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Carfooling

| Outer Bank, NC, USA | Parents & Guardians, Popular, Siblings

(My husband and I have the pleasure of driving his bickering parents the 5.5 hours to the beach on our way to start our vacation. Knowing that traffic back home is awful Saturday afternoon, we know we’ll be driving them home for even more time on the way back (turns out it was 6.5 hours to get home). We’ve just finished packing the mini-van and his brother calls from the pool.)

Brother: “Are you guys leaving now?”

Husband: *walks to the pool, looking right and left* “[Wife] and I are leaving. You guys figure out how to get Mom and Dad home!”

(My husband then runs to the car, jumps in, and starts it.)

Sister: *laughing out loud*

Brother: *panicking* “Wait, what?!”

(My husband was only moving the car out of the carport.)

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The Butt Of The Family Joke

| Whitby, England, UK | Friends, Parents & Guardians, Popular

(I’m female and on holiday with an old friend (male), plus his mother, sister, her daughter, and the daughter’s baby. I’ve been on holiday with my friend and his mum before, but it’s the first time I’ve ever met his sister and niece. Happily, we get on well. The previous day, his mum tripped and fell on a hard floor, fortunately only bruising herself. My bedroom was next to hers and the following morning, she came in, hitched up her nightie, and asked me to apply a dressing to her hip, which I did. That evening, I’m playing a game with my friend and his sister.)

Me: “Oh, by the way, I’m definitely family now. This morning I stuck a plaster on your mum’s arse.”

(They both laughed and agreed with me.)

Where Knowledge Is Taboo

| Pwllheli, Wales, UK | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

(My family have bought a Taboo game to play on holiday. Though we’ve played it before many times, some of us still have trouble with it. Some examples:)

Mum: “We should do a practice round.”

Me: “Okay. You’re on my team.”

Mum: “Okay.” *picks a card, then very deliberately says* “Ribbons.”

Me: “…What?”

Mum: “Ribbons. Oh, wait.”

Me: “Did you just tell me the word on the card?! Seriously?!”

(Another round: my brother has the word ‘bait’ on his card and tries to explain it.)

Brother: “Okay… so, you have crabs.”

Dad: *indignantly* “You might have!”

(Another try: My dad gets the name of a famous boxer on his card.)

Dad: “Okay, he ‘floated like a butterfly and stung like a bee?'”

Brother: “Err…”

Dad: “‘Floated like a butterfly,’ come on!”

Brother: “Err… Julius Caesar!”

Me: *facepalm*

(I’m sure we’ll get the hang of it eventually.)

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