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    Going Toe To Toe

    | New York, NY, USA | Siblings

    (My little sister knows how much I hate being tickled.)

    Sister: “Do these look like hands that can tickle you?”

    Me: “Not if I block them first!”

    (I grab her wrists when she charges.)

    Sister: “I’ll tickle you with my feet!”

    (I drop her wrists and flee.)

    Me: *shouting while running* “You can’t tickle with your feet! YOUR TOES LACK THE REQUISITE WIGGLING CAPACITY!”

    A Bit Green With Understanding

    | Scotland, UK | Siblings

    (A friend of the family is transitioning from male to female. I end up trying to explain it to my younger brother in terms he’ll understand. He’s a big fan of both versions of the show ‘Captain Scarlet’ and is particularly interested in the character Lieutenant Green who is male in the original series and female in the reboot.)

    Me: “Okay.. [Friend] used to live as a man and now she’s going to be a woman so we should try to remember to call her [Female Name] from now on. Umm… she’s also getting help from a doctor to make her body female but that’s going to take a while.”

    (I pause and wait for his reaction.)

    Brother: “Oh…” *excitedly* “That must be what Lieutenant Green did!”

    (I barely managed to keep a straight face and found myself also trying to explain the concept of ‘alternate universe’ and ‘continuity reboot.’ He still doesn’t understand the concept but has accepted our friend’s transition just fine.)

    The Object Of My Affection

    | Dover, DE, USA | In-Laws, Siblings

    (My sister-in-law has recently had a baby boy, and I’ve come over to see him and chat with his mother for a bit. At one point while she holds him, he starts to cry. She starts to get up to get a clean diaper.)

    Sister-In-Law: “Here, hold this.” *passes me the baby*

    Me: *taking the baby* “Did you just say ‘here, hold this’ about your son?”

    Sister-In-Law: “Oh, yeah, I do that a lot. I just can’t get out of the habit of saying it!”

    No Buns In The Oven In This Kitchen

    | Virginia Beach, VA, USA | LGTBQ, Siblings, Spouses & Partners

    (I live with my fiancé, future sister in law, and her fiancée, who is also a woman. I’ve cooked dinner, but I have a general rule that everyone must make their own plate up. My sister-in-law is in the kitchen making up hers, and her fiancée walks in, looking for her own plate. The girls usually call each other ‘Baby.’)

    Sister-In-Law’s Fiancée: “Are you making Baby’s?”

    Fiancé: “You better not be making babies in my kitchen!”

    Me: “They couldn’t make babies in our kitchen if they wanted to…”

    Pigs Will Fly Before She Understands

    | Joplin, MO, USA | Grandparents, Siblings

    (My little sister has recently become a vegetarian and our grandmother is having some trouble grasping this concept. This occurs during breakfast.)

    Grandma: “[Sister], can you eat biscuits and eggs?”

    Sister: “Yes, just no meat.”

    Grandma: “Well, go ahead and grab some sausage and bacon. There’s plenty to go around…”

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