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It Runs, And Trips, In The Family

| AB, Canada | Parents & Guardians, Popular

(A few days before the camp where I have been working is finished for the summer I am diagnosed with a concussion, and am rather disappointed that I have to go home just before finishing. The concussion was due to someone careening off the slip and slide and taking me out. It’s also worth noting that I have developed a reputation at camp for being accident-prone.)

Me: “Hi, Mom!”

(She waves as she gets out of the car and approaches the porch where I’m standing. She attempts to step onto it, and promptly trips, sprawling across the porch rather splendidly.)

People With Me: “Oh, my word, are you okay?”

(Meanwhile, the camp director is desperately trying to stifle his laughter.)

Mom: *popping back up* “Yup!”

Me: *turning to the others and gesturing towards my mom* “Now you understand!”

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Providing Extra Aid

| USA | Parents & Guardians

(I am at summer camp and everyone is unpacking their things.)

Girl #1: “My mom labeled everything. She even labeled my band-aids.”

Girl #2: “Maybe she doesn’t want anyone taking your box.”

Girl #1: “Yeah, but don’t you find this kind of excessive?” *she empties the box to reveal each individual band-aid is labeled…*

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Doesn’t Take A Genius To Crack The Code

| Vulcan, AB, Canada | Children, Cousins, Popular

(I am camping with several members of my extended family and their children. I’m talking with some of the cousins near the fire pit during a marshmallow roast.)

Cousin: “I’ve cracked the code. Any time a sentence begins with “look, mom” or “I’m a genius”, that’s my cue to intervene.”

(At that moment, one of her sons runs towards the fire pit with a plastic bottle full of marshmallows taped to a tree branch.)

Cousin’s Son: “Look, mom! I’m a genius!”

Cousin: *to us* “I’ll be right back.”

Get Him Into A Pinch Of Trouble

| TX, USA | Parents & Guardians

(I am six, I am dealing with a bully who often pinches me while I am at day camp. I tell my dad about this and, having an “eye for an eye” philosophy, this is his response:)

Dad: “If [Bully] ever pinches you again, give her a taste of her medicine and pinch her right back.”

Me: “Umm… okay.”

(Being the quiet and innocent girl I am, I never take my dad’s advice. For the rest of the week, we have conversations that go like this:)

Dad: “Did [Bully] pinch you?”

Me: “Yes…”

Dad: “Did you pinch her back?”

Me: “No…”

(We have this conversation every day until one day when parents are asked to pick me and the others up at a pool near the day camp. When my dad comes to get me, I swim to the other end of the pool and pinch the bully, even though she doesn’t pinch me before that day.)

Bully: “Owww…”

Me: “See, Dad? I pinched [Bully] just like you told me to!”

Dad: “Umm…” *nervously glances at the counselors*

(I don’t remember what happened afterwards, but my dad did have a long talk with me afterwards.)

Camping Is Too In-Tents

, | PA, USA | Siblings

(My sister and I go camping by ourselves, which is a first since we usually go with our dad, so I’m a little nervous because we don’t have his protection and there’s a lot of drunk strangers close by at the neighboring campsites. We’re lying down in our tent to sleep.)

Sister: “Do you ever wonder how long it would take someone to find our bodies if we get slashed by a psycho while we sleep out here?”

(She then went promptly to sleep. Several hours later when the sun was coming up, she asked me why I was still wide awake and why I’d brought the tire iron from the boot of the car into the tent with us.)

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