Get Him Into A Pinch Of Trouble

| TX, USA | Parents & Guardians

(I am six, I am dealing with a bully who often pinches me while I am at day camp. I tell my dad about this and, having an “eye for an eye” philosophy, this is his response:)

Dad: “If [Bully] ever pinches you again, give her a taste of her medicine and pinch her right back.”

Me: “Umm… okay.”

(Being the quiet and innocent girl I am, I never take my dad’s advice. For the rest of the week, we have conversations that go like this:)

Dad: “Did [Bully] pinch you?”

Me: “Yes…”

Dad: “Did you pinch her back?”

Me: “No…”

(We have this conversation every day until one day when parents are asked to pick me and the others up at a pool near the day camp. When my dad comes to get me, I swim to the other end of the pool and pinch the bully, even though she doesn’t pinch me before that day.)

Bully: “Owww…”

Me: “See, Dad? I pinched [Bully] just like you told me to!”

Dad: “Umm…” *nervously glances at the counselors*

(I don’t remember what happened afterwards, but my dad did have a long talk with me afterwards.)

Camping Is Too In-Tents

, | PA, USA | Siblings

(My sister and I go camping by ourselves, which is a first since we usually go with our dad, so I’m a little nervous because we don’t have his protection and there’s a lot of drunk strangers close by at the neighboring campsites. We’re lying down in our tent to sleep.)

Sister: “Do you ever wonder how long it would take someone to find our bodies if we get slashed by a psycho while we sleep out here?”

(She then went promptly to sleep. Several hours later when the sun was coming up, she asked me why I was still wide awake and why I’d brought the tire iron from the boot of the car into the tent with us.)

I Know Everyone In Relation To Me

| MD, USA | Children, Cousins, Friends

(I’m at a girls cabin at a teen retreat camp. I’ve just finished unpacking my stuff after a 25-hour drive with 8 buses. I look across the room to the bunk bed parallel to mine and see someone I think might be my cousin.)

Me: “Is your name Porter?”

Girl: “Yeah. Aren’t you my third cousin?”

Me: “Yeah, I thought so. Just making sure! Hi, cousin. Nice to meet you!”

Girl: “Nice to finally meet you!”

(My friend has been listening to this. She looks amazed because this has happened right after unloading the buses, when I was continuously giving people hugs and telling them hello.)

Me: “Allow me to explain. My dad is one of 13 children, so I have a big family. Ten cousins that I know of are on the trip with us.”

Friend: “Are you related to everybody!?”

Me: *laughing* “Just about!”

(Later that night, one of the chaperones approaches my friend and me.)

Chaperone: “Are you two sisters or related or something? Because y’all look like twins!”

Friend: “Not yet!”

(My friend drops to one knee in front of me.)

Friend: “Will you marry me?”

(We all laugh. After we finally calm down again, she turns to me.)

Friend: “I think your brother is very cute though; so, maybe one day we will be related!”