(I’m 17, and it’s right after my sister’s wedding so it’s time for her to toss the bouquet. I’m fairly tall with a long reach, so I manage to reach out and snag it right away, but the moment my hand touches it my father pops up and bellows:)
Dad: *in a panicked tone* “[My Name], NO! YOU PUT THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!”
Sister: “It’s too late. Let her go, dad!”
Dad: “NO! I’m too broke for this!”
Hey readers! We’re pleased to announce Not Always Related’s Unfiltered stories! Check them out at NotAlwaysRelated.com/category/unfiltered.
What are Unfiltered stories?
Unfiltered stories are raw, unedited and unformatted stories. They do not meet our standards of quality, so we’ve historically not posted them.
Will they show on the main timeline/feed of the site?
Nope! We don’t want to adversely affect the quality of your reading experience, so Unfiltered stories will only be visible here. For your convenience, we also have a persistent link in our top navbar.
So, an Unfiltered story can never ever make it onto the main timeline?
Usually, no. But we’ve seen a few Unfiltered stories on other sites go viral, and have therefore transferred them onto the main site. In other words, we do make mistakes and want to make sure every good story gets its chance to shine!
Why did you decide to do this?
We want to make our unfiltered stories visible for everyone to see. Also, if you’re a submitter, we appreciate the time you’ve put into submitting your story to us, and therefore want to increase the chances it’ll be read.
How often will Unfiltered be updated?
Daily! In fact, there will be more stories on Unfiltered than there are on the main timeline. How many? We post less than 30% of the stories we receive, so, LOTS of extra stories for you to read!
When will this happen?
It already has — visit the new Unfiltered category now!
(My parents have just returned from a trip. Everywhere they go, my dad tries to get a discount. He is relating a story on his recent discount for a hotel.)
Dad: “So, I asked the guy if they had a AAA discount, and he said no. Then I asked about AARP, and he said no again. Finally I asked, ‘Well, what do you do for retired military personnel!’ He found a discount then!”
Sister:“Dad, you were never in the military! So, you got the LLPOF discount.”
Dad: “What’s that?”
Sister: “Liar Liar Pants on Fire.”
(I’m about six or seven years old, and my family ends up going to a basketball game at the local high school. During a pause in the game, the marching band plays. They are… not exactly on-key or in-sync. The adults around us are wincing, but trying to be supportive. My two-year-old sister looks around, and as soon as they’re done, innocently shouts:)
Sister: “IT WAS A NICE TRY!”
(The whole gymnasium cracked up. We still tease her about it.)
(My daughter and I are the only two people in our household who like pickles. One day I open the refrigerator to find a pickle jar with no pickles left in it.)
Me: “[Daughter], why is there a jar of pickle juice in the refrigerator?”
Daughter: “It’s not JUST juice. I left you pickle debris!”
(I study and do homework in my brother’s room as he has a large desk and high quality speakers. We are listening to my Spotify playlist when the song “American Boy” by Estelle and Kanye West comes on.)
Brother: “Is this Kanye West?”
Me: “Kanye West the Kanye Best.”
Brother: “Kanye West can only reach his Kanye Best once he takes a Kanye Rest in his Kanye Nest.”
Me: “Then he would be prepared to take the Kanye Test and go on the Kanye Quest.”
Brother: “To find the Kanye Chest sealed with the Kanye Crest.”
Me: “Let me guess, once he returns he will put on the Kanye Vest and party with Kanye Zest?”
Brother: “Indeed, for this is no Kanye Jest.”