• I Smell A New Train Of Thought
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    Category: Sons & Daughters

    Love Crafting A New Name

    | Suffolk, VA, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (My six-year-old daughter usually watches a little TV before I take her to school in the morning. One morning, I have it on PBS Kids.)

    Daughter: “Is this on C’thulhu?”

    Me: “What? Is what on C’thulhu?”

    Daughter: *exasperated* “This show? Is this show on C’thulhu?”

    Me: “Do you mean Hulu?”

    Daughter: “Yeah, is this show on Hulu?”

    Me: “No, it’s on regular TV.”

    (Come try new C’thulhu! Our service is R’lyeh out of this world!)

    Both Acting Lady-like

    | Portland, OR, USA | Sons & Daughters

    (I’m sitting with my almost 11-year-old daughter. I am 34.)

    Me: “You’re turning into a beautiful young lady.”

    Daughter: “You’re turning into a beautiful old lady.”

    Stripped Of Your Childhood

    | Canada | Sons & Daughters

    (I am walking with my friend and her two year old daughter when we pass an old closed down strip club. Her daughter runs up and tugs on the door.)

    Friend: “No, don’t go in there. You’re not a stripper.”

    Daughter: *curious* “Stripper?”

    Friend: *looking at me* “Whoops…”

    (Neither one of us could stop laughing, and I think my friend has learned to be a little more careful what she says around her daughter, who is clearly in the “repeating everything I hear” phase!)

    The Lizard Is Not A-Mew-sed

    | Houston, TX, USA | Sons & Daughters

    (My one-year-old daughter and I are home alone. I’m in the kitchen, fixing lunch, when I hear my daughter calling out from the doorway:)

    Daughter: “Kitty! Kitty!”

    Me: “The kitties are outside, sweetheart.”

    Daughter: “Kitty!”

    (I walk over to see what she’s talking about. She’s smiling proudly and clutching a very disgruntled looking lizard in her hands.)

    Daughter: “Kitty!”

    Me: *giving up* “Yes, [Daughter], kitty. Now, let’s go put the kitty outside, okay?”

    I Smell A New Train Of Thought

    | OR, USA | Sons & Daughters

    (We go to a pumpkin patch at Halloween and the kids ride a farm ‘train,’ which is a tractor pulling a wagon. The driver stops the train part-way along the route, pretending to run out of gas.)

    Driver: *to the kids* “Oh, no! This train runs on gas and SMILES! I’ve run out of gas, so you all need to SMILE!”

    My Five-Year-Old Daughter: “Or we could all fart! Farts are gas, too!”

    After Terrible Twos Come The Tiring Threes

    | AL, USA | Children, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

    (I’m babysitting my cousins, who are aged seven, three, and two. The kids are mostly in another room, which I can see from where I am.)

    Me: *sits on the couch* “Hey, [Three-Year-Old], wanna come watch [Cartoon] with me?”

    Three-Year-Old: *has really stressed out face, and keeps glancing around* “But… but everyone’s not doing what they are supposed to be doing!”

    My Mom: “Let’s keep her.”

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