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    Category: Children

    Can’t Mask The Truth From Children

    | MI, USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces, Spouses & Partners

    (My fiancé had an extremely abusive relationship before me, one that took her several years of therapy to recover from. Part of her previous partner’s abuse involved breaking her cheek bone and part of her jaw, and while she has had reconstructive surgery, she still has some very heavy scarring and prefers to wear a mask out in public. We are visiting relatives on my side for a family dinner, many of whom have not seen her without the mask. This is an interaction between my five-year-old niece and her.)

    Niece: *to my fiancé* “Why do you always wear that mask?”

    Fiancé: *tenses up* “Because I’m ugly.”

    Niece: “I bet you’re not!”

    Fiancé: “Yes, I am.”

    Niece: “Never! See?”

    (My niece climbs a chair and puts a dirty flower that she’s picked from the garden in her hair.)

    Niece: “All pretty girls need a flower!”

    (At that point my fiancé breaks down and gives a few happy sobs while holding her. Later…)

    Fiancé: “Have I ever told you how awesome your family is?”

    Me: “You could stand to mention it more.”

    (She playfully punched me and then gave me a hug before taking off her mask. For the first time she attended a family dinner without wearing it at all. Goes to show you that sometimes kids know what you need better than you do!)

    Go Put It On The Settee (Alpha Five)

    | Jerusalem, Israel | Children, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

    (My three-year-old daughter is helping me put together the bag of things my wife will need at the hospital when she gives birth. In Hebrew, the word ‘kahn’ means ‘here.’)

    Me: *handing my daughter a pair of socks* “Go put this on the dining room table.”

    Daughter: “Where should I put it? Kahn? Or kahn?”

    Me & Wife: *simultaneously* “Kaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhn!”

    Victimising Your Sibling

    | OH, USA | Children, Grandchildren

    (After drawing a bath for my grandsons, I call out:)

    Me: “Okay, first victim!”

    (Without knowing to what I was referring, the younger boy says:)

    Younger Grandson: “That would be [Older Grandson]!”

    Want To See The C

    | London, England, UK | Children, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

    (I am about six years old, and on the TV is one of those medical programs that show you patients and their diseases and problems. At one point they deal with a pregnant woman who seems to be having a problem with her baby. Around at this age I was curious about babies. Although I already know the Caesarean section I want to see how it is done, so I am watching the program with my mom.)

    Mom: “Ugh, I don’t want you to see a childbirth. I am changing the channels for you.”

    Me: “No, mommy! I wanna see them cut the mommy’s belly open and take the baby out!”


    (Because it was something that aired on TV during the day, I never got to see them actually take the baby out. Needless to say, I was disappointed!)

    Doesn’t Want To Fall Behind At The Zoo

    | CA, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (I work at a zoo and overhear this exchange as I pass by a family.)

    Mom: “What kinds of animals do you think we’ll see today?”

    Young Son: *excitedly* “Lions, and tigers, and bears, and everything with a butt!”

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