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    Category: In-Laws

    If Only You Could Hear Yourself

    | MI, USA | In-Laws, Siblings

    (Several family members in my brother-in-law’s family are deaf. They have an interpreter at the wedding and a ‘deaf table’ at the reception for those that are comfortable signing.)

    Me: “So, [Brother-In-Law], the interpreter – can she hear?”

    Brother-In-Law: “Can she hear?”

    Me: “Yes, can she—” *face palms* “I’m never going to live this down, am I?”

    Brother-In-Law: “Never!”

    The In-Laws Of Notre Dame

    | MI, USA | In-Laws

    (I’ve broken my ankle after falling off a ladder at my in-laws’ house. They drive me to the hospital and call my husband, who is in another state on business. We arrive at the ER and my father-in-law carries me like a baby through the parking lot. I think this is a selfless and sweet gesture, in the absence of my younger, more able-bodied husband, when suddenly he lifts me above his head and sprints to the doors.)

    Father-In-Law: “SANCTUARY! SAAAAAANCTUARY! SANCTUARY!”

    Mother-In-Law: “Slow down, Quasi!”

    (The nurses at the front were barely able to ask us questions because they were laughing so hard! My nickname at the hospital was Esmeralda.)

    Trash Talking

    | McKinney, TX, USA | In-Laws, Parents & Guardians, Spouses & Partners

    (I’ve returned home from work. My wife and mother-in-law are in the kitchen.)

    Wife: “Thank goodness you’re home. The trash has needed to be emptied since morning.”

    Me: “I’m so sorry to hear that. How are you feeling? Is everything okay?”

    Wife: *confused* “Huh? What are you talking about?”

    Me: “Your arms and legs. They must be broken if you couldn’t take out the trash yourself. Are you okay?”

    (My mother-in-law grabs the counter to hold herself up while laughing.)

    Wife: *pausing* “Okay, I deserve that one.”

    Not Breathing A Sigh Of Relief

    | Maplewood, NJ, USA | Children, In-Laws, Siblings, Sons & Daughters

    (We are visiting my brother’s family. My year-old niece is being fussy and refusing to eat.)

    Me: *playfully* “Don’t make us pinch your nose!”

    Sister-In-Law: *gives me a look*

    Me: “So she’ll open her mouth!”

    Sister-In-Law: “I’m not leaving YOU alone with the baby!”

    Can’t Specify Where The Specs Are

    | MT, USA | In-Laws

    (It has snowed a lot the past few days, and it is still snowing. My father-in-law has just come inside from checking on the rabbits and is looking perplexed. My mother-in-law is in the living room putting away the last of the Christmas decorations.)

    Father-In-Law: “I lost my glasses.”

    Mother-In-Law: “How do you do that? You did that last week shoveling snow!”

    Father-In-Law: “Yeah, but I found them!”

    Mother-In-Law: “Well… did you have them on when you went outside?”

    Father-In-Law: “Yeah, but I can’t for the life of me figure out where I took them off.”

    (Just a few minutes later, he holds up a package of ramen for my hungry niece.)

    Father-In-Law: “Here’s the ramen.”

    Mother-In-Law: “Oh, you found your glasses!”

    Father-In-Law: *reaching up, taking off the glasses, and looking at them, absolutely confused* “Huh, I have no idea where I got these…”


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