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    Category: Siblings

    Catering For Your Future

    | Washington, DC, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings, Sons & Daughters

    (We’re on a family walk through a very nice neighborhood. My younger sister is walking beside our mother, a little ahead of my father and me. We are all pointing out our favorite houses as we pass them. Suddenly, my mother shoves my younger sister off the sidewalk and into the street.)

    Sister: “Hey!”

    Dad: “Everything all right up there?”

    Mom: “Did you hear what she just said to me!?”

    Dad: “No, why? What’d she say?”

    Mom: “I asked if she’s gonna have a room for me when she gets all rich and famous and buys her big house. She said ‘Sure am. It’s gonna have hardwood floors, granite countertops, and stainless steel appliances. It’s gonna be called “The Kitchen.’”’”

    Naivety Is Too Precious

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings, Theme Of The Month

    (My family is  together watching Lord of the Rings from the very beginning.)

    Mom: “What are these? Dwarves?”

    (My family tends to troll my mother.)

    Brother: “Yes.”

    Dad: “Yeah, it’s the chief dwarf’s wedding.”

    Me: *taking pity* “No, they’re hobbits. It’s that Bilbo’s birthday, and also Frodo’s.”

    Mom: “I wonder where they found these actors.”

    Brother: “Oh, they’re in New Zealand. They have this whole village of midgets.”

    Dad: “Yeah. It’s an actual village they recruited.”

    Me: “But they don’t like being called midgets. The tallest person in that village is 4’10″.”

    Mom: “Really?”

    Us: “Yes.”

    (We kept going until my brother and I started cracking up- and even then she was still unsure if we were joking or not.)

    A Babe In The Woods

    | Italy | Children, Parents & Guardians, Siblings, Theme Of The Month

    (I am about five years old, and I tell my sister of three years that she had been found in the woods outside our house and that she is not actually my real sister. Fast forward two years later:)

    Mom: “Stop throwing tantrums, start behaving, and follow your sister’s example!”

    Little Sister: “I know she is not my sister! She told me that I was found outside in the woods. You are not my real mom!”

    (I had completely forgotten about that, but my sister had been believing that she was found in the woods for two years!)

    The Birth Certification Of Emily Rose

    | USA | Siblings

    (14 years ago, my older sister had a baby boy. I let everyone know that I would like a niece next. Six nephews later, my younger sister has a girl. I’m a writer with naming apps on my phone and books on naming and she bounces names off of me. Since it’s looking like I will never get to have kids, I’m thrilled to have input.)

    Sister: “I think we have a name. Emily Rose?”

    Me: “That is gorgeous. I love the name Emily.”

    Sister: “Or we might spell it the French way; Emilie.”

    Me: “That’s also good. You have actresses Emilie Ravin and Clark and a painter named Emilie that I like.”

    Sister: “But Emily Rose isn’t too common, is it?”

    Me: “Other than the occult psychology movie The Exorcism of Emily Rose? Not really.”

    Sister: “Gah! Why’d you say that?”

    Me: “It’s not that well-known! And it’s inspirational! The girl chooses to suffer so she can be an influence for good!”

    Sister: “Now I can’t use it! If my next idea has a creepy association, don’t tell me!”

    Me: “Please, don’t hate me…”

    (I really shouldn’t have mentioned the connection to the person who didn’t like creepy basements. At the time of this submission, the baby’s three days old and I might be the reason she doesn’t have a name yet. I just lost my best aunt ever certification.)

    Going Toe To Toe

    | New York, NY, USA | Siblings

    (My little sister knows how much I hate being tickled.)

    Sister: “Do these look like hands that can tickle you?”

    Me: “Not if I block them first!”

    (I grab her wrists when she charges.)

    Sister: “I’ll tickle you with my feet!”

    (I drop her wrists and flee.)

    Me: *shouting while running* “You can’t tickle with your feet! YOUR TOES LACK THE REQUISITE WIGGLING CAPACITY!”


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