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    Category: Parents & Guardians

    They Come In Minnie Sizes Also

    | Canada | Parents & Guardians

    (My dad and I are shopping at a crowded mall on a Friday. My dad sees the Victoria’s Secret ad. It is a giant billboard of a girl in a black bra.)

    Dad: “Hey!”

    (He walks up to the ad, sticks head between the breasts and yells…)

    Dad: “I’M MICKEY MOUSE! M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E! MICKEY MOUSE!”

    (I was completely mortified.)

    Driven To Text The Lord

    | Anaheim, CA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My mother is a crazy driver. She is driving on a particularly bumpy road. I receive a text from my sister whom is sitting next to me in the backseat.)

    Text: “JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!”

    Franish

    | Marcus Hook, PA, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (My mother and I are putting a grill together for Father’s Day. The instructions are in three languages and to be funny I decided to read a warning in one of the other languages. Neither of us speaks anything other than English but I am talented with accents.)

    Me: *reads warning about oversized cook pots*

    Mom: “Your Spanish is awful.”

    Me: “I was speaking French.”

    Mom: “That explains it.”

    The Cycle Of Life

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (My mom and I are sitting in the car when a big group of cyclists pass. A few seconds later, a few who are lagging behind pass as well.)

    Mom: “Those are the ones that get eaten by lions in the wild.”

    Always Best To Let Fake Dogs Lie

    | CA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Theme Of The Month

    (We have arrived at home after a long, tiring day. At the end of the day, I get annoyed really easily.)

    Mom: “Everyone needs to help me grab some bags!”

    (I pick up my purse, which happens to be open. All the contents spill onto the driveway. It makes a pretty loud noise, so it would be pretty hard not to know what happened.)

    Me: “DARN IT!”

    Mom: “What?”

    Me: *annoyed* “I dropped all my things on the driveway and a big dog snatched them!”

    (Dogs do not run loose in our neighborhood.)

    Mom: *leaps out of the car* “Really? Where? I don’t see any dog! Looks fine to me!”

    Me: *to my sister* “I can’t believe she actually believed me…”


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