May's Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

Category: Sons & Daughters

In A Manner Of Speaking

| Wellington, New Zealand | Children, Sons & Daughters

(I am reading a book on manners to my two-year-old daughter.)

Me: “‘Bert would like a drink. What should he say?'”

Daughter: “Please”.

Me: “‘Oh, my goodness, Ernie just burped! What should he say?'”

Daughter: “Did you hear that one?!”

Can’t Sea Into Your Dream

| Finland | Children, Sons & Daughters

(I have put my six-year-old daughter to bed. About an hour later, I hear her whimpering and go to check on her. She’s sitting up in bed.)

Me: “What do you need, sweetie?”

Daughter: *between sobs* “I want a… I want a… seamonkey.”

Me: *realizing that she’s talking in her sleep* “Okay, let’s go back to sleep now. We can talk about it tomorrow.”

(I tell her what she said the next day. Not only does she not remember, she also has a question for me.)

Daughter: “What’s a seamonkey?”

They Better Get The Order Right First Time

| San Leandro, CA, USA | Sons & Daughters

Me: “Wow, this article says that Wells Fargo has an ATM in Antarctica… I wonder what they need cash for there. Do they have a store or something?”

Son: “Domino’s!”

The Early Seeds Of A Career

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Sons & Daughters

(I’m sitting in the living room reading while my three-year-old son is playing ‘waiter.’)

Son: “What would you like?”

Me: “Oh, I guess I’ll have a salad.”

(He trots off to his bedroom and comes back in a minute.)

Son: “Here you are, ma’am.”

(He hands me a plastic saucer with, neatly centred on it, a colourfully-illustrated package of lettuce seed.)

It’s Not Okay!

| Jerusalem, Israel | Children, Sons & Daughters

(I am talking to my two-year-old son.)

Son: “Daddy, I [something incomprehensible].”

Me: “What?”

Son: “I [same incomprehensible thing].”

Me: “What did you say?”

Son: “I [same incomprehensible thing].”

Me: *not wanting to spend half an hour on this* “…okay.”

Son: “I [same incomprehensible thing].”

Me: “Okay.”

Son: “No! Don’t say okay!”

Me: “What do you want me to say?”

Son: “Say ‘Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh’.”

Me: “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”

Son: “No!”

(He then started crying. I still have no idea what that was all about.)

If A Bear Can Do It…

| USA | Sons & Daughters

(I have a five-year-old daughter who is helping me out in the kitchen when this happens.)

Daughter: “I don’t wanna go camping.”

Me: “Why?”

Daughter: “There’s no bathrooms!”

Me: *raises an eyebrow* “So? Pop a squat and go in the woods.”

Daughter: *scandalized* “No! All the animals would be watching me!”

Page 1/19012345...Last
Next Page »