Category: Spouses & Partners

A Knuckle Sandwich

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Nephews & Nieces, Siblings, Spouses & Partners

(My wife and I have my family over and we are discussing how my young niece and nephew recently lost some teeth.)

Wife: “Oh, [Niece], you’ve lost one of your teeth!”

Niece: *big proud grin*

My Brother: “Yeah, it happened not long ago. [Nephew] had one come out, too. I accidentally hit in him with my elbow and it dropped out.”

Nephew: “Yeah, when my teeth come out, it’s always because of sandwiches or violence!

Hiding The Meaning Of Being Mean

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Sons & Daughters, Spouses & Partners

(It has been a long day of cleaning, furniture moving, and re-arranging everything in our living room to make it where we can see and interact with each other. Due to the kids’ whining and complaining, we’ve had problems with them not only getting on our nerves, but keeping them from harassing each other. Now dinner is done and the kids are lying happily on the floor watching TV while we sit behind them on the sofa and chair.)

Wife: “Well, I think this is really good. We might see a change in how we relate to each other now that we can see each other.” *with a look towards our kids* “Perhaps we’ll be nicer with each other, too. What do you think?”

Me: “Well…” *I give her a mock anger face and then flash the finger at her*

Wife: “I can’t believe you did that!” *laughs in disbelief*

Son and Daughter: “What? What?”

Me: “I made a stupid angry face at her.”

Wife: *once the kids aren’t looking, shoots the finger back at me*

(We spent about twenty minutes trying not to laugh while we kept being ‘mean’ to each other and not being seen by the kids.)

Barbie: The Next Generation

| UT, USA | In-Laws, Spouses & Partners

(My husband and I are discussing our baby’s new habit of pulling my hair while he falls asleep.)

Me: “I just wish there was something I could give him that feels like hair.”

Husband: *adamantly* “You cannot give our son dolls.”

(Fast forward a couple weeks. We’re visiting my in-laws, and my husband’s childhood comes up.)

Mother-In-Law: “When he was three or four, all [Husband] wanted for his birthday was Barbie dolls. So, that’s what we gave him.”

(It was really hard not to rub that in his face!)

Hunger Makes You A Different Person

| MT, USA | Sons & Daughters, Spouses & Partners

(My husband, son, and I have just walked into a restaurant that calls out names over the speaker when their food is ready.)

Voiceover Speaker: “Lindsay, your order is ready. Lindsay!”

Husband: “Quick! Go be Lindsay!”

Make Up Some Siblings In A Finch

| Rochester, NY, USA | Sons & Daughters, Spouses & Partners

(My husband calls from work:)

Husband: “Do we want more finches? [Boss] offered three females and a male, including the cage.”

Me: “It’s tempting, but I already have a girl and three boys. Between work and school, I don’t think I could keep up with more.”

(I hang up the phone, and turn to my son.)

Me: “Dad’s boss offered him more finches.”

Son: “Good. I thought you were talking about having a baby; I wondered where my two brothers were.”

Pushing Him Along

| Orem, UT, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters, Spouses & Partners

(My husband is trying to teach our son how to crawl. He’s got the leg movement down, but he refuses to use his arms.)

Husband: “Come on, son! Push! Push! You should know what that word means; it was probably the first thing you ever heard.”

Me: “Sweetie, he was a caesarean. I never pushed.”

Husband: “Well, no wonder he’s not getting it!”

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