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    Category: Siblings

    Get Your Head Out Of The Gutter

    | USA | Siblings

    (My siblings and I are having a fight about who does the most work.)

    Me: “I go to school and work. At least I’m not just sitting around like you two, scratching my coconuts!”

    Sister: *laughs* “You’re saying that we scratch our boobs and balls!”

    Brother: “No, idiot, coconut means heads! She meant head!”

    Sister: “Really?”

    Me: “Yes…”

    Can’t Always Get The Brother That You Want

    | Reno, NV, USA | Siblings

    (My brother and I are watching ‘House, MD.’ Two of the characters are engaged in a banter which involves quoting the song ‘you can’t always get what you want.’)

    Character: “You were right. You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you can get what you need.”

    Brother: “Woah! That would make a great song.”

    Me: *laughing* “Mick Jagger thought so, too.”

    Brother: “Who?”

    Me: *facepalm*

    Yoko Oh No

    | Reno, NV, USA | Siblings

    Brother: “What’s a… ‘homie hopper’?”

    Me: “Um… one who hops homies? Like, the Yoko Ono of the group.”

    Brother: “What’s a Yoko Ono?”

    Me: “How am I related to you?”

    Relatives Are Relatively Stupid

    | Australia | Siblings, Spouses & Partners

    (My husband is a LAN administrator for a large telecommunications company. Both of our families know this and expect him to work on their computers with little or no notice. The phone rings at 2 am. We both jump, thinking a call at this time of night can only mean bad news. I get to the phone first. It’s my sister.)

    Me: “What’s wrong?”

    Sister: “Is [Husband] there?”

    (I hand the phone to my husband.)

    Husband: “Hello, [Sister]. What’s wrong?… No, I can’t come over right now. It’s 2 am… I’ll be over some time in the morning. Bye.” *hangs up*

    Me: “What was that about?”

    Husband: “She got a new printer and it won’t work. She wanted me to come over now and fix it.”

    Me: “What did she say when you mentioned the time?”

    Husband: “That she knew we would be up.”

    (The next morning he drives to her place to look at the printer. When he gets home I ask him what the problem was.)

    Husband: “Some people should be banned from having computers.”

    Me: “Why?”

    Husband: “The printer cable was plugged into the computer and then the other end was plugged into another socket next to it.”

    Me: “Both ends were plugged into the computer?”

    Husband: “Yeah. She couldn’t work out why it wouldn’t work.”

    Not Very Quick On The Draw

    | UK | Children, Siblings

    (My 13-year-old brother likes to play on the Wii, and my nine-year-old sister likes to draw.)

    Sister: “Give me something to draw!”

    Brother: “What like?”

    Sister: “Anything!”

    Brother: “Er… draw my Mii!”

    Sister: “You?”

    Brother: “No, my Mii!”

    Sister: “So, you?”

    Brother: “No, my Mii, with two ‘I’s!”

    Sister: “You have two eyes!”

    Brother: “Oh, never mind…”

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