Star Wars: Holiday Special

| Copenhagen, Denmark | Popular, Siblings

(Christmas cookies are starting to put in an appearance in shops, leading me to sing a carol to my brother.)

Me: “Tis the season to eat cookies,

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Brought on trays by lots of Wookies,

Fa la la la la la la la la.”

Brother: “Now you’ve captured the true spirit of Christmas.”

Don’t Stew Over It

| NV, USA | Parents & Guardians

(When my mom and I are waiting in line or waiting for something to start, we play Heads Up, a phone game where you have to make the other person guess the word on the phone. The category is “food.”)

Me: “Okay, this is like soup, but it’s thicker.”

Mom: “Clam chowder!”

Me: “No, like … less specific. Like it’s got all the soup components but it’s thicker.”

Mom: “…Gumbo? I don’t know!”

Me: “Okay, pass.”

(When the game ends, we see the list of all the words she got or missed.)

Mom: “Stew?! That’s not a thicker version of soup!”

Me: “What do you mean? Whenever you made beef stew, it was always basically soup.”

Mom: “Well, yeah, but that’s only because I didn’t add any thickener to it.”

Me: “So you’re saying it’s basically a thicker version of soup?”

Rerun Fun

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Parents & Guardians

(I have started to notice my dad’s jokes are repetitive, so I deliver the punch line before he can.)

Dad: “If you heard it before, why don’t you stop me?”

Me: “It’s like finding a rerun on TV, Dad. You don’t realize it’s a rerun until you’ve seen most of it; by then, you might as well finish it.”

Dad: “Huh, so I’m a rerun?”

Me: “Sometimes reruns are fun, though.”

Driving Towards Trouble

| Adelaide, SA, Australia | Sons & Daughters

(I’m explaining to my five year old that if she ever gets in trouble she should try to find someone to help, like a police officer.)

Daughter: “What if I’m all by myself and I can’t find anyone to help me?”

Me: “Why would you be walking down the street by yourself?”

Daughter: “Because I don’t know how to drive!”

Can’t Be A (Walking) Stick In The Mud

| Kauai, HI, USA | Parents & Guardians

(I, my dad, and mom are taking a walk on a nature trail. I’m four at the time and my dad is carrying me up on his shoulders.)

Me: “Can I hold the stick?” *I am referring to a hiking stick my dad is walking with*

Dad: *hesitantly* “If you promise not to hit me with it…”

Me: “I promise!”

Dad: *hands me the hiking stick*

Me: *immediately hits him on the head with it*

Mom: *starts laughing*

Dad: “[My Name]!” *trying to keep a stern face but failing* “That’s not funny!”

Me: *innocently* “Then why are you guys laughing?”

Stripped Of Your Childhood

| Canada | Sons & Daughters

(I am walking with my friend and her two year old daughter when we pass an old closed down strip club. Her daughter runs up and tugs on the door.)

Friend: “No, don’t go in there. You’re not a stripper.”

Daughter: *curious* “Stripper?”

Friend: *looking at me* “Whoops…”

(Neither one of us could stop laughing, and I think my friend has learned to be a little more careful what she says around her daughter, who is clearly in the “repeating everything I hear” phase!)

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