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    Category: Children

    Reading You Your Rights

    | Thurmont, MD, USA | Children, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

    (I am five years old. My parents, my little brother, and I are on our way home after a day out.)

    Me: “I’m hungry! Mom, can stop somewhere?”

    Mom: “No, [My Name]. Besides, there isn’t anywhere out here to eat!”

    Me: “Yes, there is! That sign says ‘restaurant!’”

    Mom: “The jig is up! The kid can read!”

    This Argument Turned Ugly

    | Prince George, BC, Canada | Children, Cousins, Parents & Guardians

    (We’re all at my grandparent’s house for a birthday party. My mom has just told my cousin, who is about seven at the time, to do something he doesn’t want to do.)

    Cousin: *huffily* “You’re not my mom! Why do I have to listen to you?”

    Mom: *jokingly, but making a somewhat scary face at the same time* “Because I’m bigger, meaner, and uglier than you are!”

    (My cousin grapples with this for a minute before coming up with a retort.)

    Cousin: “You are not uglier than me!”

    Getting Red About The Pink

    | USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces

    (My four-year-old nephew and six-year-old niece want ice cream.)

    Me: “Okay, kids! One for you and one for you.”

    Nephew: *annoyed* “Why did you bring me this?!”

    Niece: “It’s yummy! Try it! Thank you Uncle [My Name]!”

    Nephew: “No, it’s pink!”

    Me: “What’s the problem with pink? It’s strawberry flavor. You like them.”

    Nephew: *more annoyed* “Pink color is for girls! Boys eat brown color and white color! I’ll turn to a girl if I eat this!”

    Me: “That’s not true! I eat pink—”

    Niece: *angry* “I EAT ALL THE COLORS! DID YOU SEE ME TURNING INTO PONIES?! NO, SO EAT IT RIGHT NOW!”

    (I was too busy laughing my guts off to stop him from dumping the ice cream on her dress.)

    A Babe In The Woods

    | Italy | Children, Parents & Guardians, Siblings, Theme Of The Month

    (I am about five years old, and I tell my sister of three years that she had been found in the woods outside our house and that she is not actually my real sister. Fast forward two years later:)

    Mom: “Stop throwing tantrums, start behaving, and follow your sister’s example!”

    Little Sister: “I know she is not my sister! She told me that I was found outside in the woods. You are not my real mom!”

    (I had completely forgotten about that, but my sister had been believing that she was found in the woods for two years!)

    Crazy Logic

    | Antwerp, Belgium | Children, Nephews & Nieces

    (My 12-year-old nephew and I are enjoying a sunny spring day. After some wild play and running around, he is content sitting next to me.)

    Nephew: “Dad forgot to say to make you crazy this morning. I don’t know why he says so but each time we come to you, he does. But don’t worry, I won’t listen to him. It is stupid after all. If you are crazy, you cannot take us out anymore.”


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