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    Category: Siblings

    Clean Poetic Lines

    | Chapel Hill, NC, USA | Siblings

    (This story takes places over several email messages between my brother and I one night. We don’t often talk and this may be one of the most productive conversations we’ve had in a while.)

    Brother: “I ask in haiku /

    My windshield is so dirty /

    Do you have cleaner?”

    Me: “Verily I say/

    For windshield clean and view clear/

    Windex I do have.”

    Brother: “October eighteenth [or seventeenth]/

    Could you, would you, ‘dex my car? /

    I’d just make more streaks.”

    Me: “Those dates doth work well/

    Available I shall be/

    Windex; rags in hand.”

    Brother: “A five seven five /

    Expression of gratitude /

    This line is filler.”

    The Cat Was Not A-Mew-sed

    | USA | Pets & Animals, Siblings

    (My brother’s cat usually sleeps with him. Tonight, for some reason, the cat decides to sleep with me, but I don’t know he is under the covers.)

    Me: *in bed* “What’s this weird furry thing?”

    Cat: “Meooooowwwww!!”

    Me: “Gah!”

    (I roll over and feel him with my foot, and not knowing it is him, try to kick him! In response, he slashes at my foot and hops off!)

    Me: “OW! Owwww…”

    Brother: *bursts in* “What happened?!”

    Me: *explains*

    Brother: *pets cat* “Good cat.”

    Peeling Away The Dream Layers

    | MI, USA | Siblings

    (I’m babysitting my little brother, who’s fallen asleep on the couch. I wake him up to take him to his room.)

    Brother: *frantically* “There are no bananas in the refrigerator!”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Brother: “But [My Name], there are NO BANANAS IN THE REFRIGERATOR!”

    Me: “You’re asleep.”

    (The next morning.)

    Me: “Hey, [Brother], there are no bananas in the refrigerator.”

    Brother: “What? Why would there be bananas in the refrigerator?!”

    Planet Of The Pacinos

    | CA, USA | Siblings

    (My twin sister and I are taking a walk through our hometown when I notice a man who looks remarkably like a certain celebrity. I decide to point this out.)

    Me: “That guy looks like Al Pacino.”

    Sister: “What? No, he doesn’t.”

    Me: “He totally does!”

    Sister: “How the h*** does he look like Al Pacino?”

    Me: “He has a droopy jowl.”

    Sister: “Lots of older men have droopy jowls.”


    It’s Demon-Possessed Barbie!

    | PA, USA | Siblings

    (While randomly browsing toys on the Internet, I stumble upon an action figure of the demon lord, Diablo, from the video game of the same name, and excitedly add it to my cart.)

    Me: “Hey! Hey, [Sister]! Look what I bought!”

    Sister: “Why are you buying that? It’s really expensive and you already have enough toys.”

    Me: “Because I want to dress him up in Barbie clothes and make him live in the dream-house with Ken!”

    Sister: “You’re buying an expensive action figure of a demon just so you could make him hang out in a dress at the dream-house?”

    Me: “I am an easily amused individual…”

    (About an hour after he arrived I sent her pictures of him awkwardly riding in the back of Barbie’s pink convertible with Ken and a rubber velociraptor. 24 years old and I still play with my toys the same way I did when I was 7.)

    Best To Keep The Coke In Context

    | MD, USA | Siblings

    (Two of our relatives have just moved to a new apartment and are holding a housewarming party. One of the presents is a kitchenware set that includes coffee mugs.)

    Me: *picks a mug up and pretends to take a sip out of it*

    Sister: *jokingly* “[My Name!] Keep your filthy lips off the cups!”

    Me: *also jokingly* “Me? Filthy?! You’re the one with the Coke lips!”

    (For context, my sister has a tube of novelty lip gloss that tastes like Coca-Cola, so when she wears it, she technically has Coke lips.)

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