Tiger Tiger, Spraying Bright

| Aunts & Uncles

(A bunch of my family decide to go to the zoo. I end up with my cousin and his father in front of the tiger exhibit. It’s one of the ones that aren’t glassed off, it has a metal fence similar to chain link. When I walk up, my Uncle decides it would be a good idea to tease the tigers.)

Uncle: *makes goofy growling noises while flailing his arms*

Me: “Uh, I don’t think you should be doing that. That tiger looks pretty annoyed.”

Uncle: “I just want to get their attention so I can get a good picture. It’s fine, kids do this to them all the time, they’re used to it.”

(He continues to act like a 2 year old on espresso.)

Me: “Right. Okay, well when the tiger decides to eat you, I don’t know you, and you aren’t related to me.”

(The tiger gets tired of the annoying human, and approaches the fence. The tiger turns around, lifts up it’s tail, and sprays, covering my uncle from head to almost his knees.)

Uncle: *yelling obscenities and flailing for a new reason*

Me: *laughing* “Told you that was a bad idea!”

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