Totally Euforic

| NY, USA |

(I share a bedroom with my sister. We are playing the alphabet game instead of counting sheep.)

Sister: “I’ll go first…Alligator.”

Me: “Banana.”

Sister: “Cookie.”

Me: “Dog.”

Sister: “Euphoria.”

Me: “What does that mean?”

Sister: “Really happy.”

Me: “Oh. What comes after your word?”

Sister: “F.”

Me: “F, huh? Hmm… phone.”

*pause*

Me: “Shut up, I’m tired.”

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 2

| Queens, NY, USA | Friends, Parents & Guardians, Siblings, Sons & Daughters

(Me and my mom are on the porch, saying goodbye to my brother who is leaving for college.)

Me: “I’m going to miss you. Just don’t make me an aunt!”

Brother: “Don’t make me an uncle!”

(My neighbor has been watching us. He looks shocked.)

Mom: *to neighbor, very proudly* “Yup, they’re my kids.”

icon_parents

Adopting A Sense Of Humor

| Texas, USA | Children, Hall of Fame, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters, Top

(My little brother is lamenting how different he is from everyone else in the family.)

Little brother: “Dad, was I adopted?”

Dad: “Yes, but they brought you back.”

Cross-Exam

| Canada | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

(I’m living away from home, going to school. My parents call me almost every night for a short chat.)

Mom: “How was class today honey?”

Me: “I didn’t have class. I had my lab exam, remember?”

Mom: “Oh, right. Did you learn anything new?”

Me: “No, I had my lab exam!”

Mom: “Oh, right. When’s your lab exam?”

Me: “Today!”

Mom: “Oh, right. When’s your next exam?”

Me: “Monday. Mom, I’m going to head off now.”

Mom: “Ok, honey, love you. Good luck in your exam tomorrow.”

Mothers Hate Toilet Humor

| New York, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

(My dad purchases a new plunger, and is in the bathroom telling my mom how to use it.)

Dad: *sarcastically* “You know, for the new plunger, you have to pull the handle out before you can use it.”

Mom: “I know how to use a plunger.”

Sister: “Are you sure? You know you’ve got to put it in the toilet, right? And then push.”

Me: “And then pull.”

Sister: “And then push.”

Me: “And then pull.”

Sister: “And then push.”

Me: “And then pull.”

Sister: “And then you’ve got to take it out of the toilet before you sit down.”

(Dad starts cracking up.)

Mom: “I hate all of you.”