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    Category: Siblings

    Having An Identical Crisis

    | Littleton, MA, USA | Siblings

    (My brother and I are sitting on the bus. The stop after ours only has two students, twin girls.)

    Me: *as the twins get on* “[Brother], did you know? They’re IDENTICAL twins.”

    Brother: “What? No, they aren’t.”

    Me: “Yeah, they are.”

    Brother: “No, LOOK. They’re wearing different sweaters!”

    A Trend-Sweater

    | MA, USA | Siblings

    (I just got a new job that requires I dress nicely so I’ve bought a new wardrobe of nicer looking clothes including a bunch of cardigans. My sister has noticed a pattern when I wear them.)

    Sister: “Why do you always leave the bottom button undone when you wear the cardigans?”

    Me: “LL Cool J wears his cardigans like this.”

    Sister: “So?”

    Me: “I feel like it makes me look tougher and gives me street cred when I look imitate him.”

    Sister: “You are a 100 lb soaking wet, scrawny ass, white girl in nerd glasses; glasses that you actually need. You are the farthest thing from LL Cool J. As a matter of fact, LL Cool J could probably knock you over with a sneeze, and you think wearing your fancy sweaters like his will make you look more street tough?”

    Sister: “But, but, my sweater…”

    The Text Was Just The Tip Of The Ice

    | Dubuque, IA, USA | Siblings

    (As I’m leaving my sister’s apartment at night, I slip on some black ice and hurt my knee. While my mom drives me home, I realize I should probably let her know about it so she doesn’t get hurt.)

    Me: “Be careful; bottom of your stairs is black ice.”

    Sister: “Okay.”

    (Once we get home, I finally get a good look at my knee, then send her a picture to emphasize she should be careful.)

    Sister: “What did you do?!”

    Me: “HOW DID YOU THINK I KNEW ABOUT THE BLACK ICE?!”

    Dad Cannot Change His Stripes

    | MA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (This happened when my brother and I were very young. My dad would tell us stories in the car.)

    Dad: “Have I told you the story of the most ferocious animal alive?”

    Me: “No?! What is it?”

    Dad: “It’s… a zebra!”

    Me: “What? A zebra? But it’s like a horse. How could it be the most ferocious animal?”

    Dad: “Exactly! It’s like a horse, but why do we ride horses and not zebras?”

    Brother: “…Are zebras really the scariest animal?”

    Dad: “Yes! We tried to ride them, but they were much too angry! And that’s why we ride horses now.”

    (This was almost 20 years ago and we still joke about ferocious zebras to this day!)

    Requires Shark Repellant

    | VA, USA | Siblings

    (When Jaws first came out, I was a preteen living on the ocean with family. We were at the beach every single day. The movie really had an impact on all the kids my age. Despite going swimming in the ocean every day of our lives, we were suddenly wary of every splash. I did some research (as is my habit) and found out that sharks are pretty shy creatures. They will generally strike whatever is farthest from the shore, turn, and swim back out to sea. That made sense to me so from that point forward, I always made sure my sister was swimming farther out than me. I related that story dozens of times but, apparently, for the first time in front of her when we were in our 40s. She was furious!)

    Sister: “How dare you! You risked my life!”

    Me: “Were you ever actually bitten by a shark? Have we ever actually SEEN a shark?”

    Sister: “That’s not the point!”

    (We are in our 50s now and I am still unforgiven (and unrepentant). In a few weeks, the whole family is getting together at the beach for the first time in decades, all the siblings, nieces and nephews. I am going to make sure her kids are swimming farther from the shore than mine.)

    The Americanization Of Stereotyping

    | NY, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My sister, mom, and I are watching a TV show. One part shows a girl talking about having a boyfriend. My family is all Asian).

    Mom: “See? That girl is 13 and she’s already talking about having a boyfriend. All these Americans are about status, but we Asians are about education.”

    Me: “Uh—”

    Mom: “I’m glad you girls aren’t into that stuff. If you became Americanized then you would be pregnant by now.”

    Me: “Americanized?”

    Sister: “Mom’s racist!”


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