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    Category: Nephews & Nieces

    Can’t Mask The Truth From Children

    | MI, USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces, Spouses & Partners

    (My fiancé had an extremely abusive relationship before me, one that took her several years of therapy to recover from. Part of her previous partner’s abuse involved breaking her cheek bone and part of her jaw, and while she has had reconstructive surgery, she still has some very heavy scarring and prefers to wear a mask out in public. We are visiting relatives on my side for a family dinner, many of whom have not seen her without the mask. This is an interaction between my five-year-old niece and her.)

    Niece: *to my fiancé* “Why do you always wear that mask?”

    Fiancé: *tenses up* “Because I’m ugly.”

    Niece: “I bet you’re not!”

    Fiancé: “Yes, I am.”

    Niece: “Never! See?”

    (My niece climbs a chair and puts a dirty flower that she’s picked from the garden in her hair.)

    Niece: “All pretty girls need a flower!”

    (At that point my fiancé breaks down and gives a few happy sobs while holding her. Later…)

    Fiancé: “Have I ever told you how awesome your family is?”

    Me: “You could stand to mention it more.”

    (She playfully punched me and then gave me a hug before taking off her mask. For the first time she attended a family dinner without wearing it at all. Goes to show you that sometimes kids know what you need better than you do!)

    A Conversation Breast Left Alone, Part 4

    | UT, USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces

    (This occurs the night before my sister and I are flying to Europe with our siblings to visit our grandparents. My sister is in a frenzy, packing last minute items, while her four-year-old son is in the tub. I end up getting him out of the tub and dressed. Also, I am wearing a v-neck shirt, so when I bend over, my cleavage is more obvious.)

    Me: *bending over* “Okay, little dude, here is your towel. Let’s get you dried off, then find you some PJ’s.”

    Nephew: *pointing at my chest* “What are those?”

    Me: “Oh, those are strings for the hood on my jacket, so I can tighten it.”

    Nephew: “No, what are those!” *again, pointing at my chest*

    Me: “This is for the zipper, so I can zip up, or unzip my jacket, see?”

    (I show him my zipper pull on my jacket.)

    Nephew: “Those, what are THOSE?!”

    (It finally dawns on me that he is pointing at my breasts.)

    Me: “Well, they are kind of like yours.” *I poke him in the chest*

    Nephew: “Can I see?”

    Me: “Nope! Now go to your room, and find your pajamas!”

    (My sister laughed hysterically when I finally told her what happened.)

    Related:
    A Conversation Breast Left Alone, Part 3
    A Conversation Breast Left Alone, Part 2
    A Conversation Breast Left Alone

    A (Cata)Tonic For Your Illness

    | Wales, UK | Nephews & Nieces

    (My 10-year-old nephew is a little ill, and as he lies on my sofa one of my three cats lies with him.)

    Nephew: “If all three cats lie on me, does that make me the King of Cats?”

    Seems To Be Blowing This Sky High

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces

    (My nephew is going through a phase. We are helping my mom run errands.)

    Me: “Oh, look at Grammy! She’s walking really well without a cane now.”

    Nephew: “No, you’re wrong.”

    Me: “No, really, look. No cane.”

    Nephew: “Nope. She uses a cane.”

    Me: “Look, she does not have the cane WITH her.” *I point to show him*

    Nephew: “Oh… well, I thought you said she did have a cane. It’s because you don’t talk clearly.”

    Me: “My enunciation is fine. It’s something I’ve noticed with you recently; you don’t even listen to me and you just say I’m wrong. I could tell you the sky is blue and you would say it was wrong because you didn’t listen. It makes me sad because I think that you don’t care about what I say.”

    Nephew: “Oh, well, sometimes my brain is too full and it deletes some words.”

    Me: “Well, we should work on that.”

    Nephew: “Besides, the sky isn’t blue. It’s light blue.”

    Getting Red About The Pink

    | USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces, Top

    (My four-year-old nephew and six-year-old niece want ice cream.)

    Me: “Okay, kids! One for you and one for you.”

    Nephew: *annoyed* “Why did you bring me this?!”

    Niece: “It’s yummy! Try it! Thank you Uncle [My Name]!”

    Nephew: “No, it’s pink!”

    Me: “What’s the problem with pink? It’s strawberry flavor. You like them.”

    Nephew: *more annoyed* “Pink color is for girls! Boys eat brown color and white color! I’ll turn to a girl if I eat this!”

    Me: “That’s not true! I eat pink—”

    Niece: *angry* “I EAT ALL THE COLORS! DID YOU SEE ME TURNING INTO PONIES?! NO, SO EAT IT RIGHT NOW!”

    (I was too busy laughing my guts off to stop him from dumping the ice cream on her dress.)


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