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    Category: Nephews & Nieces

    A Monstrous Turn Of Events

    | ON, Canada | Nephews & Nieces

    (My three-year-old nephew and his mom are talking.)

    Nephew: “Mummy, you know that you are so beautiful?”

    Mom: “Thanks, [Nephew]!”

    Nephew: “Yeah, you don’t look like a monster.”

    Bobbing Her Mouth Up And Down

    | Australia | Nephews & Nieces, Siblings

    (My nieces and I are discussing naming inanimate objects while at a family picnic. My sister is listening but doesn’t have a filter between her brain and mouth. My nieces are adults and are fed up with being embarrassed in public by their mother.)

    Me: “My car is called Lucy.”

    Sister: *loudly* “Hahaha, my vibrator is called Bob.”

    Me: “Ewww, that’s sick.”

    Sister: *again, loudly* “What, you have a problem with me having and naming a vibrator? BAHAHAHA!”

    Me: “No, I have no problem with that, just the fact that you named it after Dad.”

    Sister: “BAHAH… What do you mean, named it after Dad? His name is Robert.”

    Me: “And he is also known as what?”

    Sister: “Oh… s**t.” *goes red, shuts up, and walks off*

    Niece: “BAHAHA. Finally, someone got her to shut up.”

    Uncle Is Cooler Than Kobol

    | IL, USA | Nephews & Nieces

    (I am living in a room of my brother’s house, and in return, I nanny my nephew, who is about two years old. One night, I’m chatting as everyone is getting ready for bed, and my nephew drops his toothbrush. He looks down and quite clearly says:)

    Nephew: “Frack!”

    (Both my brother and his wife instantly turn to stare at me.)

    Me: “At least I’m not swearing!”

    Tell Him Until He’s Blue In The Face

    | Tulalip, WA, USA | Nephews & Nieces, Parents & Guardians

    Nephew: “Hey, [My Name], what’s that moldy cheese you like called?”

    Me: *not hearing him right* “What?”

    Nephew: “What’s that blue cheese you like called?”

    Me: “What’s that blue cheese I like called?”

    Mom: “Is it called ‘blue cheese’?”

    A Not So Friendly Realization

    Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Nephews & Nieces, Siblings

    (My niece is having a tantrum at her mother, my sister.)

    Niece: *shrieking* “You’re so mean! You’re not my friend!”

    Sister: *serenely* “That’s right. I’m your mother.”

    Netflix And Chill

    | Tallahassee, FL, USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces

    (My mom and I have always been very close and open about our respective relationships; her with my father and me with my longtime partner. We will talk about this in front of my teen-aged niece to try and encourage her to be open, as well. Today, we happen to be talking about our preferred positions for intimacy.)

    Mom: “I like to be on top. I like to be in control.”

    Me: “Eh, I like to be on the bottom. I prefer to lay back and let him do all the work.”

    Niece: “I like to watch Netflix.”

    (We cracked up at both the great timing and innocence of the comment.)

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