May's Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

Got Some Hairy Decisions To Make

| UK | Parents & Guardians

(I am talking with my mum in the kitchen. I’ve recently turned 18.)

Me: “I want to wash my hair but I really can’t be bothered.”

Mum: “They’re the decisions you’re just going to have to make now.”

Me: “You haven’t washed your hair for four days.”

Mum: “And that’s my decision. Problem?”

Awkward Family Photo #149


Aim High(chair)

| Brooklyn, NY, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

(I am two to three years old. A plumber is working on the sink while I am eating in my highchair. I’ve always liked watching people work and am asking the plumber questions.)

Plumber: “Do you want to be a plumber when you grow up?”

Me: “What do you think? I’m going to be stuck in this highchair for the rest of my life?!”

Should Propose A Toast To Change

| CA, USA | Parents & Guardians

(My stepmother, whom I only see on Thanksgiving and my dad’s birthday, has had the exact same conversation with me twice a year for ten years.)

Stepmom: “[Dad’s Name], do you want bread?”

Dad: “Yes.”

Stepmom: “Do you want it toasted?”

Dad: “Yes.”

Stepmom: “[My Name], do you want bread?”

Me: “Yes. Thank you.”

Stepmom: “Do you want it toasted?”

Me: “No.”

(A few minutes later, when the food is ready, Stepmom gives us both toast. I inevitably pick at mine and push it around the plate.)

Stepmom: “[My Name], you’re being rude. If you didn’t want toast you shouldn’t have asked for it!”

Me: “I didn’t ask for it. I don’t like toast.”

Stepmom: “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course you like toast. I serve it to you every time you come to visit.”

Hopefully No Bad Blood Between Them

| USA | Parents & Guardians, Teenagers

(I am a 13-year-old female, and have just started menstruating. My dad is angry because the trash can is full of bloodstained napkins.)

Mom: “[My Name], could you hide your napkins so it doesn’t gross your dad out?”

Me: *loudly* “I can’t believe this! I’m sitting here, bleeding, while all dad can complain is about blood in the trash can! What’s he looking in there for, anyway?”

Mom: “He’s not looking for anything… uh…”

Me: “They’re not going to jump out and bite!”

(I won that argument. My dad never complained again!)

Working In The Labor (Of Love) Industry

| Denmark | Children, Sons & Daughters

(I am a young girl. I am helping a father and his young son find a book in the bookstore where I work. As I walk away the young boy turns to his father.)

Boy: “Dad, are you in love with her now?”

Father: “Well, she was very helpful…”

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