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    Category: Children

    Got A Good Reading On You

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (It’s not long after my son’s 10th birthday; part of his gift was a sports jersey. He is wearing it when we go to the Easter agricultural show. A teenage boy running past, taps him on the shoulder.)

    Teen: “Hi, [Son].” *runs off*

    Son: *amazed* “Mum, that boy knew my name. I don’t know him. How did he know my name? Can he read minds?”

    Me: “No, but he can read.”

    Son: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “Your name is on the back of your jersey.”

    Son: *sheepishly* “Oh, yeah. I forgot.”

    Trying To Make You Die Laughing

    | Crestview, FL, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (My three-year-old daughter comes skipping up to me out of the blue.)

    Daughter: “I’m going to miss you when you die very soon…”

    A People Person

    | BC, Canada | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (I have just strapped my three-year-old daughter into her car seat in the back of the car.)

    Me: “Oooh, now you’re trapped, so I can eat you!”

    (I pretend to try and chew on her head making ‘nom, nom’ noises.)

    Daughter: “No, Mummy, you can’t eat me. I’m a people.”

    Me: “I can’t?’”

    Daughter: “No, you can only eat food, and I’m NOT a food. I’m a people.”

    Me: “You’re a people?”

    Daughter: “Yes, so you can’t eat me.”

    Me: “Okay, then…”

    Bitten By The Hand That Feeds You

    | UT, USA | Children, Parents & Guardians

    (I’m cuddling my seven-month-old son as part of his bedtime routine. For weeks, he used to wake up ready to play at 3 am, so I used to tell him I was going to bite his bum if he didn’t go back to sleep.)

    Me: “Good night. Sleep tight. Don’t let the bedbugs bite, and I won’t bite your bum tonight if you do what’s right. If you don’t do what’s right, I’ll bite!”

    Might Have A Bone Of Contention With That

    | Milwaukee, WI, USA | Children, Siblings

    Little Sister: “I know the name of most of the bones in the body, and by most, I mean 15.”

    Me: “Good jo— Wait, aren’t there 206 bones in the body?”

    Little Sister: “Yep!”


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