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    Category: Sons & Daughters

    Got A Good Reading On You

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (It’s not long after my son’s 10th birthday; part of his gift was a sports jersey. He is wearing it when we go to the Easter agricultural show. A teenage boy running past, taps him on the shoulder.)

    Teen: “Hi, [Son].” *runs off*

    Son: *amazed* “Mum, that boy knew my name. I don’t know him. How did he know my name? Can he read minds?”

    Me: “No, but he can read.”

    Son: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “Your name is on the back of your jersey.”

    Son: *sheepishly* “Oh, yeah. I forgot.”

    Trying To Make You Die Laughing

    | Crestview, FL, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (My three-year-old daughter comes skipping up to me out of the blue.)

    Daughter: “I’m going to miss you when you die very soon…”

    A People Person

    | BC, Canada | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (I have just strapped my three-year-old daughter into her car seat in the back of the car.)

    Me: “Oooh, now you’re trapped, so I can eat you!”

    (I pretend to try and chew on her head making ‘nom, nom’ noises.)

    Daughter: “No, Mummy, you can’t eat me. I’m a people.”

    Me: “I can’t?’”

    Daughter: “No, you can only eat food, and I’m NOT a food. I’m a people.”

    Me: “You’re a people?”

    Daughter: “Yes, so you can’t eat me.”

    Me: “Okay, then…”

    Catering For Your Future

    | Washington, DC, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings, Sons & Daughters

    (We’re on a family walk through a very nice neighborhood. My younger sister is walking beside our mother, a little ahead of my father and me. We are all pointing out our favorite houses as we pass them. Suddenly, my mother shoves my younger sister off the sidewalk and into the street.)

    Sister: “Hey!”

    Dad: “Everything all right up there?”

    Mom: “Did you hear what she just said to me!?”

    Dad: “No, why? What’d she say?”

    Mom: “I asked if she’s gonna have a room for me when she gets all rich and famous and buys her big house. She said ‘Sure am. It’s gonna have hardwood floors, granite countertops, and stainless steel appliances. It’s gonna be called “The Kitchen.’”’”

    Reading You Your Rights

    | Thurmont, MD, USA | Children, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

    (I am five years old. My parents, my little brother, and I are on our way home after a day out.)

    Me: “I’m hungry! Mom, can stop somewhere?”

    Mom: “No, [My Name]. Besides, there isn’t anywhere out here to eat!”

    Me: “Yes, there is! That sign says ‘restaurant!’”

    Mom: “The jig is up! The kid can read!”


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