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    Category: Nephews & Nieces

    Seems To Be Blowing This Sky High

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces

    (My nephew is going through a phase. We are helping my mom run errands.)

    Me: “Oh, look at Grammy! She’s walking really well without a cane now.”

    Nephew: “No, you’re wrong.”

    Me: “No, really, look. No cane.”

    Nephew: “Nope. She uses a cane.”

    Me: “Look, she does not have the cane WITH her.” *I point to show him*

    Nephew: “Oh… well, I thought you said she did have a cane. It’s because you don’t talk clearly.”

    Me: “My enunciation is fine. It’s something I’ve noticed with you recently; you don’t even listen to me and you just say I’m wrong. I could tell you the sky is blue and you would say it was wrong because you didn’t listen. It makes me sad because I think that you don’t care about what I say.”

    Nephew: “Oh, well, sometimes my brain is too full and it deletes some words.”

    Me: “Well, we should work on that.”

    Nephew: “Besides, the sky isn’t blue. It’s light blue.”

    Getting Red About The Pink

    | USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces

    (My four-year-old nephew and six-year-old niece want ice cream.)

    Me: “Okay, kids! One for you and one for you.”

    Nephew: *annoyed* “Why did you bring me this?!”

    Niece: “It’s yummy! Try it! Thank you Uncle [My Name]!”

    Nephew: “No, it’s pink!”

    Me: “What’s the problem with pink? It’s strawberry flavor. You like them.”

    Nephew: *more annoyed* “Pink color is for girls! Boys eat brown color and white color! I’ll turn to a girl if I eat this!”

    Me: “That’s not true! I eat pink—”


    (I was too busy laughing my guts off to stop him from dumping the ice cream on her dress.)

    Crazy Logic

    | Antwerp, Belgium | Children, Nephews & Nieces

    (My 12-year-old nephew and I are enjoying a sunny spring day. After some wild play and running around, he is content sitting next to me.)

    Nephew: “Dad forgot to say to make you crazy this morning. I don’t know why he says so but each time we come to you, he does. But don’t worry, I won’t listen to him. It is stupid after all. If you are crazy, you cannot take us out anymore.”

    Right Next To The Chocolate Cows

    | Milledgeville, GA, USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces

    (My brother, my nephew, and I are on a short road trip. I spot a farm, which I point out to my nephew.)

    Me: “Hey, look! Cows. It’s a cow farm. It has the milk-towers and everything.”

    Brother: “It’s called a dairy.”

    Nephew: “A dairy. Then there is lactose in those towers.”

    Me: “… Yeah.”

    Nephew: “Except that maybe those are the lactose-free cows that make lactose-free milk.”

    After The Terrible Twos Come The Flirty Threes

    | Mt. Juliet, TN, USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces

    (My mother and stepfather have my niece [8 months] and nephews [2½  and 5] one day and they want to go out to eat, so they take the kids to one of their favorite restaurants. While the older boy is playing with his little sister, the 2½-year-old is smitten with their waitress, a tall, pretty blonde girl in her late teens.)

    Waitress: “Oh, aren’t you just a little sweetie!”

    Nephew: “Thanks, and you’re a nice and pretty lady.”

    Waitress: “Why, thank you! I bet you say that to all the girls.”

    Nephew: “Nope, just you right now.”

    Mother: “Aw, [Nephew], are you flirting with her?”

    Nephew: “Yeah, Nana…”

    (The waitress is giggling the whole time she’s finishing their order and then heads over to the cook to put it in. When he asks what she’s laughing about, she tells him about my nephew. He gets a look of disbelief on his face.)

    Cook: *loud enough for the restaurant to hear* “Wow, little man thinks he knows what he’s talking about, huh? There’s no way he know what that means!”

    Mom: “Did you hear that? Tell him you know what flirting is!”

    Nephew: “Mind your own d*** business!”

    (The restaurant was silent for about three seconds before the whole place erupted in laughter. After they finish their meal and tip and are walking out, my nephew decides he’s not done…)

    Nephew: “Call me!”

    Older Nephew: “On what phone?! Nana’s never going to let you give out her number!”

    (They laughed again and told my mom and stepdad they’re welcome back with the kids at any time, as the kids were otherwise well behaved and they could use a laugh every now and again.)

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