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    Made A Fokes Pass

    | South Island, New Zealand | Siblings, Theme Of The Month

    (Our family is on holiday, driving through a particularly beautiful part of the country.)

    Sister: “It’s so picture-skew!”

    Me: “You’ve only ever used ‘picturesque’ in written form, haven’t you?”

    Mothers Can Talk Turkey About Fathers

    | Longmont, CO, USA | LGTBQ, Parents & Guardians, Top

    (I am about 17. I have two lesbian mothers, and was conceived with the help of a sperm bank. I am out shopping with the mother who carried me.)

    Mom: “Hey, [my name], look!”

    Me: “What?”

    (Mom holds up a turkey baster.)

    Mom: “It’s your dad!”

    At Last They See The Light

    | Galicia, Spain | Parents & Guardians

    (I’m in Spain, practising Spanish for my university studies. I’m ringing my father back in England for some advice.)

    Me: “So, dad, the bulb in my bedroom has blown. I’ve never replaced one by myself before. Can you give me some tips?”

    Dad: “What? No it hasn’t; what are you on about?”

    Me: “My bedroom’s only light is gone; I need help!”

    Dad: “It’s not your only light. I know you have a lamp. It’s tall so it reaches your bed!”

    Me: *penny drops* “Dad, I’m talking about my bedroom in Spain, not England. How would I know the state of my light in another country?!”

    Dad: “Ooh. I was wondering that myself.”

    Death Defying Oral Hygiene

    | ON, Canada | Siblings

    (The song “Die Young” by Ke$ha has just come on.)

    Sister: “Well, she is gonna die young if she brushes her teeth with a bottle of Jack.”

    Nonplussed About It

    | Houston, TX, USA | Children, Cousins

    (I am babysitting my young cousin who is trying to show off her math lessons.)

    Cousin: ” 1+1=2, and 2+2=4, and 3+3=6, and 4+4=8, and 5+5=20.”

    Me: “5+5=10, not 20.”

    Cousin: ” Well, some people call it 20!”

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