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    Category: Nephews & Nieces

    Incontinent Compliment

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | In-Laws, Nephews & Nieces

    (My brother, sister-in-law, and their two kids are on vacation. They have got a Kinder-Egg for each of the kids but the kids have to wait to have them. My nephew, who is five, wants his egg…)

    Sister-In-Law: “You can have your egg but only if you give your daddy a complement.”

    Nephew: *looks confused, thinks hard and says* “South America?”

    The Gift Of Childlike Innocence

    | Birmingham, AL, USA | In-Laws, Nephews & Nieces

    (My sister is wrapping some shirts to give to my brother-in-law for his birthday. My nephews, ages three and five, are ‘helping,’ and she is worried that they will spoil the surprise.)

    Sister: “Now, remember: don’t tell daddy what’s in the presents!”

    Nephews: “Okay!”

    (A couple hours later, my brother-in-law returns home from work and sees the wrapped gifts on the counter.)

    Brother-In-Law: “Hey, what are these?”

    Five-Year-Old Nephew: “It’s not shirts!”

    Three-Year-Old Nephew: *holding up three fingers* “Yes it is! Three of them!”

    Bear With Me

    | Boston, MA, USA | Nephews & Nieces

    (My nephew is about to turn four, so I’m over for dinner to help plan his birthday party. He’s singing in the bathtub.)

    Nephew: *to the tune of “Ten Little Indians* “One little, two little, three little rubber bands. Four little, five little, six little rubber bands. Seven little, eight little, nine little rubber bands. Ten little rubber bands, bear.”

    Me: “Erm… bear?”

    His Mom: “It’s always bear. Just go with it.”

    Me: *shrug*

    Unsafe Word

    | New Zealand | Nephews & Nieces, Parents & Guardians

    (My nephew is five and learning how to read. His reading homework is to read a book about a baby hippo, which he is reading to my mum.)

    Nephew: “Baby hippo is asleep on mother hippo’s back. Baby hippo is…” *he pauses while trying to work out the word* “…f***ed?”

    Mum:Safe! Baby hippo is safe!”

    Take Back That Thought

    | Belgium | Nephews & Nieces, Parents & Guardians

    (I’m visiting my mother, who’s looking after my sister’s six-year-old daughter. My cousin had a baby the year before.)

    Mom: “Did you hear? [Cousin] is going to have another baby.”

    (My niece looks up in a state of shock and horror.)

    Me: “No, [Niece], she’s having a second baby. She’s not trading in the first one.”

    Niece: *sigh of relief*

    All Foreign-Talk And No Trousers

    | Israel | Nephews & Nieces

    (My husband’s family lives overseas. Our niece is four years old – her parents speak English to her at home, but it is not her first language. She and I are playing Barbies, in English.)

    Niece: *holds out an item of Barbie clothing that looks like an oddly shaped skirt* “What is this? A shirt?”

    Me: “Hmm. Well, it doesn’t have sleeves. So, it could be a shirt, but I don’t think it’s shaped right to be a shirt.”

    Niece: *pulls the little skirt over the Barbie’s legs* “It’s a… it’s a… shirt for legs!”

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