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Doesn’t Have A Leg To Stand On

| Anaheim, CA, USA | Grandchildren

(My mom and grandma surprised us with a trip to Disneyland, and we got back a little while ago. My little brother has been quite a brat lately, and earlier he rolled off the bed and “hurt” his leg, even though he rolled down very slowly.)

Brother: “Mommy, my knee hurts!”

Mom: “I know, honey, but you’ll be okay.”

Grandma: “He didn’t really hurt himself, [Mom]; he’s just pretending like last time.”

(When she says last time she is referring to the last time he “hurt” himself. He pretended to not be able to move his leg so we would think it was broken, but he barely bruised it.)

Brother: “I’m not pretending!”

(By this time he was screaming, and my grandma told him to stop or we would get kicked out.)

Brother: “I’M NOT PRETENDING!”

Mom: “I have to go to the bathroom; I’ll deal with him when I get out.”

(As mom leaves, my brother sticks his tongue out and proceeds to hop on his “hurt” leg all over the room, and back in bed when he hears the door open. He blinks some tears out of his eyes and puts a pillow under his knee.)

Grandma: “[Mom], he was just hopping all over the room on his hurt leg.”

Brother: *screaming* “NO, I WASN’T! STOP LYING!”

(What my brother didn’t know was that when he was hopping around I turned in my phone camera and recorded him. I shove my phone in my mom’s hands and play the video. She begins frowning, and glares at my brother.)

Mom: “You, young man, are grounded for two weeks for faking an injury and trying to make your grandma look like a liar, and are not allowed to watch the fireworks tonight.”

(My brother got quite red in the face and lay under the comforters, and I chuckled very quietly.)

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Let That Lesson (Baby)Sit With You

| NY, USA | Children, Parents & Guardians, Popular

(I am a 16-year-old girl at the time, but am always told that I look like I’m 20. I’m babysitting for a family friend who has three children, ages five, three, and one year. I’m taking them to the pool of a hotel where I’m watching them, and I wrangle them all into the elevator, where a woman and her teenage daughter are already standing.)

Woman: *very clearly staring, whispers to her daughter about me*

Me: “Oh, this? I’m babysitting. But even if I wasn’t, my life choices are none of your business, and it’s not polite to stare! Tell that to your daughter.”

(The woman turned bright red and hurried her daughter out of the elevator!)

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Taken Steps To Ensure Understanding

, | QLD, Australia | Friends, Siblings

(My brother and his friend have to go to a sporting event in another town a few hours away from home. They drive up fairly late at night, and don’t see anyone until the next morning. In their second- or third-floor room, their toaster catches fire, so my brother runs outside and throws it off the balcony. While he’s out there, he sees the father of one of the boys who does the sport with my brother, who is a family friend.)

Family Friend: “Hey, how did you get up here?”

Brother: “Oh… there’s stairs… like in the building.”

Family Friend: “…I meant to [Town]. I understand that you would have stairs.”

(My brother proceeded to explain how they drove up late at night – and the story is now a family favourite)

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Giving Your Parents A Dressing Down

| Virginia Beach, VA, USA | Grandparents, Parents & Guardians, Popular

(My family and I are in Virginia Beach for my grandparents’ 30th anniversary. We are getting ready to go to where they are renewing their vows, and my parents are insisting that we dress up.)

Me: *as my dad is tying my tie* “Why do I have to dress up? Why can’t I just wear a nice polo and some khakis or something?”

Dad: “Because we are pretty much going to a wedding, so we need to dress up.”

Me: *reluctantly* “Okay.”

(We go out into the hall to wait for my grandparents, after a few minutes my grandpa comes out wearing EXACTLY what I described.)

Grandpa: *completely serious* “What are you guys so dressed up for?”

Me: *gives my parents an “I told you so!” look*

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The Dookie’s Of Hazard

| FL, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

(There’s no smoking in the hotel rooms, so my mom’s outside smoking a cigarette. We like to tease our mom that she’s secretly smoking pot.)

Sister #1: “Hey, [Sister #2], when Mom comes back in, ask her why she was smoking a doobie.”

Sister #2: “What?”

Me: “We promise we’re not making you say anything bad. She’ll probably either think it’s hysterical or ask us what we’re telling you.”

(Mom comes back in.)

Sister #2: “Mom, why are you smoking a dookie?”

Mom: “What?! What are you both telling her?!”

(We had to explain to her over our own hysterical laughter that that wasn’t quite what we’d told her to say.)

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