Category: Nephews & Nieces

A Knuckle Sandwich

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Nephews & Nieces, Siblings, Spouses & Partners

(My wife and I have my family over and we are discussing how my young niece and nephew recently lost some teeth.)

Wife: “Oh, [Niece], you’ve lost one of your teeth!”

Niece: *big proud grin*

My Brother: “Yeah, it happened not long ago. [Nephew] had one come out, too. I accidentally hit in him with my elbow and it dropped out.”

Nephew: “Yeah, when my teeth come out, it’s always because of sandwiches or violence!

What A Total Witch

| IA, USA | Nephews & Nieces

(My niece has recently become obsessed with the Harry Potter series, and during a movie marathon has just had a fan-girl moment where she was upset at one of the Weasley twins having a girlfriend.)

Niece: “That witch!”

Me: “Pun not intended?”

Niece: *doubles over laughing*

A Different Snort Of Training

| LA, USA | Nephews & Nieces

(My mom is babysitting my five-year-old nephew. They have baked cookies. I am visiting so my mom decided to take a nap in the living room while I entertain my nephew at the kitchen table. It is around four pm.)

Nephew: “I think I’ll have one more cookie.”

(He reaches for the cookie, but just before his hand touches it my mom snorts in her sleep.)

Nephew: *jerks his hand away from cookies* “Okay, I’ll wait till after supper.”

(I started laughing so much I woke my mom, who let him have the cookie.)

Tolerance: The Next Generation

| Wellington, New Zealand | Children, Nephews & Nieces

(My eight-year-old daughter and niece are leafing through a catalogue of birthday cakes, when I overhear this conversation.)

Niece: “I really like this cake. Why does it have to be in the ‘boys’ section?”

Daughter: “Yeah. Just because it has a picture of a train doesn’t mean it should be for a boy. I’m a girl and I like trains.”

Niece: “Me, too! It’s like all the pink cakes for girls, with dolls and princesses on them. Why does pink have to be for girls and blue for boys?”

Daughter: “I know; it’s annoying!”

Niece: “It’s like one of my friends. He’s a boy, but he likes pink, and he has long hair. Sometimes he even wears dresses!”

Daughter: “That’s so cool! I like it when people do what they want, instead of what grown ups tell them to do. I mean, why did they make up those rules anyway? I don’t see why boys shouldn’t be allowed to wear dresses!”

Niece: “I know!”

(Later, they are playing with my smartphone and looking at the different emoticons. Some of them represent couples, or parents with a young child.)

Niece: “Hey, look. Why do they have a picture of a mummy and a daddy with a baby, but not two mummies, or two daddies?”

Daughter: “Yeah, that’s annoying. [My Name] says that there are lots of different kinds of families, but the people who drew these pictures don’t understand that.” *pause* “No wait, look! They have a picture of two boys holding hands, and two girls, and a boy and a girl.”

Niece: “Yay! That’s cool. Hey, look at that picture of a dog. It’s so cute…” *keeps scrolling through the emoticons*

(Both of them are also budding environmentalists, and I’ve overheard them talking about how they should send letters to the government to ‘make better rules to protect Hector dolphins.’ They make their mothers so proud.)

A Marrying Together Of Ideas

| USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces

(My 15-year-old niece and I are discussing gay marriage.)

Me: You know, you probably won’t believe this, but when you and [Cousin] were little, you used to put a veil on your Patrick doll and marry him to your Spongebob doll.

Niece: *laughing* “Really?”

Me: “Oh, yes. A Teletubby was usually the preacher.”

Niece: “Well, I guess there’s nothing wrong with Spongebob and Patrick getting married if they want to.”

Me: *after a brief pause* “Actually, there are probably about a million things wrong with Spongebob and Patrick getting married. It’s just that the fact that they are both boys isn’t one of those things.”

(And then we both laughed until we almost were sick.)

This Snack Will Cost You An Arm And A Leg

| WA, USA | Nephews & Nieces

(This interaction is between my three-year-old nephew and my sister (his mom).)

Nephew: “Mama, I want something to eat. Will you get me something?”

Mom: “You have feet and legs, don’t you?”

Nephew: *starts to cry* “But I don’t want to eat them!”


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