(I’m about 5 years old, and have been having terrible nightmares. I wake up in the middle of the night, screaming.)
 
Mom: *runs in* “What’s wrong, cookie?”
 
Me: “The ghosts are gonna get me.”
 
(My mom runs out of the room, and comes back with a squirt bottle with ‘Monster Juice’ written on the side. She hands it to me.)
 
Mom: “Here. Just shoot the ghosts and monsters, and remember the most important thing.”
 
Me: *sniffling* “What?”
 
Mom: *states very matter-of-fact-ly* “If it don’t pay rent, it don’t live here!”
 
(Since then, I’ve never been afraid of ghosts or monsters.)