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    Category: Children

    Kids Love A Good Poly-tickle

    | Channelview, TX, USA | Children, Siblings

    (My sister and I are discussing President Obama when my eight-year-old daughter butts in.)

    Daughter: “I don’t like the president; he’s mean. He promised to help the…” *her face is screwed up as she thinks about what she’s trying to say* “…the coal miners get jobs but they’re still all unemployed!”

    (I have a dumbfounded look on my face, as I never expected something of that nature from my daughter’s mouth. My sister, on the other hand, isn’t crazy about her niece’s response.)

    Sister: “That’s just weird that you know that, [Niece].”

    Me: “I think it’s pretty awesome that my eight-year-old is confident enough to speak her mind to adults about politics.”

    Daughter: “What’s a politic?”

    Pushing Him Along

    | Orem, UT, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters, Spouses & Partners

    (My husband is trying to teach our son how to crawl. He’s got the leg movement down, but he refuses to use his arms.)

    Husband: “Come on, son! Push! Push! You should know what that word means; it was probably the first thing you ever heard.”

    Me: “Sweetie, he was a caesarean. I never pushed.”

    Husband: “Well, no wonder he’s not getting it!”

    A Picture Of Diminishing Returns

    | Canterbury, England, UK | Children, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

    (My friend is working in the store and overhears the following:)

    Mum: *to her 6- or 7-year-old son* “No, you can’t have this.”

    Little Boy: “If I can’t have it then I’ll run away from home, and you’ll only have a photograph.”


    Little Boy: “If I send you one.”


    Little Boy: “Which I won’t!”

    Tolerance: The Next Generation

    | Wellington, New Zealand | Children, Nephews & Nieces

    (My eight-year-old daughter and niece are leafing through a catalogue of birthday cakes, when I overhear this conversation.)

    Niece: “I really like this cake. Why does it have to be in the ‘boys’ section?”

    Daughter: “Yeah. Just because it has a picture of a train doesn’t mean it should be for a boy. I’m a girl and I like trains.”

    Niece: “Me, too! It’s like all the pink cakes for girls, with dolls and princesses on them. Why does pink have to be for girls and blue for boys?”

    Daughter: “I know; it’s annoying!”

    Niece: “It’s like one of my friends. He’s a boy, but he likes pink, and he has long hair. Sometimes he even wears dresses!”

    Daughter: “That’s so cool! I like it when people do what they want, instead of what grown ups tell them to do. I mean, why did they make up those rules anyway? I don’t see why boys shouldn’t be allowed to wear dresses!”

    Niece: “I know!”

    (Later, they are playing with my smartphone and looking at the different emoticons. Some of them represent couples, or parents with a young child.)

    Niece: “Hey, look. Why do they have a picture of a mummy and a daddy with a baby, but not two mummies, or two daddies?”

    Daughter: “Yeah, that’s annoying. [My Name] says that there are lots of different kinds of families, but the people who drew these pictures don’t understand that.” *pause* “No wait, look! They have a picture of two boys holding hands, and two girls, and a boy and a girl.”

    Niece: “Yay! That’s cool. Hey, look at that picture of a dog. It’s so cute…” *keeps scrolling through the emoticons*

    (Both of them are also budding environmentalists, and I’ve overheard them talking about how they should send letters to the government to ‘make better rules to protect Hector dolphins.’ They make their mothers so proud.)

    These Attempts At Charades Are A Charade

    | Scotland, UK | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (The kids, 7 and 11, have decided that we will play charades before bedtime.)

    Daughter: “I’ve got one!”

    (She indicates two words, and the first word has two syllables. Before she can continue…)

    Me:Spongebob Squarepants!”

    (She looks crestfallen.)

    Son: “Okay, I have one, since that was so quick.”

    (He indicates two words, first word has one syllable. Immediately…)

    Wife:Star Wars.”

    (The kids stared at us in total shock. We high-fived.)

    Laugh In The Face Of Death

    | Platteville, WI, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (My fiancé and I are watching a TV show, and our year-and-a-half-old son is sitting on his lap. A main character is losing a battle to the villains, and says, ‘as long as I’m breathing, I’ll never give up!’ The villains start attacking him again, and as the camera fades away, our son waves at the TV and cheerfully says ‘bye bye!’)

    Fiancé: “That was kind of morbid.”

    Me: “I don’t think he expects [Character] to make it…”

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