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  • May's Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    Category: Nephews & Nieces

    The Go-To Goku Hero

    | Raleigh, NC, USA | Nephews & Nieces, Siblings

    (My sister has brought my four-year-old niece over after we haven’t seen her in a few months. My husband enjoys building plastic models, mostly Gundams, but there is a Goku figure he has built. My niece asking a ton of questions about the Gundam, then comes to the Goku.)

    Niece: “Who’s that?”

    Me: “That’s Goku.”

    Niece: “Who’s he?”

    Me: “He’s someone who saves the earth from lots of bad guys.”

    Niece: “He’s my favorite hero!”

    Sister: “You’re a nut! You didn’t even know who he was before now!”

    I Beliebe In The Devil

    | Tulalip, WA, USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces

    (My 10-year-old nephew is playing a shooter game that creates a level based on a song in your music collection. It’s a good way to introduce him to new music, so I’ve got him started on ‘The Oak Ridge Boys.’ He really wants to fight the devil that comes up every few songs to challenge you (last seen, fittingly, on an Alice Cooper song.)

    Nephew: “When does the bad guy come out?”

    Me: “It’s random. You just keep playing songs, and sometimes he’ll come out.”

    Nephew: *shortly* “Oh, here’s the bad guy!”

    Me: “Oh? Which song is it?”

    Nephew: “Justin Bieber.”

    Me: “…It would be Justin Bieber who summons up the devil from Hell.”

    (Suddenly I realize that my music collection doesn’t include any Justin Bieber.)

    Me: “Wait a minute. WHICH Justin Bieber song?”

    Nephew: “I mean the Oak Ridge Boys.”

    Me: “You can’t tell the difference between Justin Bieber and the Oak Ridge Boys?!”

    Nephew: “I’m sorry! It was an accident!”

    Me: “This is going on the Internet.”

    It Takes Two To Salsa

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Nephews & Nieces, Parents & Guardians

    (My nephew is notoriously picky when he chooses to be. He likes me to make him homemade salsa so he can taste test it. This day, I made a double batch and put it in 2 separate containers. He comes in for the taste test…)

    Nephew: *tasting container #1* “This one is too spicy. I don’t like it.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll remember that for next time.”

    (He then notices the OTHER container.)

    Nephew: “What about that one? Is it different?”

    Me: “Try it, and tell me what you think.”

    Nephew: *tastes and considers* “Perfect. I like this one. Now, don’t get them mixed up!”

    (I then look over to see his Mom trying not to laugh out loud, and typing frantically.)

    Me: “Facebook?”

    Mom: “This is too good.”

    The More Popular Animals

    | Reno, NV, USA | Nephews & Nieces, Siblings

    (My sister, her 18-month-old son, and I are walking through a local pet store to decide whether to get a fish for the house. My nephew has been talking for a while but his pronunciation still needs work.)

    Nephew: *pointing at the fish tanks excitedly* “Look! Look, Mommy! B*****s!”

    Me: *stifles laughter*

    Sister: “No! No, [Nephew], those are FISHES.”

    Nephew: “Yeah! B*****s!”

    Me: *continues to hide laughter* “Why don’t we go look at something else?”

    Sister: *shoots dirty look at me* “…Yeah.”

    (We continue on to the reptile section and [Nephew] gets excited again when he sees the frog tanks.)

    Nephew: “Mommy! Mommy! F***s! F***s!”

    Sister: “[Nephew], no! Those are FROGS! Can you say frogs?”

    Nephew: “Yeah! Look at da f***s!”

    Sister: *facepalm*

    Me: *practically on the floor with laughter*

    Sister: *turning towards the exit* “Okay, time to go.”

    Nephew: “No! No Mommy! Want f***s! Want B*****s!”

    Sister: “We’re going home now, [Nephew]. No frogs or fishes.”

    (My nephew proceeds to throw a huge fit, breaking down into tears within the first few seconds, and as we head out, managing to avoid the awkward stares of the other people, I stop laughing for a second.)

    Me: “Aw, come on, [Sister], everybody wants f***s and b*****s!”

    No Warm Feelings In Your Tummy Here

    | Wollongong, NSW, Australia | Nephews & Nieces

    (My four-year-old nephew and I are looking at some of his baby pictures.)

    Me: “You were so cute!”

    Nephew: “You loved me when I was a baby, didn’t you?”

    Me: “I’ve loved you from the very moment you were born; I was in the room when you came out of your mummy’s tummy, you know.”

    Nephew: “No! I came out of her VAGINA!”

    He Told Them All Like For Like

    | Henrietta, NY, USA | Nephews & Nieces, Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My parents, husband, and I are baby-sitting for my brother since he is about to leave for a concert. My nephew is showing my dad and my husband a series of videos on YouTube. He is barely three years old.)

    Nephew: “After Daddy leaves, let’s watch the one I like.”

    Dad: “Okay.”

    Nephew: *sternly* “But not the one I don’t like.”

    Dad: “Okay.”

    Nephew: *more sternly* “I don’t want to watch the one I don’t like.”

    Dad: “Okay…”

    Nephew: “But I do want to watch the one I do like.”

    Dad: *chuckling* “Okay, we won’t watch the one you don’t like, and we will watch the one you do like.”

    Nephew: *goes to his dad, who has been listening* “Dad? We’re not going to watch the one I don’t like.”

    Brother: *laughing* “Okay.”

    Nephew: “But we are going to watch the one I do like.”

    (Everyone can see where this is going and is starting to laugh despite my nephew’s serious face. He proceeds to go around and say the exact same thing to me, my mom, my husband, my brother’s friend, and again to my dad.)

    Brother: *joking to my dad* “He’s making sure, just in case you try to play the one he doesn’t like, that everyone knows that he told you not to.”

    (After my brother and his friend leave, my dad and nephew go to watch the videos he has given very firm instructions on.)

    Nephew: *to my mom, after the video* “Grandma? Grandpa played the one I don’t like.”

    Mom: *shocked* “What?!”

    Dad: *indignant* “Now, wait a minute. He failed to tell you that he told me to play the one he doesn’t like, and about 10 seconds in I asked him if it was the one he didn’t like, and he said yes and to change it to the one he did like.”

    (We all laugh.)

    Nephew: *points at my dad* “Now, don’t do it again!”

    Dad: “What?!”

    (He’s a stubborn little guy!)


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