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    Their Relationship Found Its Feet

    | UT, USA | In-Laws

    (I’m staying with my in-laws. I’m playing with my nine-month-old son. My mother-in-law is on the room with us.)

    Mother-In-Law: “You have a frecklefoot?”

    Me: “[Son]? Or me?”

    Mother-In-Law: “You. Did you know [My Husband] has one?”

    Me: “Yeah, I thought it was pretty funny when I found out we have freckles on the same foot. ”

    Mother-In-Law: “Well, then it was a match made in heaven!”

    A Brush With Death

    | USA | Siblings

    (We are on our way to my eighth grade graduation awards ceremony. I’m finishing up my make up and hair in the car. My little sister never brushes her hair, and I think she should more often because it is an amazing strawberry blonde.)

    Me: “You know, you should brush your hair, because you know some people would kill for your hair.”

    (My little sister turns around and looks me dead in the eye.)

    Little Sister: “Kill who?”

    (My older sister and I started laughing uncontrollably and now we always use that reference why our younger sister doesn’t brush her hair.)

    She’s Full Of Hot Air(bag)

    | Shingle Springs, CA, USA | Siblings

    (I am 16 and have just got my drivers license. My parents are overjoyed to have me taking over the task of driving my 15-year-old sister and myself to and from high school. I am somewhat less enthusiastic about the extra time alone with my little sister.)

    Sister: “I don’t wanna listen to your dumb talk radio. Let me change it!”

    Me: “I don’t care. I hate your music and it’s just for a ten minute drive home. Listen when you get back to your room with that giant stereo!”

    (It goes on like this until she starts PUNCHING me in the face while I’m driving!)

    Me: *deflecting her blows while trying to maintain sight of the road and control of the vehicle* “Are you crazy!? What are you doing?”

    Sister: “When we get into an accident, it’ll be your fault because you’re the one that made me angry!”

    Me: “Yeah, well the joke’s on you. My car doesn’t have passenger side airbags.”

    Death Is A Real Scream

    | New Haven, CT, USA | Siblings

    (My sister is driving around town with her twin three-year-old sons in the back seat when this exchange happens:)

    Twin #1: “Mommy, what’s that?”

    Sister: “That’s the cemetery.”

    Twin #1: “What’s a cemetery?”

    Sister: “That’s where people get buried when they die.”

    Twin #1: “Why do we bury people when they die?”

    (Before my sister can come up with a satisfying answer to the question, her other son pipes up:)

    Twin #2: “Because if you bury them deep enough, you can’t hear them scream.”

    A Picture Of Diminishing Returns

    | Canterbury, England, UK | Children, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

    (My friend is working in the store and overhears the following:)

    Mum: *to her 6- or 7-year-old son* “No, you can’t have this.”

    Little Boy: “If I can’t have it then I’ll run away from home, and you’ll only have a photograph.”

    (Pause.)

    Little Boy: “If I send you one.”

    (Pause.)

    Little Boy: “Which I won’t!”

    This Cook Actually Spoiled The Broth

    | USA | Grandparents, Siblings

    (My grandmother is a terrible cook. One St. Patrick’s Day, she makes corned beef and cabbage. My sister and I are totally turned off by the smell and the weird color, and she finally coaxes us to try one tiny bite. We both spit it out and make gagging noises.)

    Grandma: *exasperated* “FINE! I am never cooking for you girls ever again.”

    Sister & Me: *in unison* “Thank you!”


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