The Butt Of The Family Joke

| Whitby, England, UK | Friends, Parents & Guardians, Popular

(I’m female and on holiday with an old friend (male), plus his mother, sister, her daughter, and the daughter’s baby. I’ve been on holiday with my friend and his mum before, but it’s the first time I’ve ever met his sister and niece. Happily, we get on well. The previous day, his mum tripped and fell on a hard floor, fortunately only bruising herself. My bedroom was next to hers and the following morning, she came in, hitched up her nightie, and asked me to apply a dressing to her hip, which I did. That evening, I’m playing a game with my friend and his sister.)

Me: “Oh, by the way, I’m definitely family now. This morning I stuck a plaster on your mum’s arse.”

(They both laughed and agreed with me.)

Where Knowledge Is Taboo

| Pwllheli, Wales, UK | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

(My family have bought a Taboo game to play on holiday. Though we’ve played it before many times, some of us still have trouble with it. Some examples:)

Mum: “We should do a practice round.”

Me: “Okay. You’re on my team.”

Mum: “Okay.” *picks a card, then very deliberately says* “Ribbons.”

Me: “…What?”

Mum: “Ribbons. Oh, wait.”

Me: “Did you just tell me the word on the card?! Seriously?!”

(Another round: my brother has the word ‘bait’ on his card and tries to explain it.)

Brother: “Okay… so, you have crabs.”

Dad: *indignantly* “You might have!”

(Another try: My dad gets the name of a famous boxer on his card.)

Dad: “Okay, he ‘floated like a butterfly and stung like a bee?'”

Brother: “Err…”

Dad: “‘Floated like a butterfly,’ come on!”

Brother: “Err… Julius Caesar!”

Me: *facepalm*

(I’m sure we’ll get the hang of it eventually.)

Has Still Never Seen Swan Lake

| Portland, OR, USA | Parents & Guardians

(We were at our vacation home on a small lake. My mom didn’t always think she needed to wear her glasses.)

Mom: “It’s beautiful out there on the lake today.”

Dad: “Yeah, I’m surprised there aren’t more boaters out there.”

Mom: “I’m glad; they’d scare off the swans!”

(There was dead silence for a moment before the rest of us burst out laughing. We finally explained to my mom she was seeing ripples on the water as ‘swans.’ Now, whenever we think she needs her glasses, we ask her if she sees any swans.)

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