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    Category: Sons & Daughters

    I Can’t Has Cheezburgers

    | Shellharbour, NSW, Australia | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (I am about four years old. The local ‘Carols by Candlelight’ is happening in my local area. Many mascots for the companies endorsing the event are walking around including Ronald McDonald. My mum lets my neighbour take me to meet Ronald. I come back crying.)

    Mum: *to our neighbor* “Why is she crying?”

    Neighbour: “I don’t know. She just started crying so I brought her back.”

    Mum: *to me* “Why are you crying?”

    Me: *through tears* “Because Ronald McDonald didn’t give me a cheeseburger!”

    (My mum and the rest of my family now like to bring this up as often as possible, especially over Christmas!)

    It’s The Time For Giving And Taking And Eating

    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters, Theme Of The Month

    (My nearly four-year-old daughter is fresh out of the bath and is being dried off with her current favorite towel that has Santa pictures on it.)

    Daughter: “I’m turning into Santa Claus!”

    Me: “I can tell. You’re getting a white beard now.”

    Daughter: “And this is my belly!”

    Me: “Yes, it is. Where is your red suit?”

    Daughter: “Jesus ate it!”

    Me: “He has a hard time sharing Christmas, I guess.”

    Not A Family Friendly Christmas

    | Athens, Greece | Children, Siblings, Sons & Daughters, Theme Of The Month

    (I am in the kitchen with my husband while our four children decorate the Christmas tree. I look into the living room to make sure they’re being good.)

    Me: *to my husband* “Aren’t they sweet? For once, they’re playing nicely.”

    (Just then, my almost five-year-old daughter comes running to us with a big grin.)

    Daughter: “Mama! Instead of a star, can we cut off [Sister]‘s head and put it at the top of the tree?”

    Mew-sing On Your Job

    | Peoria, IL, USA | Sons & Daughters

    (My husband works for a newspaper. He takes our grade-school daughter to see his office. Later I find her making a box out of pillows and trapping our cat inside it.)

    Daughter: “The kitten is a journalist, so he has to live in a cubicle.”

    Losing Your Religion Over It

    | Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Children, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters, Theme Of The Month

    (I am in my local Pakistani owned corner shop, shortly before Christmas. The owner’s two young children are playing around the shelves in the shop.)

    Owner: *to his kids* “Hey, you two. If you don’t start behaving, I’ll phone Santa and remind him we are Muslim.”


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