Grandma Is Cooking Up A Storm

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Grandparents

(I’m 27 and from Switzerland. I am visiting my grandma in Australia for the first time in 14 years. I see all sorts of wonderful foods I’ve never seen before, and one day I get myself a couple things for lunch. I’m zapping them in the microwave when I hear my furious grandma talking to my mum in the background.)

Grandma: “She got herself lunch?! Well, okay then, if she doesn’t want to be part of this family anymore!”

(And that’s how I got to spend a month with her, not allowed to eat anything she hadn’t cooked herself…)

The Cat Has The Last Meow

| VA, USA | Pets & Animals, Spouses & Partners

(My husband and I have recently had to sleep in different rooms due to his back issues. One of our cats is 18 years old, very small, and prissy. She hates to be touched other than being pet. We’re staying up later than normal and watching TV in my bed. My husband gets up to go to the bathroom and the cat jumps in his spot and quickly gets comfy. When this happens he can usually make her move by bouncing the bed near her.)

Husband: *starts bouncing the bed* “Come on, get out of here. That’s my spot.”

(The cat gets an annoyed expression on her face but doesn’t move.)

Husband: *seeing as moving the bed didn’t work he takes a pillow and slowly drags it over her* “I mean, really, get up.”

Cat: *hunkers down and refuses to move*

Husband: *starts to push her to make her move* “Why is she being so stubborn?”

Me: “That’s her spot. She always sleeps right there at night. She’s trying to tell you it’s way past our bedtime!”

(We both laughed and I ended up having to pick her up to make her move. I guess she is getting cranky in her old age.)

Protecting Children From Themselves

| OK, USA | Aunts & Uncles, Children, Sons & Daughters

(My uncle is a very large, hairy man — picture the stereotypical biker. He has two sons, and the mother had left a long time ago. His oldest has hit middle school, and he starts to act like a little s***. My uncle takes away privileges when the kid acts out. One day he gets called down to the school and is met by Child Protection Services (CPS) and a cop.)

School Official: “[Uncle], your son has said you’ve been beating him, and not letting him have food. Is this true?”

Uncle: “What? No!”

(He looks at his son and sees him smirking. He’s mad at his dad because he took his game system away. The CPS and cop explain how they will need to do an investigation, etc. My uncle looks at his son, looks at himself, and figures, why fight it?)

Uncle: “Take him.”

Everyone: “What!”

Uncle: “If my son really feels abused there is no way a single dad who looks like me can win. Take him.”

(At this point the cop started to smile and gave my uncle a wink. He agreed with my uncle and they took my cousin and placed him with social services for three days. By the end of it my cousin was crying and confessed to the cops he lied because his dad took his gaming system and his friends said he should ‘get back’ at his dad. He returned home and nothing more was said. Cousin straightened up from then on and went on to med school.)

Mortgages IRL, Because YOLO

| Norway | Siblings

(My brother and his girlfriend have been living together for years, and have recently decided to move out of town to be closer to her family. I receive this text:)

Brother: “LOL, we bought an apartment.”

(Yes, my 27-year-old brother thought the proper response to buying an apartment was ‘LOL’.)

Toying With The Lesson

| USA | Grandparents

(My grandmother is visiting my parents for a few weeks. There is a small cart in which my mom keeps a selection of small toys in for my kids to play with. I have to use it briefly when I go over there one day so I just dump the toys on the couch. When I am done I barely have a chance to start putting them away before my grandmother tells my two-year-old to clean up the mess.)

Grandma: “Put the toys away.”

(My daughter starts happily putting stuff in, and I just start cleaning up my mess along with her.)

Me: “Thank you for helping Mommy.”

(I dump a larger group of toys in.)

Grandma: “[My Name], I told her to put the toys away.”

Me: “But I’m the one that made the mess.”

Grandma: “I’m trying to teach her something.”

Me: “But, I made the mess.”

Grandma: “Well, she doesn’t know that. It won’t make a difference to her.”

(Luckily, we finished quickly, so further discussion was moot, anyway.)

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