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    A Monstrous Rent Bill

    | Queens, NY, USA | Children, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I’m about 5 years old, and have been having terrible nightmares. I wake up in the middle of the night, screaming.)
     
    Mom: *runs in* “What’s wrong, cookie?”
     
    Me: “The ghosts are gonna get me.”
     
    (My mom runs out of the room, and comes back with a squirt bottle with ‘Monster Juice’ written on the side. She hands it to me.)
     
    Mom: “Here. Just shoot the ghosts and monsters, and remember the most important thing.”
     
    Me: *sniffling* “What?”
     
    Mom: *states very matter-of-fact-ly* “If it don’t pay rent, it don’t live here!”
     
    (Since then, I’ve never been afraid of ghosts or monsters.)