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    Category: Nephews & Nieces

    Doctor Who And The Planet Of The Ironies

    | Christchurch, New Zealand | Children, Nephews & Nieces, Theme Of The Month

    (The family has gathered to watch the ‘Doctor Who’ Christmas special. The alien antagonists are call ‘The Silence.’ My nephew, who has been chatting and noisily rummaging in the toybox throughout, speaks up:)

    Nephew: “What on Earth is silence?”

    (We couldn’t agree more!)

    An Ocean Of Imagination

    | Milan, Italy | In-Laws, Nephews & Nieces, Siblings

    (Previously, my sister had crafted a story about an octopus living under the house.)

    Niece: “Where is aunty?”

    Sister: “She is with the octopus.”

    (After a discussion where my niece wants to see the octopus, but my sister says that you can only see him if he invites you.)

    Niece: “Octopuses aren’t real!”

    Sister: “They are real! Go and ask your dad.”

    Niece: *asks my brother* “Are octopuses real?”

    Brother: *slight pause* “It’s octopi, and yes.”

    Niece: *flabbergasted* “But…”

    (Later, my sister-in-law tells my sister what happens next…)

    Niece: “Octopuses are real?”

    Sister-In-Law: “Yes.”

    Niece: “Even the pretend ones?”

    Don’t Discount His Ambition

    | Tulalip, WA, USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces

    (One of my nephews has certain peculiar ways of thinking and reacting that have made some family members question whether he might have a problem with his neurological development. One day, I show him a music video I made using video game footage and an upbeat country song.)

    Song: “Tumble out of bed and I stumble to the kitchen; pour myself a cup of ambition…”

    (Since the game didn’t have a good shot of the main character drinking coffee, instead the clip shows them eating pancakes. Forward a couple months, and I’m playing video games with my nephew, using a mod that lets us grow a wide variety of crops. He quickly figures out how to brew coffee, and hands me some.)

    Nephew: “Here, have a cup of ambition!”

    (Any time I wonder if he’s all right in the head, I’m gonna think back on this, remembering that neither the song nor the associated clip ever directly mentioned coffee. He made that association entirely on his own.)

    This Story Is Literally Hot Air

    | UT, USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces

    (My family’s code-word for passing gas is that there are ‘barking spiders.’ My mom, my sister, and her kids are visiting my house for family dinner. We are in a back room when we hear some ‘barking spiders.’)

    Me: “Whoops, we need to clear out of this room; there are some barking spiders in here!”

    (My mom and sister get the hint, and clear out, while my four-year-old nephew wants to see the spiders.)

    Nephew: “Barking spiders? Where are your barking spiders?”

    Me: “Oh, sorry, they’re napping!”

    (A few weeks later, my sister and her family are back. We are sitting around when my nephew turns to me.)

    Nephew: “Auntie, um, can I see your barking spiders?”

    Me: *laughs hysterically* “Go ahead and look in the back room. Tell me if you find them!”

    Warped Sense Of Humor

    | IA, USA | Nephews & Nieces

    (I’ve just picked my niece up from school and arrived home. There is a warped board sitting on the floor in our garage, and I’m not sure why.)

    Niece: “There’s a warped board here. I wonder if it’s going to Warped Tour!”

    Me: “It’s probably BEEN to Warped Tour…”

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