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    Category: Spouses & Partners

    Acting Like A Little Princess, Part 2

    | NY, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters, Spouses & Partners

    (My daughter is about seven years old. It’s October 1st and I ask her what she wants to be for Halloween.)

    Daughter: “I wanna be a princess!”

    Me: “Okay, which one?”

    Daughter: “The prettiest one.”

    Me: *guessing* “Snow White?”

    Daughter: “Mom! I’m too pretty to be Snow White!”

    (My husband, who has been listening quietly up to this point, chimes in.)

    Husband: “What?! Snow White is the fairest of them all! Did you even watch the movie?”

    Daughter: “Yeah, but she had ugly hair.”

    Husband: “It was fashionable at the time.”

    Daughter: “The time was stupid, then! Everyone had ugly hair!”

    Husband: “How do you know?”

    Daughter: “Because Snow White had ugly hair, Daddy! I have pretty hair. I’m too pretty to be Snow White.”

    Acting Like A Little Princess

    Relatives Are Relatively Stupid

    | Australia | Siblings, Spouses & Partners

    (My husband is a LAN administrator for a large telecommunications company. Both of our families know this and expect him to work on their computers with little or no notice. The phone rings at 2 am. We both jump, thinking a call at this time of night can only mean bad news. I get to the phone first. It’s my sister.)

    Me: “What’s wrong?”

    Sister: “Is [Husband] there?”

    (I hand the phone to my husband.)

    Husband: “Hello, [Sister]. What’s wrong?… No, I can’t come over right now. It’s 2 am… I’ll be over some time in the morning. Bye.” *hangs up*

    Me: “What was that about?”

    Husband: “She got a new printer and it won’t work. She wanted me to come over now and fix it.”

    Me: “What did she say when you mentioned the time?”

    Husband: “That she knew we would be up.”

    (The next morning he drives to her place to look at the printer. When he gets home I ask him what the problem was.)

    Husband: “Some people should be banned from having computers.”

    Me: “Why?”

    Husband: “The printer cable was plugged into the computer and then the other end was plugged into another socket next to it.”

    Me: “Both ends were plugged into the computer?”

    Husband: “Yeah. She couldn’t work out why it wouldn’t work.”

    Don’t Get Smart With Me

    | KS, USA | Siblings, Spouses & Partners

    (My brunette wife has two college degrees and is probably one of the smartest women I know, but even she has her blonde moments. We’ve recently moved and I warn her that the propane is out at the old house and so the heater won’t be on when she goes over to finish getting odds and ends out. We’re planning to do some work on it before we put it on the market.)

    Wife: “Honey, that’s dangerous. What if there’s a leak? The whole house could explode.”

    (I look at my brother who is sitting at the table with us.)

    Me: “Wait for it…”

    Wife: *whacks herself on the head* “Oh crap. If we are out, then there is nothing to leak. Next time, marry a smart woman.”

    Brother: “Nah, she wouldn’t have him.”

    Callers In The Night

    , | ON, Canada | In-Laws, Spouses & Partners

    (My husband is from London, England and has moved over to Canada to start a new life with me. Among the many things to sort out, we’re also trying to transfer the money in his London bank account to our joint one here in Canada. My husband is legally blind and can’t read the websites properly, so I’m attempting to make an e-transfer of his money to our account from the internet.)

    Me: *clicking away* “So I need the sort code, but I don’t know what that is and it’s saying that the account number I’m using isn’t valid. Do you know what a sort code is?”

    Husband: “No.”

    Me: “Hmm, all right. I’ll try clicking on the help section.”

    (Much to my surprise, the help function acts like a little speech bubble that points to links I need to click and gives me information on each step. I’m genuinely pleased by this and follow the steps until I see something that makes me freeze.)

    Me: “Uh oh… OH, S***!”

    Husband: “What’s wrong?”

    Me: “Honey, trying to set up a new recipient involves the company CALLING THE PHONE NUMBER ATTACHED TO THE ACCOUNT for verification!”

    (The phone number in question? My father-in-law’s house in London! I was doing this at 9:00 at night and London is five hours ahead of us. My father-in-law was woken up by two needless phone calls at two in the morning! Needless to say, my husband and I felt really bad and I questioned this particular bank’s strategy for security.)

    Meeting The Family Is So-So

    | Chicago, IL, USA | In-Laws, Spouses & Partners

    (I am having a holiday dinner with my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. The dinner table consists of her mom, her dad, and her twin teenaged younger brothers. We’ve just begun eating and there is a painfully long silence in the conversation.)

    Girlfriend’s Dad: “Soo…”

    Me: “So?”

    Girlfriend’s Mom: “So-so?”

    Girlfriend: “Soooo so so so?”

    Girlfriends’ Brother #1: “So?”

    Girlfriend’s Brother #2: “What?”

    Girlfriend: “Uh…”

    Girlfriend’s Mom: “So so?”

    Girlfriend’s Dad: “Eh?”

    Girlfriend: “Um…”

    Me: “What’s going on?!”

    Girlfriend’s Mom: “You’ve got yourself a keeper! He’s cute when he’s got no idea what’s going on. Just like YOUR dad!”

    Girlfriend’s Dad: *grumbles under his breath*

    (They all go back to eating in silence as if nothing happened. I still to this day have no idea what actually transpired there, and neither does my girlfriend.)

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