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    Category: Siblings

    Locking Death’s Door

    | MA, USA | Siblings

    (My sister and I are ten and eight years old respectively. We constantly argue and annoy each other, especially during car rides.)

    Me: “I’m going to throw you in the ocean!”

    Sister: “Well, I’m going to throw you in the ocean with cement blocks on your feet so you can’t swim away!”

    Me: “Well, I’m going to bring a saw and cut away the cement and then I’ll poison you!”

    Sister: “Not fair! You can’t bring a saw! I’m going to switch drinks and you’ll be the one being poisoned!”

    Mom: “Will you both stop it! I’m going to put you both in your bedrooms and throw away the key!”

    Sister & Me: “But our bedrooms don’t lock!”

    Mom: *bangs head on steering wheel in frustration*

    Sister & Me: “Haha! We won this round!”

    Mom: “Well, at least you can agree on something…”

    A Window To The Past

    | IL, USA | Siblings

    (My much younger sister is becoming frustrated that her favorite online game won’t play on our aging computer. Being 15 years older than her, I start to tell her about the 90s and how slow computers were back then, and how you had to dial into the internet. I even play her a Youtube video of the dial up sound.)

    Me: “I can’t believe Windows 95 came out almost 20 years ago.”

    Sister: “Uh, we don’t still have Windows 95 do we?”

    Me: “Oh, h*** no! That’s something like Fred Flintstone would’ve used!”

    Time To Assay The Essay Situation, Part 4

    | WA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My mom, sister, and I are in the car talking about all the homework we need to do over the weekend. My mom reminds my sister of an essay she needs to write.)

    Mom: “This is. like. the second time I’ve reminded you.”

    Sister: “It’s, like, the hundredth!”

    Me: “Those are two very different numbers…”

    Mom: “It’s somewhere between the two.”

    Sister: “No, it’s, like, the thousandth time!”

    Me: “You just multiplied your number by ten.”

    Mom: “Yet the essay is still not done…”

    Sister: “Mom! That’s, like, the millionth time you’ve told me!”

    Mom: “Yet it’s still not done…”

    From Not Always Learning:
    Time To Assay The Essay Situation, Part 3
    Time To Assay The Essay Situation, Part 2
    Time To Assay The Essay Situation

    What The Truck?

    | USA | Siblings

    (I am with my sister on a road-trip with one of her friends. We’ve been on the road for more than 12 hours. My sister is driving and is getting very tired, so we decide to pull over to a rest stop to take a break. We approach a sign directing cars to go one way and trucks to go the other.)

    Sister: “Am I a car or a truck?”

    Me: “What?”

    Sister: *sleepy and panicked* “Am I a car or a truck? AM I A CAR OR A TRUCK!?”

    Me: “You’re a car.”

    (She ended up driving into the truck lot and parking there anyway. After a short nap, she was better.)

    The Ridicule Molecule

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Siblings, Themed Giveaway

    (My little brother likes to come up with creepy pickup lines and then test them on me. On a trip to the mall, I am followed around a brain games store by an employee who is a bit socially awkward, but still trying to flirt with me despite my efforts to get him away from me.)

    Brother: *after leaving the store, lurks over me whilst breathing heavily and waggling his eyebrows in an imitation of the employee* “I feel we have bonded on a sub-molecular level.”

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