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    Category: Sons & Daughters

    That Child Will Be The Death Of Me

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (I am working on my computer while my two year old is playing happily by herself.)

    Daughter: “Mummy?”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Daughter: *with a big cheerful grin* “I will kill you. Do you understand?”

    Sick Up To Her Eyeballs

    | West Point, NY, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (My five-year-old has been sick for over a week, and has been missing school because of it. She’s starting to get better, but is still dragging it out because she doesn’t want to go back to school.)

    Me: “Tomorrow, you are going to school unless you’re bleeding from your eyeballs!”

    (She runs to the bathroom and comes back, pulling her cheeks down to show the linings of her eyes.)

    Daughter: “Mommy! My eyes are bleeding! I can’t go to school!”

    Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

    | Singapore | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

    (My family is on vacation. I am 12 years old and I throw a tantrum so my dad makes me apologize.)

    Dad: “Hey! Say sorry.”

    Me: “Ma’af.”

    Dad: “What? Say sorry.”

    Me: “I did!”

    Dad: “No, you didn’t. Now say sorry.”

    Me: “Dui Bu Qi.”

    Mom: “Stop being naughty and say sorry.”

    Me: “I did! Twice!”

    Dad: “I don’t know what you said but that wasn’t sorry.”

    Me: “I said it in Malay and Chinese. Many people speak that here in Singapore.”

    Mom: “English is spoken here, too.”

    Dad: “Stop trying to be smart.”

    Me: “Fine. Sorry.”

    Will Be In Hot Water After This

    | Alicante, Spain | Sons & Daughters

    (I am on holiday with my husband and two of my children, 16 and 20. The temperature has been about 30C all day, which we’re not used to. We’re watching a film late at night, when my 16-year-old son pauses it to go to the toilet.)

    Me: “I’m so hot!”

    (My daughter, who is sitting next to me on the sofa, throws her arms around me, nuzzles in close to my neck and whispers in my ear.)

    Daughter: “This…. is not going to help.”

    Thinking On Her Feet

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (My 18-month-old daughter has spilled something. I have a box of tissues nearby.)

    Me: “[Daughter], can you please get Mummy the tissues?”

    Daughter: *runs off, goes past the tissues, comes back carrying shoes* “Two shoes, Mummy.”


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