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    Category: Children

    Unsettling Business

    | Palo Alto, CA, USA | Children, Parents & Guardians

    (I am three years old. My mother has just come back from a business trip. My father warns her that I did not take her absence well. She walks into the living room to find Barbie with her arms and legs missing, stuck inside a wooden toy cabin.)

    Mom: “What is this?”

    Me: “It’s a mommy who can’t leave!”

    (She didn’t go on business trips for a long time after that.)

    Generation Pokémon X And Y

    | WI, USA | Children, In-Laws, Nephews & Nieces

    (I am visiting with my family, including my brother, his wife, and their kids, who live in another state. As a result, I see them very rarely. At this time, my nephew is a preteen and loves video games. I also play video games, despite being in my twenties.)

    Nephew: *sees me with my 3DS* “Hey, what are you playing?”

    Me: “Pokémon Y.”

    Nephew: “Oh, that’s cool! I don’t have a 3DS yet, so I don’t have that one yet.”

    Me: “Well, have you seen a lot about it?”

    Nephew: “Yeah, I know all about it. What’s your favorite Pokémon?”

    Me: “Arcanine, but I love Flying types! What’s yours?”

    (This conversation goes on for a while, each of us talking in depth about details and mechanics of the game, while my sister-in-law, his mother, listens in.)

    Sister-In-Law: “I swear, it’s like you two are talking another language!”

    Me: “I know! That’s what makes me the fun uncle!”

    Raised With Love(craft)

    | CA, USA | Children, Friends, Sons & Daughters

    (My son is three years old and when I ask if he can say something new, he always gives it a try even if he mangles it horribly. Some friends are over playing the game ‘King of Tokyo’ and he is wandering around the table being his usual self.)

    Son: *points at the Kraken card* “What’s that?”

    Me: *thinking the Kraken looks a bit like Cthulhu* “That’s Cthulhu. Can you say ‘Cthulhu?’”

    Son: “Nope!” *wanders off*

    Friend: “That’s probably a good thing…”

    Fathering Warm Ideas

    | Antwerpen, Belgium | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (I just informed my 12-year-old son that the father of one of his friends died.)

    Son: “Poor [Friend]. I would give her my dad in a heartbeat but I need him myself so much.”

    Playing A Crying Game

    | CA, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (Overheard while walking through a large, well known department store:)

    Child: *having a tantrum in the shopping cart*

    Mother: “[Child], stop crying right now!!”

    Child: *in between screams* “but… I… don’t want to stop crying!”

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