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  • Category: Nephews & Nieces

    Not Quite Telling Him Straight

    | Shawano, WI, USA | Nephews & Nieces

    (Wisconsin started a reforestation program in the early 1900s because of the decimation done by heavy logging in the 1800s. We’re driving past one of the numerous pine plantations in the area.)

    Nephew: “There go some Straight-Row Pines.”

    Me: “What do you mean, ‘Straight-Row Pines?'”

    Nephew: “They’re called that because they always grow in straight rows.”

    Me: “Who told you that?”

    Nephew: “My dad.”

    Me: “And you believed him?”

    (How my nephew could get to high school without questioning that piece of information given to him by a dad who loves to tease, I don’t know.)

    Making Stuff Happen

    | QLD, Australia | Nephews & Nieces, Siblings

    (I’m watching two of my nephews, aged seven months and six years. I have to take the eldest to school but he’s no where near ready. I’m changing his brother’s diaper while talking to him.)

    Me: “[Oldest Nephew], go get your jumper… Go get your Chill Out Pass… Go brush your teeth… Go put your socks on… Get your shoes…”

    Nephew: *now frustrated* “Why do you keep making me do STUFF?!”

    Me: “Because I’m not your slave?”

    (That night my sister comes to talk to me after putting him to bed.)

    Sister: “So, [Nephew] complained that you are bossy and make him do things.”

    Me: “Yeah, he didn’t like me telling him to get ready for school this morning.”

    Sister: “Oh, don’t worry. I just laughed and said ‘good.'”

    Me: “Oh?”

    Sister: “He didn’t like that…”

    A Very Pleasing Video

    | Canada | Nephews & Nieces

    (My best friend is teaching in Asia for a year, so I’m making a video for her birthday. My two-year-old niece is playing nearby, so I decide to film her and include her in the video.)

    Me: “[Niece], can you say ‘happy birthday?'”

    Niece: “Happy birthday; I want cake.”

    Me: “Oh. We don’t have any cake. Sorry.”

    Niece: *thinks about it* “Happy birthday; I want cake PLEASE.”

    A Knuckle Sandwich

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Nephews & Nieces, Siblings, Spouses & Partners

    (My wife and I have my family over and we are discussing how my young niece and nephew recently lost some teeth.)

    Wife: “Oh, [Niece], you’ve lost one of your teeth!”

    Niece: *big proud grin*

    My Brother: “Yeah, it happened not long ago. [Nephew] had one come out, too. I accidentally hit in him with my elbow and it dropped out.”

    Nephew: “Yeah, when my teeth come out, it’s always because of sandwiches or violence!

    What A Total Witch

    | IA, USA | Nephews & Nieces

    (My niece has recently become obsessed with the Harry Potter series, and during a movie marathon has just had a fan-girl moment where she was upset at one of the Weasley twins having a girlfriend.)

    Niece: “That witch!”

    Me: “Pun not intended?”

    Niece: *doubles over laughing*

    A Different Snort Of Training

    | LA, USA | Nephews & Nieces

    (My mom is babysitting my five-year-old nephew. They have baked cookies. I am visiting so my mom decided to take a nap in the living room while I entertain my nephew at the kitchen table. It is around four pm.)

    Nephew: “I think I’ll have one more cookie.”

    (He reaches for the cookie, but just before his hand touches it my mom snorts in her sleep.)

    Nephew: *jerks his hand away from cookies* “Okay, I’ll wait till after supper.”

    (I started laughing so much I woke my mom, who let him have the cookie.)


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