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    Category: Parents & Guardians

    A Victim Of A Cliché

    | KY, USA | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters, Theme Of The Month

    (I get home after babysitting a neighbor’s kids. I take my backpack with me to work on homework after the kids go to bed.)

    Mom: “So, how did babysitting the [Neighbor]‘s kids go?”

    Me: “I don’t know if I want to babysit for them again.”

    Mom: “Why not?”

    Me: “Their dog ate my homework.”

    Always The Same Old Faces

    | Geneva, Switzerland | Parents & Guardians

    (I connect to Facebook on my mum’s computer and forget to log out. She calls me a few hours later:)

    Mum: “I tried to go onto Facebook and it was your profile instead of mine! There were all those people and topics I didn’t know anything about!”

    Me: “Oops, I must’ve forgotten to log out. Do you want me to help you do it now?”

    Mum: “No, it’s okay. We’ll do it some other time.”

    (The next day, on the phone again.)

    Mum: “I opened Facebook again and it was STILL your profile!”

    (Well, duh!)

    A Different Kind Of Car Troubles

    | Princeton, NJ, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (My mother was driving to my new apartment. Since it is new, she doesn’t really know where it is.)

    Mom: “Where is it?”

    Me: “It’s right there.”

    (Ten seconds pass.)

    Dad: “Maybe you should turn around and try again?”

    Me: “You passed it!”

    Mom: “What? But I was looking for the Lexus!”

    Us: “You’re driving the Lexus!”

    A Different Bear-ing On Gender

    | Norway | Cousins, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

    (My daughter is eleven and owns a teddy bear. His name is Mister.)

    Daughter: “Mom, Mister is seriously considering a sex change.”

    (I am surprised, but don’t let on too much.)

    Me: “Oh, really! Why does he want that?”

    Daughter: “Well, because the female teddy bears can have so much more clothing. They can wear a lot more different and cool clothes. Mister thinks it would be really cool to have that. And then his name would be Missy instead!”

    Me: “That makes sense. And teddy bears really only have social gender, they don’t have juridical and biological sexes like us humans do, so I bet it’s a lot easier for a teddy bear to switch genders than it would be for a human.”

    Daughter: “Yes! I just throw him in the air and shout ‘Hallelujah!’ and that’s that.”

    (After spending a day or so ‘seriously considering’ it, Mister did indeed become Missy.)

    A Weighty Statement

    | Romania | In-Laws, Parents & Guardians, Spouses & Partners

    (Me, my husband, his mother, and our eight-year-old son are sitting at a table dining. Our son is unhappy about losing a toy and we try to comfort him in a pretty traditional way…)

    Mother-In-Law: “Don’t be sad, Sometimes losing things means they made space for something else in your life…”

    Husband: “Yes, and losing is sometimes good, and it makes you happy!”

    Me: “For instance, when you lose some weight!”

    Mother-In-Law: *not listening* “…and maybe someone else finds what you lost and is happy to have it.”

    (Everyone burst out laughing leaving my mother-in-law confused.)

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