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    Category: In-Laws

    Jesus Of Sherwood

    | USA | In-Laws, Siblings, Theme Of The Month

    (My sister and I are Christian; my brother-in-law is not. We’re hanging out, reading, with Christmas music on in the background. A recording of Handel’s Messiah comes on.)

    Brother-In-Law: “Can you explain something? Why is he the Prince of Thieves?”

    Sister & Me: “Peace! Prince of Peace!”

    Brother-In-Law: “Oh! That makes so much more sense!”

    Next Year Just Play It By Ear

    | NY, USA | In-Laws, Spouses & Partners, Theme Of The Month

    (I have this conversation with my mother-in-law the first summer I am dating her son, my future husband. My husband is there to hear this conversation.)

    Mother-In-Law: *sees my earrings* “Oh, I love those!”

    Me: “Thanks! A lady I work with makes them.”

    Mother-In-Law: “I love big earrings!”

    Me: “Oh, really? I never see you wear them.”

    Mother-In-Law: “Yeah, I just don’t usually get around to putting them on so people don’t think I like them. I love big earrings like that, but people always assume I don’t because I don’t wear them.”

    (It sounds to me like she’s upset people don’t know that about her, so I put that in my mental vault to bring out for gifts at Christmas time. I order her a few pairs of the same exact kind of earring I was wearing that day with different charms of things that she likes instead.)

    Mother-In-Law: *as she opens them* “Oh, they’re beautiful! I love them! I never get earrings like this!”

    Me: “I know. I remembered our conversation about it where you said no one knew that about you.”

    (Fast-forward to the first year my husband and I are married. I am picking out Christmas gifts again.)

    Me: “I’m thinking of getting your mom some more earrings this year, although I’ve never seen her wear the last ones I got her.”

    Husband: *makes a doubtful face*

    Me: “What?” *moment of realization* “She didn’t like them, did she?”

    Husband: “…no.”

    Me: “Why not? She loved the ones I had.”

    Husband: “She said they were too big.”

    Me: “What?! They were the same size as the ones she liked of mine!”

    Husband: *sigh* “I know…”

    (I gave up trying for personalized things for her that year, since she was so back-and-forth with what she said she liked. Sometimes you can’t win!)

    An Ocean Of Imagination

    | Milan, Italy | In-Laws, Nephews & Nieces, Siblings

    (Previously, my sister had crafted a story about an octopus living under the house.)

    Niece: “Where is aunty?”

    Sister: “She is with the octopus.”

    (After a discussion where my niece wants to see the octopus, but my sister says that you can only see him if he invites you.)

    Niece: “Octopuses aren’t real!”

    Sister: “They are real! Go and ask your dad.”

    Niece: *asks my brother* “Are octopuses real?”

    Brother: *slight pause* “It’s octopi, and yes.”

    Niece: *flabbergasted* “But…”

    (Later, my sister-in-law tells my sister what happens next…)

    Niece: “Octopuses are real?”

    Sister-In-Law: “Yes.”

    Niece: “Even the pretend ones?”

    Allergic To The Truth

    | Australia | Children, In-Laws

    (My brother-in-law and I are having a conversation with our mother-in-law. The subject has turned to allergies.)

    Mother-In-Law: “I don’t believe in peanut allergies. I raised nine children and they all ate peanuts. So, I don’t think it’s true.”

    Me: “That just means that your children didn’t have allergies. Lots of children have them.”

    Mother-In-Law: “No, allergies don’t exist. We never heard of allergies until recently.

    What happened to the children who had allergies back then?”

    Brother-In-Law: “They died.”

    Mother-In-Law: “That can’t be true. Kids didn’t just die.”

    Me: “My mother had a couple of friends who just suddenly died when she was young. She was told ‘they were too good to live.’”

    Mother-In-Law: “Oh! I had a friend who suddenly died…”

    (Glad we set her straight! Turned out my own daughter has a peanut allergy.)

    Passed Parenting With Flying Natural Colors

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | In-Laws, Parents & Guardians

    (We are at my mother-in-law’s, when my 18-month-old daughter runs in. Her cheeks are rosy; her hair is gorgeous blonde curls.)

    Mother-In-Law: *to my daughter* “Oh, look at you. You are gorgeous. Definitely don’t need any make up on that beautiful face. Don’t need to change anything.”

    (My daughter giggles and runs back outside.)

    Mother-In-Law: *to me* “You need to wash her hair with Borax.”

    Me: “Borax? What for?”

    Mother-In-Law: “Her hair is going dark; Borax will bleach it back to blonde.”

    Me: “Yep, I am so going to put something toxic on her hair to keep it from going to its natural colour.”

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