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    Category: In-Laws

    A Weighty Statement

    | Romania | In-Laws, Parents & Guardians, Spouses & Partners

    (Me, my husband, his mother, and our eight-year-old son are sitting at a table dining. Our son is unhappy about losing a toy and we try to comfort him in a pretty traditional way…)

    Mother-In-Law: “Don’t be sad, Sometimes losing things means they made space for something else in your life…”

    Husband: “Yes, and losing is sometimes good, and it makes you happy!”

    Me: “For instance, when you lose some weight!”

    Mother-In-Law: *not listening* “…and maybe someone else finds what you lost and is happy to have it.”

    (Everyone burst out laughing leaving my mother-in-law confused.)

    Your Death Will Be Ornamental

    | CA, USA | In-Laws

    (My wife did some volunteering for the horticulture department at the local college, and received a few trees, most of them ornamental. My mother-in-law, whom we live with, comes knocking at our door.)

    Mother-In-Law: “What are these?” *holds up a bitten into fruit*

    Me: “An ornamental pear, I think.”

    Mother-In-Law: ”Is it edible?” *takes another bite*

    Me: “It’s… ornamental.”

    Mother-In-Law: ”But is it edible?”

    Me: “I guess, but I’m not even sure that’s what it is.”

    Mother-In-Law: ”Well, they sure are tasty! Look it up on your computer and tell me if I’m going to die tonight!” *takes another bite and walks off*

    Putting The Kin In Anakin

    | Denver, CO, USA | In-Laws, Parents & Guardians, Theme Of The Month

    (It is my wedding. My husband and I are huge Star Wars fans and we walked down the aisle as Han and Leia. After the ceremony, my dad walks up to my husband.)

    Dad: “[Husband], I am your father… in-law.”

    Pet Hate

    | USA | In-Laws, Nephews & Nieces, Siblings

    (My brother and his family are preparing to move for his new job. His two boys are five and almost two.)

    Nephew: “Mom, are we keeping the bird cage?”

    Sister-In-Law: “Yes, why?”

    Nephew: “Good, because if I catch a bird, it can be our other pet. Then we can have two pets.”

    Sister-In-Law: “Two pets? What other pet do we have?”

    Nephew: “[Younger Brother].”

    The Future Is Coming On Just Fine

    | Fort Wayne, IN, USA | In-Laws, Nephews & Nieces, Siblings

    (I’m visiting my brother, his wife, and three kids one afternoon. The oldest is already off to school so I am playing with the two youngest. I started to hum a song to myself and my niece giggles.)

    Niece: “Do you want to hear my favorite song?”

    Me: “Ya. How does it go? Maybe I can sing along too.”

    Niece: *yelling to her mother* “MOMMY! CAN YOU PLAY MY HAPPY SONG?”

    (My sister-in-law proceeds to bring up YouTube on their Xbox that we had been using to watch shows previously and searches for ‘Gorillaz.’)

    Me: *a little shocked looking at my niece* “You like this song too? ”

    Niece: *sings along to the chorus of ‘Clint Eastwood’* “I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad. I got sunshine in a bag…”

    Me: *recites the rap lyrics*

    Sister-In-Law: *shouts from the other room* “Next [Nephew] can watch his video or he will get fussy!”

    (His favorite video… ‘Deadmau5 Gerard Way,’ ‘Professional Griefers!’ I LOVE these kids!)


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