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  • Tried And Failed
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    The Mother Of All Awkward Situations

    | Mobile, AL, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (I am out shopping with my mom and sister. My sister is a waitress and gets most of her money in small bills. We start to check out and my sister pulls out her wallet and starts counting out over two hundred dollars in one and five dollar bills.)

    Sister: “Sorry this is taking so long, I’m a waitress and this is how I get paid.”

    Mom: “That’s just her story. She’s really a stripper. A really good one.”

    Some Words Transcend Generations

    | NC, USA | Children, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

    (I am very young in this story, maybe about two or three years old, and I’m being baby sat by my dad’s friend. He falls asleep with the TV on an adult comedy show. I learn a new word and my grandparents are coming to town the next day…)

    Me: “F***! F***! F***!”

    Mom: “My baby!”

    Dad: “My parents!”

    No, That Was Freud

    | Estonia | Siblings

    (My family is playing a trivia game.)

    Me: *reading from a card* “What did Archimedes discover in his bath?”

    Sister: “His penis.”

    A Scientific Process To Mayoral Selection

    | Bellevue, NE, USA | Nephews & Nieces

    (I was snuggling my five year old niece on the couch when she made a random comment.)

    Niece: “I wish I was mayor.”

    Me: “What would you do if you were mayor?”

    Niece: “I’d make all the boys and girls be scientists. And all the rest be mothers, except for the ones that want to be firemen or firegirls.”

    Tried And Failed

    | KS, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My sisters and I are having an argument about which sibling is the best. I’m the sixth and last one born.)

    Father: *wandering in to the room while we’re arguing*

    First Sister: “When Mom and Dad had me, it was perfection. I got all the good stuff. The rest of you are inferior versions made from the leftovers.”

    Me: “No way. They tried five times before finally getting the one the really wanted.”

    Father: *leaving the room* “We tried a heck of a lot more times than that. Hehehe.”

    All Sisters & Me: *BLUSH*

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