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    Category: Siblings

    Perhaps He Could Google It

    | Stockholm, Sweden | Parents & Guardians, Siblings, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m home with my mother and father for Christmas. My father is on the phone with my sister. My mother and father are both notorious for mixing up their children’s names. My name begins with an ‘I.’)

    Father: *on the phone* “Sophia just came home.”

    Sister:I’m Sophia.”

    Father: “Yes, of course. I mean I… Internet, just came home. No, that’s not her name. What’s her name?”

    (I guess I do help him a lot with his computer issues…)

    How To Train Your Children

    | Felton, DE, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s Christmas, I’m three and my brother is five. He’s gotten a train set and one of my toys is a tiny doll baby. While my parents are out of the room, he tries to take my baby and put it in the train, but my grandmother stops him. She then leaves the room, and this is caught on camera.)

    Brother: *stops the train in front of us, yanks the doll baby from my hands, and shoves it into the train*

    Me: *starts screaming and crying*

    Dad: *from down the hall* “Bud, what happened?”

    Brother: “I don’t know! She just put her doll baby in the train and started screaming!”

    Mom: “Are you lying to us, [Brother]?”

    Brother: “No!”

    (My mother comes into the room, stops the train and takes the baby out, then hands it to me.)

    Mom: “Don’t put your doll baby in the train, okay?”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Headless Versus Brainless

    | USA | Friends, Siblings

    (My sister, friend, and I are watching ‘Sleepy Hollow’ with Johnny Depp, the really violent one. The horseman has just jumped from the ground and ridden off into the night. Suddenly, my friend speaks.)

    Friend: “Why didn’t he cut off THEIR heads?”

    Me: “Oh, uh, you’ll see.”

    Sister: “Maybe he’s blind…”

    Me: *laughs*

    Sister: “What…? Oh.”

    First World Seasonal Problems

    | NY, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings, Theme Of The Month

    (It is Christmas morning, and everyone in my family is happily unwrapping presents. Suddenly, one of my little sisters stands up, her arms full of toys, and bursts into tears.)

    Mom: “What is it? What’s wrong?”

    Sister: “I got EVERYTHING that I wanted for Christmas!” *sobs harder* “Now there’s nothing left for me to get for my birthdaaay!”

    A Light Cult Following

    | Geneva, Switzerland | Siblings, Theme Of The Month

    (My sister and I are decorating our Christmas tree, and I’m joking around as we do it.)

    Me: “I’m going to make people believe I’m a prophet, and I’ll found a new cult. My followers will have to wear sparkly Christmas tree decorations on their heads.”

    Sister: “I’m pretty sure nobody would want to follow that cult…”

    Me: “I’ll make them.”

    Sister: “How?”

    Me: “I’ll convince them I’m their prophet.”

    Sister: “Yeah, sure…”

    Me: “I have magical powers to convince you! You just watch!”

    (I glare dramatically at the Christmas tree. At that precise moment, all its lights go out. My sister stares at me.)

    Sister: *slightly freaked* “Are. You. Kidding. Me?!”

    Me: “I told you so!”

    (Of course I’m not really a prophet, and the lights going out was just a coincidence. But the timing was perfect!)

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