Geographically Incontinent, Part 2

| UT, USA | Siblings

(My brother is 19. This conversation occurs completely out of no where.)

Brother: “What’s the difference between being Spanish and being Mexican?”

Me: “A continent?”

My other brother: “Well played, sis.”

(from NotAlwaysRight):
Geographically Incontinent

Brace Yourself For A Bad Joke

| TX, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

(My sister has just gotten braces.)

Sister: “It’s a pain in the butt to clean braces.”

Dad: “If it’s a pain in your butt, then you are doing it way wrong.”

The Family That Slays Together, Stays Together, Part 4

| Hertfordshire, England, UK | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

(I volunteer with a Brownie unit (similar to Girl Scouts), and am often required to get the badges that the girls need. I have forgotten to write down what I need this week, and suddenly remember whilst sitting in the living room with my family. They are used to this, so they often make jokes. )

Me: “Okay, so I’m going to need a cyclist and a gardener badge.”

Dad: “Well, um, I’ll be the cyclist and your mother can do the gardening.”

Mum: “What exactly do you need us for?”

Sister: “Probably something evil like poisoning and knocking people over. Don’t do it!”

Me: “Nope. Dad’s going to power my killing machine with his bike and Mum’s going to hide the bodies in the shrubbery. I have thought this through, you know.”

Dad: “Okay, well let me know when you need me.” *goes back to reading the

The Family That Slays Together, Stays Together, Part 3
The Family That Slays Together, Stays Together, Part 2
The Family That Slays Together, Stays Together
(from NotAlwaysRomantic):
The Couple That Slays Together, Stays Together, Part 2
The Couple That Slays Together, Stays Together

Can’t Spell Pissed Without The P

| NY, USA | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

(Mom is cleaning under the keyboard and removes the spacebar to get to a paperclip hidden under the keys. I didn’t know that the keys on the keyboard are removable.)

Me: “Oh my God!”

Mom: “What?”

Me: “What are you doing?”

Mom: “Cleaning the keyboard?”

Me: “By tearing off the keys?”

Mom: “What?”

Me: “The space bar! You tore it off!”

Mom: “It’s supposed to come off, you idiot!”

Me: “Oh, it can?”

Mom: “Yes!”

Me: “Oh. I thought you got really angry or something and started tearing keys off the keyboard.”

Mom: “What?! You think I’d get that angry, that I’d start breaking things?!”

Me: “Well, you certainly look angry enough now.”

Under-stated But Not Under-aged

| London, England, UK | In-Laws, LGTBQ, Nephews & Nieces, Siblings

(I am gay, and am back from University. I’m staying with my parents for the summer holidays, along with my girlfriend. We are having some private time when my seven-year-old nephew walks in and surprises us. We decide not to lie to him, and explain that we are two women who love each other. He accepts this and takes it in his stride. Three years later, our degrees are finished and we decide to get married. We are telling my brother and sister in law.)

Brother: “I am so happy for you. I just wonder how I’m going to tell the kids that their auntie is marrying a woman.”

Nephew: *from the other room* “It’s okay, dad. I know auntie Sarah’s been a lesbian for years.” *without skipping a beat* “Can I bring a friend to the wedding?”

(It turns out, my brother his wife had been avoiding the subject for years. They needn’t have bothered! And, our wedding was fantastic!)