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    Category: In-Laws

    Putting The Kin In Anakin

    | Denver, CO, USA | In-Laws, Parents & Guardians, Theme Of The Month

    (It is my wedding. My husband and I are huge Star Wars fans and we walked down the aisle as Han and Leia. After the ceremony, my dad walks up to my husband.)

    Dad: “[Husband], I am your father… in-law.”

    Pet Hate

    | USA | In-Laws, Nephews & Nieces, Siblings

    (My brother and his family are preparing to move for his new job. His two boys are five and almost two.)

    Nephew: “Mom, are we keeping the bird cage?”

    Sister-In-Law: “Yes, why?”

    Nephew: “Good, because if I catch a bird, it can be our other pet. Then we can have two pets.”

    Sister-In-Law: “Two pets? What other pet do we have?”

    Nephew: “[Younger Brother].”

    The Future Is Coming On Just Fine

    | Fort Wayne, IN, USA | In-Laws, Nephews & Nieces, Siblings

    (I’m visiting my brother, his wife, and three kids one afternoon. The oldest is already off to school so I am playing with the two youngest. I started to hum a song to myself and my niece giggles.)

    Niece: “Do you want to hear my favorite song?”

    Me: “Ya. How does it go? Maybe I can sing along too.”

    Niece: *yelling to her mother* “MOMMY! CAN YOU PLAY MY HAPPY SONG?”

    (My sister-in-law proceeds to bring up YouTube on their Xbox that we had been using to watch shows previously and searches for ‘Gorillaz.’)

    Me: *a little shocked looking at my niece* “You like this song too? ”

    Niece: *sings along to the chorus of ‘Clint Eastwood’* “I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad. I got sunshine in a bag…”

    Me: *recites the rap lyrics*

    Sister-In-Law: *shouts from the other room* “Next [Nephew] can watch his video or he will get fussy!”

    (His favorite video… ‘Deadmau5 Gerard Way,’ ‘Professional Griefers!’ I LOVE these kids!)

    Are You (Pea)Nuts?!

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Children, In-Laws, Sons & Daughters

    (My niece is a toddler and has just been diagnosed with a peanut allergy. It’s her birthday party and even though my sister specifically warned everyone about the allergy, her in-laws still brought peanuts to eat.)

    Sister: *to her father-in-law* “Please do not eat those anywhere near [Niece]. Do not go near her with them.”

    Father-In-Law: “Yeah, I won’t.”

    (A bit later from across the yard, she sees him grabbing a handful of peanuts, shoving them in his mouth to eat. My niece toddles by.)

    Father-In-Law: *grabs niece* “Give Grandpa a kiss.”

    Sister: *screams* “STOP!”

    (Her husband is closer and is able to grab my niece out of the father-in-law’s hands.)

    Husband: “What are you doing!? Are you trying to kill [Niece]!”

    Father-In-Law:  ”I just wanted a kiss.”

    Husband: “You’ve got a mouth full of peanuts, bits on your lips, and full peanuts in your f****** beard. [Sister] told you she was allergic to peanuts. You could have f****** killed her!”

    Father-In-Law:  ”I thought she was joking!”

    Callers In The Night

    , | ON, Canada | In-Laws, Spouses & Partners

    (My husband is from London, England and has moved over to Canada to start a new life with me. Among the many things to sort out, we’re also trying to transfer the money in his London bank account to our joint one here in Canada. My husband is legally blind and can’t read the websites properly, so I’m attempting to make an e-transfer of his money to our account from the internet.)

    Me: *clicking away* “So I need the sort code, but I don’t know what that is and it’s saying that the account number I’m using isn’t valid. Do you know what a sort code is?”

    Husband: “No.”

    Me: “Hmm, all right. I’ll try clicking on the help section.”

    (Much to my surprise, the help function acts like a little speech bubble that points to links I need to click and gives me information on each step. I’m genuinely pleased by this and follow the steps until I see something that makes me freeze.)

    Me: “Uh oh… OH, S***!”

    Husband: “What’s wrong?”

    Me: “Honey, trying to set up a new recipient involves the company CALLING THE PHONE NUMBER ATTACHED TO THE ACCOUNT for verification!”

    (The phone number in question? My father-in-law’s house in London! I was doing this at 9:00 at night and London is five hours ahead of us. My father-in-law was woken up by two needless phone calls at two in the morning! Needless to say, my husband and I felt really bad and I questioned this particular bank’s strategy for security.)


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