June's Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Category: Siblings

Seeing Things Is Wearing Things

| Auckland, New Zealand | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

(I am woken one morning by my mother and brother marching into my room holding a truly dreadful paisley shirt found while cleaning out Dad’s wardrobe of all its most 1960s stuff.)

Mother: “Your brother says this one looks like a hallucination.”

Brother: “So we decided it would suit you.”

Don’ Mess With This Family

| Pendleton, SC, USA | Siblings

(My brother and I are discussing a friend who owes me several hundred dollars. Our father is of Italian descent and grew up in New Jersey, so we sometimes joke about having Mob connections.)

Brother: “Well, if you need any kneecaps busted, let me know.”

Me: “I would love to see you try that. He’s twice your size!”

Brother: “I’d get [Foster Brother] to do it. I’m Italian; you think I’d do that stuff myself?

Me: “Somebody in the Mob has to. If you don’t, it’s not because you’re Italian, it’s because you’re smart and lazy.”

Brother: “The Italian word for that is ‘Don.'”

A Capital Reason To Travel

| Canada | Siblings

(My sisters and I do a lot of traveling, mostly for vacation but sometimes for work as well. We used to have a race going on between the four of us to see who would reach Russia first. My second eldest sister ended up going to Sochi for the Olympics last year, but since we’re rarely all in the same area we hadn’t had a chance to discuss it.)

Sister #1: “I don’t think it should count.”

Sister #2: “Why not? I made it to Russia; race OVER.”

Me: “I think countries should only count if you actually spent more than one night in the capital. Otherwise, you technically can count countries you’ve had a lay-over in – even if you didn’t leave the airport.”

(We then begin counting all the countries we’ve ‘actually’ been to.)

Sister #1: “I’ve got at least twenty.”

(She’s an aide worker and travels to many different countries in the world for work.)

Sister #2: “I’ve got eight, then.”

Me: “Five.”

(My third sister is counting to herself and then lets out a loud groan. If we don’t include all the countries my eldest sister traveled to for work, my third sister has done the most traveling.)

Sister #3: “I’ve only been to Canada!” *pouts and then crosses arms* “I don’t like this rule.”

Having An Identical Crisis

| Littleton, MA, USA | Siblings

(My brother and I are sitting on the bus. The stop after ours only has two students, twin girls.)

Me: *as the twins get on* “[Brother], did you know? They’re IDENTICAL twins.”

Brother: “What? No, they aren’t.”

Me: “Yeah, they are.”

Brother: “No, LOOK. They’re wearing different sweaters!”

A Trend-Sweater

| MA, USA | Siblings

(I just got a new job that requires I dress nicely so I’ve bought a new wardrobe of nicer looking clothes including a bunch of cardigans. My sister has noticed a pattern when I wear them.)

Sister: “Why do you always leave the bottom button undone when you wear the cardigans?”

Me: “LL Cool J wears his cardigans like this.”

Sister: “So?”

Me: “I feel like it makes me look tougher and gives me street cred when I look imitate him.”

Sister: “You are a 100 lb soaking wet, scrawny ass, white girl in nerd glasses; glasses that you actually need. You are the farthest thing from LL Cool J. As a matter of fact, LL Cool J could probably knock you over with a sneeze, and you think wearing your fancy sweaters like his will make you look more street tough?”

Sister: “But, but, my sweater…”

The Text Was Just The Tip Of The Ice

| Dubuque, IA, USA | Siblings

(As I’m leaving my sister’s apartment at night, I slip on some black ice and hurt my knee. While my mom drives me home, I realize I should probably let her know about it so she doesn’t get hurt.)

Me: “Be careful; bottom of your stairs is black ice.”

Sister: “Okay.”

(Once we get home, I finally get a good look at my knee, then send her a picture to emphasize she should be careful.)

Sister: “What did you do?!”

Me: “HOW DID YOU THINK I KNEW ABOUT THE BLACK ICE?!”


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