think so…” *looks in a box and then hands me a 20-year-old unopened box of 3.5in floppy disks.*

    Me: “Uh… close enough?”

    Misses The Days When Coffee Was Just Coffee

    | Canada | Parents & Guardians, Siblings


    (My parents and sisters and I are going through the drive-thru of a well-known chain coffee shop, which had just begun its fall flavour promotion. My dad is the driver, and thus the one talking to the barista.)

    Dad: *as we’re waiting in the line* “Okay, what’s everyone getting?”

    (My mom and I give simple orders, but my sisters love to customize their orders.)

    Sister #1: “Nonfat, no sugar, pumpkin spice latte with an extra shot.”

    Sister #2: “Same thing.”

    Dad: “Okay, wait. A no fat, non-sugar what?”

    (At this moment, our turn to order has come, and my sisters are retelling their order when the barista starts speaking.)

    Barista: “Welcome to [Shop]. What can I get for you today?”

    Dad: “Hi, I’ll get a coffee and—”

    Barista: “What size coffee?”

    Dad: “Med—”

    Sister #1: “Dad, they don’t go by those sizes. You want a grande.”

    (My dad is getting quite flustered by this point, but he tells the barista he wants grande, then gives my mom’s and my orders.)

    Dad: “And two no-fat, extra shot, pumpkin—”

    Sister #2: “No! Non-fat, no sugar!”

    Dad: “Two nonfat, no sugar, extra shot, pumpkin space latte—”

    (At this point my mom and sisters and I all started laughing hysterically at the mispronunciation, and my poor flustered dad had to shout to finish the order. I don’t know how the poor barista got our orders right, but my dad swore he would never go through a drive-thru with us again.)

    The Rodents Of The Netherlands

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (I’m at home, studying the capitals and countries of Europe with my dad for my AP European History quiz on the first day of school. My brother is on the couch playing a video game.)

    Dad: “Serbia.”

    Me: “Uhh, Belgrade?”

    Dad: “Correct. Netherlands?”

    (I hesitate briefly before my brother yells:)

    Brother: “THINK OF BEAVERS!”

    Me: “What? What do beavers have to do with Amsterdam?”

    Brother: “Beavers build DAMS, duh!”

    Me: “…I would have said hamsters if I need a way to remember it, but, y’know… beavers works, too.”

    Psyched Up For Dancing

    | USA | Siblings

    (My little brother is about seven, and is repeating the words to a song that’s playing. However, the words actually are “I move my body like a cyclone” and that’s not exactly what my brother is saying.)

    Brother: “I move my body like a psycho!”

    (My other siblings and I crack up.)

    Brother: “…What IS a psycho, anyway?”

    A Poor Excuse For Not Knowing

    | Australia | Aunts & Uncles

    (My aunt is relating the story of my father’s birth to me.)

    Aunt: “I was 14 and at school when the local midwife’s daughter came up to me and told me that my mother had a baby that morning. I told her to stop being silly because my mother hadn’t even been pregnant. I had to ask [Other Aunt] about it, who told me it was true.”

    Me: “You didn’t know your mother was pregnant?”

    Aunt: “No, in those days children weren’t told that sort of thing. [Other Aunt] only knew about it because she was the oldest at 15 and they needed someone to cook our breakfast. She would tell us that Mum had a headache.”

    Me: “You must have been upset to find out that way.”

    Aunt: “No. It was just the way it was, but I was upset because now there were seven kids in our family and I thought that only poor families had that many children, and we weren’t poor.”

    Scary For Different Reasons

    | Hershey, PA, USA | Aunts & Uncles, Siblings

    (During a long car ride, my eight year old sister gets bored and snatches my aunt’s copy of 50 Shades of Grey from the basket in front of her.)

    Sister: “I’m bored. I’m going to read this.”

    Me: *snatching it from her* “Nooooo, you’re not…”

    Sister: “Why not?”

    Aunt: “Because it’s not for kids.”

    Sister: “But my daddy lets me watch scary movies all the time!”

    Me: “Yeah, that’s not really the problem…”