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    Category: Siblings

    Complaining About All Walks Of Life

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My brother and I are hanging out in the living room with my mother nearby in the kitchen. I’m playing a video game on my laptop. In the game I had the character walk from one town to the other which took me a little while.)

    Me: “Hold on for a second. I need to go to the bathroom.”

    Brother: “Can I play while you’re gone?”

    Me: “I guess, but don’t get killed. I haven’t been able to save since [Town #1].”

    Brother: “Okay!”

    (I get up to do my business and come back. Sure enough, my brother is sitting there with a sheepish look on his face.)

    Brother: “Um… sorry. I kinda died.”

    Me: *annoyed* “Great, now I have to walk all the way back to [Town #2].”

    (My mother overhears this exchange.)

    Mother: “You’re complaining about walking in a video game? How lazy are you?!”

    The Moon Can Wait For Nap Time

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Siblings

    (I’m talking with my two-year-old brother, who’s just gotten a NASA suit for his Halloween costume.)

    Me: “Hey, bud, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

    Brother: “An astronaut!”

    Me: “So you’re going to go into space?”

    Brother: “Yeah, after my nap!”

    Can’t Find Fish Nor Fowl Smell

    | Grand Junction, CO, USA | Siblings

    (At my youngest sister’s wedding reception at my dad’s Elks’ lodge, my two older brothers get ahold of my sister’s and new brother-in-law’s car keys to their sports car. We then head out to the parking lot to decorate it. My younger brother and I get out the cans on strings and shaving cream. But my oldest brother gets an evil look on his face as he pulls out a cellophane-wrapped fillet of fish from the grocery, and then places it under the passenger seat. We figure that they’ll find it soon, as it’d be sure to start smelling in a day or so. About a month after their wedding, though, I’m talking to my sister on the phone.)

    Sister: “For the last couple of weeks, my car has smelled awful. I can’t figure out if I stepped in something, or what could’ve happened.”

    Me: “Um… did you find the salmon fillet under your passenger seat?”

    Sister: *screaming after she drops the phone and runs out to her car to look* “Brothers!”

    My Sister Can Be A Brain Drain

    | IN, USA | Siblings

    (My sister and I are driving home after seeing a concert. It’s not particularly late, but the show was loud and high-energy, so we’re both rather tired, drained, and not thinking clearly. We’re otherwise sober. I notice an elementary school’s marquee out the window.)

    Me: “Huh. [Elementary School] is doing ‘Fiddler on the Roof.’”

    Sister: “No, that’s the school corporation’s summer musical. High school.”

    Me: “Oh! I was about to say… that’s kind of heavy stuff for a middle school to be producing.”

    Sister: “That school is an elementary school.”

    Me: “Gah! Music… too… loud… brain… no… work…”

    (We arrive home at this point; my sister accidentally drives up onto the curb trying to park.)

    Sister: “Brain… thing… contagious…”

    Fun Bails Out For Good

    | Grand Rapids, MI, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (I’m walking out the door on my way to work.)

    Dad: “Have fun!”

    Sister: “Be good!”

    Me: “Wait, that’s two conflicting statements. What should I do, be good or have fun?”

    Dad: “I’m the dad, I trump your sister. Have fun; just remember not to call me for bail money.”

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