Renting ‘Final Destination’

| Denver, CO, USA | Grandchildren

(Heard this on the way out of the supermarket.)

Little Girl: *at a video rental kiosk* “Grandpa! You’re going to die if you don’t hurry up!”


That Boy Has A Great Night Ahead Of Him

| Dallas, TX, USA | Children, Popular, Sons & Daughters

(I am waiting in line at the cashier with my youngest son, who is four. Behind me are a couple of college-aged kids. When it’s my turn, I approach the register and the cashier greets me and my son, who is playing with his Toy Story toys in the cart.)

Cashier: “How are you doing today, young man?”

Son: “Great! I’ve got a Buzz, and a Woody!”

(The kids behind me were still laughing when we left the store.)


Oh, Brother

| Pakistan | Children, Popular, Siblings

(My little brother is 16 years younger than me. This incident is around the time when I was still getting used to having him around. He is three-and-a-half at this time. Due to my tomboy nature, I feel uncomfortable if he calls me sister, big sister, etc. I have asked him to just call me by my name. He sometimes even calls me brother to make me happy even though he knows perfectly well that I am his sister. We are shopping at a grocery store near our home. As we are regulars, the manager knows us and comes over to say hello.)

Manager: *shaking my brothers hand* “Hello! How are you, young man?”

Brother: *smiling* “I am happy.”

Manager: “I can see that. You found your favourite ice cream. Whom did you bring with you?” *despite knowing me and just making conversation*

(My brother looks thoughtful and looks at me for a moment before announcing proudly.)

Brother: “My big brother.”

(He then just hopped down the stairs. I felt happy knowing that he had said that because he knew that would make me feel good. The manager just smiled. I have become much more accepting and don’t mind if he calls me sis sometimes instead of my name. We just made a bond that day. He is five now and thriving.)


Lettuce Have Our Puns

| CA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Punny

(I’m at the grocery store with my mom. I pick up a head of lettuce and hold it up. I look at my mom.)

Me: “Heads will roll if I throw this lettuce.”

Mom: *looks at me*

Me: “Yes, that was a bad pun and I’m not ashamed of it.”


Fussing Over Your Children

| Waterloo, ON, Canada | Parents & Guardians

(I’m a notorious picky eater, and my mom is showing me hors d’oeuvres that she bought for the family dinner on Sunday, which my boyfriend is invited to as well.)

Mom: “Look at these hors d’oeuvres I bought!” *holds up a box of spinach wraps*

Me: “Eww…”

Mom: “No! Not eww! They’re spinach and feta cheese!”

Me: “That does not sound appetizing in the least.”

Mom: “I bet [Boyfriend] will like them!”

Me: “Yeah, ‘cause he eats everything.”

Mom: “Exactly!”

Me: “You’re thinking that you got the wrong kid now, aren’t you?”

Mom: “No, I got the right kid…”

Me: “Aww.”

Mom: “I just need to train you better.”

Me: “Right there. That was almost sentimental, and then you took it too far.”

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