Going Ape Over The New Baby

| Louisville, KY, USA | Children, Non-Dialogue, Siblings

When my younger sister was born, my parents announced it with several banners throughout the house proclaiming “It’s a girl!,” including one on the nursery door. I was two, nearly three, so while I could recognize certain letters, I couldn’t read.

My mother found me standing on front of the nursery room door, staring at the banner with an intense look of concentration.

Why? Because I was convinced the sign said “It’s a gorilla!”

Has A New Pet Hate

| CT, USA | Cousins, Parents & Guardians, Pets & Animals

(When my older sister turned eight or nine, our aunt got her a hamster for her birthday. Within a week, there is an issue with the hamster, and our mom calls our aunt. Our cousin, who is notorious for not passing on phone messages, answers.)

Mom: *very quietly and seriously* “You will make sure your mother gets this message.”

Cousin: *scared* “Yeah?”

Mom: “The next time she wants to buy one of my kids a pet, she should make sure the fool thing isn’t PREGNANT.”

(Our aunt got the message, and we got eight hamsters.)

Charged With Energy

| St. John's, NL, Canada | Children, Spouses & Partners

(My one-and-a-half-year-old son is acting up. Since my husband and I both feel like he’s too young to punish, we try to distract him with his toys. It usually works but today things go a little differently.)

Me: “I can’t get [Son] to calm down. He just got up from a nap, he used the toilet, and he ate 10 minutes ago!”

Husband: “Give him a toy. He’s just bored.”

Me: “[Son] isn’t interested in any of his toys today. It’s like he just doesn’t care anymore.”

Husband: “I have an idea.”

(My husband gets his phone charger and hands it to our son.)

Me: “What the h*** are you doing?! That’s dangerous.”

Husband: “I’m not done yet.”

(My husband removes the cord from the plug, gets a black marker, and draws two small lines on the wall.)

Husband: “Hey, [Son], can you plug that in for me?”

(My son spent the next ten minutes trying to plug the charger into the solid wall and wore himself out to the point that he didn’t make a fuss for the rest of the day — an all-time best for him.)

I Will Not Be Party To Your Party

| Detroit, MI, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

(By sheer coincidence, my brother and I, who is two years older than me, share a birthday. Up until this point we had a joint party every year for both of us. This takes place on my sixth birthday and his eighth.)

Me: “Dad…”

Dad: “What?”

Me: “I want a different birthday!”

Dad: “Why’s that?”

Me: “I don’t want to share a birthday with my brother; I want a day just for me!”

Dad: “That… is actually a very good idea. I’ll consider it.”

(To my and my brother’s surprise, our next birthday was completely different. Our dad had set things up so there would be two parties going on simultaneously, one inside and one in the back yard. We had separate cakes, no presents that were meant for “both of us,” and we got to choose our own guests and activities without the other needing to agree with them. We both loved it and every birthday since has been the same way. I will always respect my dad for going the extra mile.)

Grandma Is The O.G.

| OH, USA | Grandparents

(This is a story my coworker relayed to me.)

Coworker: “It was so lovely this weekend; I wanted to take my granddaughter out, so I called her and asked. The conversation went like this:”

Coworker: “Hi, honey, do you want to go out with G?” *her nickname as a grandma*

Teenager: “Sure! Hey, mom, can I hang out with G today?”

Mom: *in the background although audible over the phone* “Go where?”

Teenager: *into the phone* “Go where?”

Coworker: *indignantly, sarcastically* “With G.”

Teenager: *to her mom* “With ‘G.'”

Mom: “Fine…”

Coworker: *breaking her narrative, to me as the listener* “What does she THINK I was going to do to my granddaughter? Who does she think I am? I can’t believe she questioned me like that!”

Me: *thinking* “Because it is totally rude and unnatural for a mother to want to know where her daughter is going to be…”