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Fussing Over Your Children

| Waterloo, ON, Canada | Parents & Guardians

(I’m a notorious picky eater, and my mom is showing me hors d’oeuvres that she bought for the family dinner on Sunday, which my boyfriend is invited to as well.)

Mom: “Look at these hors d’oeuvres I bought!” *holds up a box of spinach wraps*

Me: “Eww…”

Mom: “No! Not eww! They’re spinach and feta cheese!”

Me: “That does not sound appetizing in the least.”

Mom: “I bet [Boyfriend] will like them!”

Me: “Yeah, ‘cause he eats everything.”

Mom: “Exactly!”

Me: “You’re thinking that you got the wrong kid now, aren’t you?”

Mom: “No, I got the right kid…”

Me: “Aww.”

Mom: “I just need to train you better.”

Me: “Right there. That was almost sentimental, and then you took it too far.”

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Isn’t Too Chicken To Eat Off The Floor

| UT, USA | Sons & Daughters

(I’m grocery shopping with my two-year-old son. I’ve just recently started letting him walk next to me, rather than making him ride in the cart every time we shop. I look down and see that he’s chewing on something, and has a beige lump of something in his hand.)

Me: “[Son], what are you eating?”

Son: *nonchalantly* “Just chicken, Mom.”

Me: *taking it from him* “Where did you get it?”

Son: “The floor.”

Me: “Gross. You can’t eat stuff off the floor, buddy.”

Son: *spits bite out on the floor*

Me: “Um. Thanks. I didn’t know you still had some in your mouth. Now I gotta find a trash can.”

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Just Run With It

| UT, USA | Sons & Daughters

(I’m grocery shopping with my two-year-old. We’re walking down an aisle and there’s other people in the way. The store isn’t busy, but we usually go when the store is pretty empty.)

Son: “Mom, there’s lots of people.”

Me: “It’s okay; it just means we have to wait our turn.”

Son: “We have to run over them!”

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