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  • November Theme Of The Month: Thanksgiving!

    Category: Spouses & Partners

    There You Are

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Children, Sons & Daughters, Spouses & Partners

    (While surfing the Internet at work, I see a meme that says “Just when I think my son is a little carbon copy of his father, that he inherited nothing me from, he trips over his own feet and slams into a wall. I say to myself, Ahh… there I am.” At the end of my work day, my husband and seven-year-old son come to pick me up. I notice my son has a black eye.)

    Me: “What happened?”

    Husband: “He was running around the house, tripped over his own feet, and ran face first into the wall.”

    Me: “…”

    Something Missing In Their Relationship

    MI, USA | Parents & Guardians, Spouses & Partners

    (I had gone out of state with my eight-month-old daughter for a week to go to a wedding. My husband couldn’t go because he had to work. We get home, unpack our things, and I’m in the kitchen making a bottle for our daughter, when I overhear him kiss her on the head and mutter:)

    Husband: “I missed you so much more than I missed Mommy!”

    A Hot Cheesy Slice Of Common Sense

    | MA, USA | Sons & Daughters, Spouses & Partners

    (I am texting my husband:)

    Me: “[Our son] wants pizza from [Local Pizzeria]. I feel obligated to say no, but can’t think of a good reason why. It’s hot and we have nothing to cook.”

    Meet The Clumsy Family

    | Boise, ID, USA | Sons & Daughters, Spouses & Partners

    (My husband and I are painfully clumsy. I’m upstairs playing games with my toddler when I hear my husband start walking up the steps. A few seconds pass then I hear a loud thud followed by a string of obscenities. Concerned, I rush out to find my husband picking himself up off the stairs. His bright red drink is spilled all over the carpet, the noodles are everywhere, and even a small bowl of cereal has lost a teensy bit of milk.)

    Me: *concerned* “What happened?! Did you really just fall UP the stairs?! And why is there a small bowl of cereal?”

    Husband: *long string of curses, then grumbling* “Just shut up and help me clean this d*** mess up. I brought the cereal for [Son].”

    (Obliging him I lean over to help him by picking up the small bowl. Somehow I instead manage to dump the entire bowl out onto the carpet. Freezing for a second I look to my husband in panic only to find him looking at me with the most exasperated look on his face.)

    Husband: “Really, babe? Seriously?”

    Me: *burst into giggles*

    Husband: *grudgingly starts smiling*

    (We pick through the mess and get it mostly cleaned up. Our son, meanwhile, has been standing at the top of the steps solemnly watching us. Upon seeing that we are just about finished he lets out a high pitched screech and runs headlong down the hallway towards his room. Somehow though he manages to complete bypass the wide open doorway and instead happens to SLAM his left shoulder into the foot of his bed, ricochet off to the right and hit the door with his right arm, bounce off of that back to left, before finally, somehow, managing to trip over the leg of the bed and landing directly onto his face.)

    Son: *rubbing the BACK of his head* “Ow. My head hurt.” *sits up and grins*

    Husband: *throws his hands in the air* “That’s it. I give up. I don’t even know why I even bothered getting married or having kids.” *walks off while trying not to show that he’s laughing*

    (Yeah, we’re all still just as clumsy.)

    The Setting Of The Son

    | Orem, UT, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters, Spouses & Partners

    (My husband and I take a lesson from a Disney movie when divvying up responsibilities involving our son. We like to joke around that “before sunrise, he’s my son.” This usually means my husband is kind enough to take the early morning shift, while I – a night owl – handle three am emergencies. My husband is struggling to get our son’s diaper changed and get him into his jammies when I walk in the door.)

    Son: “Mama!”

    Husband: “I have been fighting him the whole time you were gone, trying to get this done. And then you walk in, and he’s smiling.”

    Me: “Well, of course! He just wanted his mama.”

    Son: *gurgles and laughs in the tone he usually uses to say “yes”*

    Me: “See?” *gurgles and laughs right back*

    Husband: *finally gets Son’s second leg into his jammies and goes for the zipper, only to have our son roll over and start to crawl away* “You know, it’s technically before sunrise.”

    Me: “True, it is after sundown, so technically it’s before sunrise.”

    Husband: *gives up, picks the child up and hands him to me* “So, here. He’s your son!”

    Language Of The Damned

    | USA | Children, Spouses & Partners

    (My son has gotten a bit noisy, so we step out into the foyer and let him crawl around so we can still hear what’s going on over the speakers without disturbing everyone else. After a few minutes, I come back with the baby and sit next to my husband.)

    Me: *whispers* “I am the worst mom ever!”

    Husband: “What? Why?”

    Me: “[Son] biffed it out in the hallway, and decided it was a great time for his very first swear word: D*** it!”

    Husband: “Uh oh, I need to start watching my language in front of him.”

    Me: “Oh. Right. YOUR language. Bad Daddy!”

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