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    Category: Siblings

    A Tough Concept

    | UT, USA | Siblings

    (I’m at a barbecue with several family members. I’m talking to my younger sister. She’s guessed that I’m pregnant.)

    Me: “Yeah, so I’m due on [day before her birthday], so happy birthday!”

    Sister: “Oh man, that means you and [Husband] had “Happy Birthday, Dad” sex!”

    Me: “What?”

    Sister: “I figured it out, and Mom and Dad must have had sex on his birthday, so that means that’s when you guys did it, too!”

    (I assured her that wasn’t how we celebrated our dad’s birthday, but decided that correcting her about the conception date was a little TMI.)

    Dovetailing On An Explanation

    | PA, USA | Siblings

    (My sister is driving. We stop at a red light near a sign for a restaurant with loopy cursive writing and a pig with a frying pan.)

    Me: “Oh, Famous Dave’s BBQ. For a second I thought that said “Famous Doves” but that name didn’t make any sense for a pork place.”

    Sister: *teasing me*: “Yes, it does. They served BBQed doves. They’re delicious.”

    Me: “Right.”

    Sister: “They’re burnt offerings. Burnt peace offerings!”

    Me: *laughing* “That’s so wrong.”

    Sister: “Hey, if you’re going to misread signs, I’m going to run with it until I create an explanation that makes sense.”

    Kitted Out For A Relationship

    | PA, USA | Siblings

    (I just bought my first car, which I love more then anything despite the fact that it’s older than I am. I’ve even named it, Kitt. I go crazy trying to keep it clean and free of scratches. Due to how much time I spend with it my sister has dubbed it my “boyfriend.” This is an inside joke between my sister and me. Even my mother doesn’t know about it and thinks I actually do have a boyfriend.)

    Me: *heading out the door* “Hey [Sister], I’m going to the store with Kitt. Do you need anything?”

    Sister: “Nope! Tell your boyfriend I said ‘hi,’ though!”

    Mom: *after I’ve left*  “I worry about her and that boyfriend of hers. I’ve never met him before. What if he does drugs?! What if this ‘Kitt’ guy is a murderer?”

    Jurassic Breakfast

    | Langley, BC, Canada | Children, Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My entire family is eating breakfast. All six of us are trying to get my three-year-old brother to eat French toast. He is refusing for whatever silly reason (very picky about food). Being the oldest sister at 11, I give refuse to give up.)

    Me: *I point to the French toast and in an excited voice tell him* “Brother, these are DINOSAUR EGGS! THAT ONE IS A T-REX AND THIS ONE IS A TRICERATOPS. I’M GOING TO EAT A PLATEOSAURUS.”

    Brother: *looks at me with wide eyes* “Really?” *awed voice*

    Me: “Yup.” *I start eating mine* “If you eat them they grow in your tummy and make you strong.”

    (Mom, Dad, and two sisters are looking at me funny. He starts to eat them.)

    Dad: *looks at me* “But wha…”

    Mom: “Shush! He’s eating now. Shut up.”

    (Took five years for dinosaur eggs to be called French toast.)

    Getting Crabby With The Injury

    | USA | Siblings

    (I’m sitting in the living room, and my little sister is on the other side of the room.)

    Sister: “I have a crab on my leg.”

    Me: “You have a… crab on your leg?”

    Sister: “Yeah.” *she points to the back of her leg* “Right there.”

    Me: “A crab?”

    Sister: “Yeah.”

    Me: “You mean a SCRAPE?”

    Sister: “It WAS a scrape.”

    Me: *realizes* “Ohhhh. You have a SCAB on your leg.”

    Sister: “Yeah, I have a scab.”

    The Odds Are Not In Your Favor

    | IN, USA | Siblings

    (My sister and I are watching ‘The Hunger Games,’ I am 22 and she is 14. I am also on my computer writing.)

    Sister: “[My Name], would you Volunteer as tribute for me?”

    Me: *without hesitation* “Nope.”

    Sister: “What?!”


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