It’s A Very One-Sided Joke

| ID, USA | Parents & Guardians, Popular

(My husband recently had a biopsy of a lymph node in his armpit. He is a hairy guy and occasionally compares himself to Gaston since “Every last inch of me is covered with hair.” This is a part of a text conversation I have with my mom.)

Mom: “Did they shave his armpit?”

Me: “Yes.”

Mom: “Try talking him into letting you shave the other one so he doesn’t list to one side when he walks.”

(This was our favorite joke about the whole ordeal.)


Doesn’t Quite Know Your Onions

| Jerusalem, Israel | Spouses & Partners

(I went grocery shopping last night, but was unable to buy onions because the selection was terrible – soft, old, rotting, so I ask my wife, who is taking a vacation day, to buy onions while I’m at work. She is pregnant and can therefore get very scatterbrained.)

Me: *over text message* “Did you buy onions?”

Wife: “No, the onions were horrible.”

Me: “Let me guess. You went to the supermarket. The same supermarket I went to last night. The same supermarket I decided not to buy onions from.”

Wife: “…Yes. I am so stupid.”

Me: “You do this every time!”


The Art Of Conversing Without Conversing

| Australia | Parents & Guardians

(My father sends me a text message with a question. The following is the rest of the conversation:)

Me: “Yes.”

Dad: “Your mother would like me to thank you for your verbose reply.”

Me: “K.”