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A New Level Of Incompetence

| Belgium | Aunts & Uncles, Parents & Guardians, Popular

Aunt: *very excited* “Come and see. I hung a new rack in the bathroom.”

(We all squeeze in her bathroom and are baffled, as no carpenter’s eye is needed to see the rack is far from level. My dad is the first to recover.)

Dad: “Nice, but did you think of using a level?”

Aunt: “Of course. I did use one.”

Dad: “So you did. May I ask how?”

Aunt: *very indignant* “Well, I put it there and it did not fall off.”

(Cue laughter. The kicker? She holds a degree in chemistry and is actually very smart. Not in using levels, though.)

Pirates Have A Checkered Past

| Tracy, CA, USA | Tracy, CA, USA | Boyfriends & Girlfriends

(My mom, brother, sister, and I are playing Chinese checkers. We’re all adults. The game is close, but my brother has a small lead.)

Me: “I think [Brother] is winning.”

Brother: “It’s because I play like a pirate!”

Me: *confused* “How does… What?”

(He won.)

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Midnight Express

| Australia | Popular, Siblings

(I’m working mornings and haven’t had much sleep in months because of work and study commitments. I also have a habit of sleeping lightly when I’m stressed and waking up at the slightest thing. On this particular morning, my alarm is set to go off at five am.)

Me: *wakes up groggily, thinking my alarm has gone off, and begins straightening hair*

Brother: *walks into bathroom looking tired* “What are you doing?”

Me: “Getting ready for work.”

Brother: “No, you’re not. It’s midnight.”

Me: “But… my alarm went off.”

Brother: “No… go back to bed.”