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    Don’t Joke About The Pancakes

    | Martinez, CA, USA | Siblings

    (I, my older brother, and my older sister are waiting for our food at [Restaurant known for pancakes]. I keep looking back waiting for my huge stack of chocolate chip pancakes because I am really hungry, and my siblings are laughing at me because of it.)

    Me: *sitting at the table drinking apple juice*

    Sister: “Your food’s here.”

    Me: *turns around* “WHERE?!”

    Brother: *starts laughing and gasping* “Oh, you fell for it!”

    Me: *glares at sister and stays silent for a while, before turning to her* “Your make-up’s smeared.”

    Sister: “Where?”

    Brother: *laughs hysterically* “How did you not see that coming?”

    Sister: *glares at me*

    Block Out The Bad Language

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (I’m about two in this story. I can’t get two Mega Blocks to fit together.)

    Me: “D***, d***, d***, d***, d***!”

    (My mom glares at my dad.)

    Dad: “I swear she didn’t learn that from me.”

    Should Have Thought A Head

    | USA | Parents & Guardians

    (At my high school, we have off campus lunch where we’re allowed to walk around the city. On this particular day I’ve been unfortunate enough to have a bird poop on my hair.)

    Mom: “You must be tired.”

    Me: “Yeah, I really am. What’s for dinner?”

    (My dad kisses my head.)

    Dad: “What do you want?”

    Me: “Did you really just kiss my head?!”

    (Dad’s eyes widen in realization as he runs upstairs to wash his mouth.)

    Literally Losing Yourself In A Book

    | Pepperell, MA, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (I am sitting in my room reading a book. I do not have headphones on, my radio is off, the television downstairs is off, and it’s a quiet day in general.)

    Mom: *screaming from ten feet away* “[MY NAME]!”

    Me: “AUGH! WHAT?!”

    Mom: “I’ve been calling you for five minutes!”

    (I’d been so engrossed in my book that I had blocked out the entire world around me!)

    This Is What Big Brothers Are For


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    Who Blew It The Most

    | VA, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (My father just managed to confuse my stepmother and me by talking about hotel breakfast hours while in a diner that serves breakfast. Once we get the confusion cleared up, this exchange occurs.)

    Dad: “I blew it.”

    (Pause.)

    Dad: “I blew it.”

    (He literally blows on his menu.)

    Dad: “I. Blew. It.”

    (I blow at him.)

    Me: “I blew you!… No. Forget I said that.”


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