Gift Card Now, Entitled Brat Later

| CT, USA | Children, Holidays

(Walking back to my car after picking up a few things the day after Christmas, I overhearing the following.)

Mom: “No, if we stayed any longer you would have ended up in the toy aisle and you don’t need any more toys after yesterday.”

Bratty Girl: “BUT MOOOOM! I don’t wanna go back home. I have nothing to do there.”

Mom: “Okay, let’s go back inside and pick out gift cards.”

Me: *face-palm*

Someone Should Talk About The Purple Elephant In The Parking Lot

| NY, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

(While walking to car in parking lot.)

Dad: “Be careful. There are cars.”

Little Brother: “Obviously there are cars. What did you expect, elephants?”

Teaching Kids Is A Walking In The Park-ing Lot

| Glens Falls, NY, USA | Nephews & Nieces, Popular, Siblings

(My sister-in-law and my brother have taken my three-year-old out. Returning to the car, my brother goes over colors with my niece after she asks him what color a car was.)

Brother: “What color is that car?”

Niece: “Red.”

Brother: “Yes. What color is this one?”

Niece: “Blue.”

Brother: “Good job.” *sees truck, parked badly* “This one is douchebag.”

Niece: “Douchebag.”

(Not gonna lie, I laughed my a** off when I heard this.)

Indian, Pakistani, It’s All Greek To Her

| Chicago, IL, USA | Announcements

(I am an observer walking directly behind this conversation, which takes place outside of a gym with a pool. A mother walks out with her two daughters. The daughters are holding towels to towel off after swimming. The older daughter wraps her towel around her like a toga.)

Daughter: “Look, Mom, isn’t this toga pretty?”

Mother: *in a disgusted voice* “How can anything Indian be pretty?”

Daughter: “Mom! A toga isn’t even Indian.”

Mother: “Fine. Pakistani!”

Daughter: *jaw drops* “It’s what men wore in ANCIENT ROME AND GREECE.” *mumbling* “Why are you so ignorant and racist?”

How To Drive Parents Apart

| WI, USA | Parents & Guardians

(My parents are visiting me, and have taken me out to lunch. During lunch, my dad mentions he’s extremely tired. Given that his body doesn’t reproduce red blood cells, this is a big deal. My mom uses the restroom while we decide to wait in the car. My dad decides he’ll be driving.)

Mom: *upon seeing my dad* “What are you doing? You said you were tired.”

Dad: “I thought I would drive.”

Mom: “No! You said you were tired. Move!”

Dad: “But I wanted to drive!”

Mom: “MOVE!”

Dad: *blares on the horn and gets the attention of everyone dining on the restaurant patio*

Mom: “MOVE! It’s MY car!”

Dad: *blares on the horn again* “HELP! THIS LADY IS TRYING TO STEAL MY CAR!”

Observers: *look confused and concerned*

Mom: *death glare*

Me: *gets out of the car and starts walking home in order to avoid dying of embarrassment*

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