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    Category: Sons & Daughters

    Mom Isn’t Down For The Count

    | Prince George, BC, Canada | Children, Sons & Daughters, Spouses & Partners

    (When this happens, I’m two years old, my sister is four, and my brother is about six months. My mom greets Dad at the back door as he comes home from work, which usually means we’ve been absolute terrors and she’s waiting to tag out.)

    Mom: “You know, you’re a lucky man.”

    Dad: “Okay…”

    Mom: “You have three beautiful children.”

    Dad: “Yeah…”

    Mom: “And even after today, you still have three children!”

    Dad: “‘Still’?”

    Mom: “I tried to sell two of them to the circus but they wouldn’t take them, so ‘still’.”

    Dad: *asking what is obviously the most important question in this circumstance* “Which two?”

    Mom: *glaring* “Your son is six months old. He doesn’t refuse lunch, run around the house, scream my name all day, pull everything out of the cupboards, or throw things at his sisters. He also goes down for a nap without a fuss. Which two do you *think* I tried to sell!?”

    Date Night Fright

    | CA, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters, Theme Of The Month

    (My husband and I have come back from a date night, having left our five-year-old and two-year-old daughters with a much-liked babysitter. When we come back, my five-year-old daughter proceeds to interrogate me.)

    Daughter: “Why did you and Daddy go out for dinner?”

    Me: “To spend some time together.”

    Daughter: “You wanted to be alone?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Daughter: “Why?”

    Me: “So that we could talk.”

    Daughter: “But no hugging?”

    Me: “…”

    An Appropriate Response

    | Finland | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (My husband, my 11-year-old daughter, and I are shopping. Near the lingerie department, we see an underwear ad that features a model dancing in only a bra and panties.)

    Daughter: “That picture is really weird. Why does she look like that?”

    Husband: “It’s supposed to make the underwear look fun and exciting.”

    Daughter: “It mostly looks scary and inappropriate.”

    Husband: “…I will accept that answer.”

    No Longer Your Little Bundle Of Joy

    | Williamston, NC, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (I am teasing my three-year old daughter, who frequently follows me around saying, ‘What you doing, Mama?’ We are watching Wheel of Fortune together.)

    Me: “What you doing? What you doing? Hmm?”

    Daughter: “Stop it, Mama!”

    Me: *sticks out tongue* “Killjoy!”

    Daughter: “No! You can’t kill joy! I need joy!” *goes back to watching Wheel of Fortune*

    Some Words Transcend Generations

    | NC, USA | Children, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

    (I am very young in this story, maybe about two or three years old, and I’m being baby sat by my dad’s friend. He falls asleep with the TV on an adult comedy show. I learn a new word and my grandparents are coming to town the next day…)

    Me: “F***! F***! F***!”

    Mom: “My baby!”

    Dad: “My parents!”


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