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Keeping Up With The Dow Joneses

| DE, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

(I am taking a walk with some friends and their kids. The oldest is ten or eleven years old. She is looking on her mom’s smartphone, presumably at news.)

Daughter: “Mom! Look! These stocks went up $18,000 today! You should get some!”

Dad: “That’s the Dow Jones, sweetie!”

Daughter: “Yeah! You should get some!”

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A Pterrible Sound

| Powell River, BC, Canada | Popular, Sons & Daughters

(My son and I are hiking. A blue heron flies overhead, making its usual hoarse call.)

Me: “They sound like pterodactyls, don’t they?”

Son: “They definitely do.”

Me: *after a pause* “Of course, how either one of us would have any idea what a pterodactyl sounds like…”

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All Talking Bull

| Copenhagen, Denmark | Popular, Siblings

Me: “Mummy, you’re much stronger than me or [Brother]! You’re strong.” *in very fake Eastern European accent* “Like bull!”

(This becomes a running gag in the family leading to moments like…)

Me: “Mum is strong like bull!”

Brother: “Clever like bull!”

Me: “Eye like eagle.”

Brother: “No, eye like bull! Is why they call it ‘bull’s eye’!”

(And after a broken arm…)

Me: “So you’re not as strong as you usually are, which means it’s more like ‘Mummy, strong like calf.’”

(And after figuring out that there’s a second part to the joke…)

Me: “Mummy, strong like bull, smart like tractor!”

(The last was her favourite by far.)

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