In Dire Need Of Direction

| St. Charles, MO, USA | Nephews & Nieces, Siblings

(I am going to funeral in an area I am not very familiar with. I have directions, and the rest of my family is already there. As I follow the directions, they are not going to an area I am expecting them to take me. It’s really rural and GPS is spotty, but surprisingly, cell phone service works. I call my sister, but I can’t reach her. After the third try, I try her teenage son.)

Me: “Hey, kiddo, can you get me your mom?”

Nephew: “She’s talking to a bunch of people.”

Me: “Okay, but I need to get some directions from her. Can you go bring her the phone?”

Nephew: “Are you lost?”

Me: “Well, I’m not sure…”

Nephew: *running over to his mom yelling loud enough for EVERYONE can hear* “MOM, [My Name] is LOST!”

Sister: *laughing as she picks up*

Me: “I AM NOT LOST! I’m just… not where I expected to be!”

Sister: “So, lost?”

Me: “Not lost. I can get back out of this. I’m just not sure I can get where you are from here.”

(All the while, in background you can hear my nephew:)

Nephew: “Is she lost? Do we have to go get her? Grandma, [My Name] is lost!”

Me: “Will you tell him I’m not lost already…? Then, give me directions.”


Losing Ctrl

| Brooklyn, Wellington, New Zealand | Parents & Guardians

(My mum is an IT teacher and head of department at a high school, but she can’t get her head around keyboard commands.)

Mum: “[My Name], how do you make a new tab with the keyboard?”

Me: “Ctrl+T.”

(Mum opens a new tab and starts doing really important stuff. After about half an hour, I hear her scream.)

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Mum: “I lost all my work!”

Me: “How?”

Mum: “I thought that since Ctrl+T makes a new tab, Ctrl+W would make a new window!”

(I have told her countless times that Ctrl+W closes a tab, so I just showed her how to restore her work, then walked off.)


A Little Frog Told Me

| London, England, UK | Parents & Guardians, Pets & Animals

(My mum and stepdad are keen birdwatchers and regularly go to wetlands or preserves to pursue their hobby. Today, they’d been to the wetlands and mum called me on their way home.)

Me: “Hi. Did you have a nice time?”

Mum: “We did; the weather was beautiful.”

Me: “Did you see any good birds?”

Mum: *excitedly* “We saw a frog!”

Me: *face-palm*


The Shortening Generation Gap

| Waynesboro, PA, USA | Popular, Siblings

(While cleaning my room with my sister, she happens to find my first phone, which happens to be an old flip phone. Cue her complete confusion.)

Sister: “What is this?!”

Me: “My first phone; it’s a flip phone.”

Sister: *opens it up* “How do you use it?! Is that the screen?! How do you type?! Where’s the front facing camera?! Is the charger a USB or…?”

Me: *tries to explain it in between laughs*

Sister: “So, can you use your finger on the screen?”

Me: *cracking up by now* “No!”

Sister: “Man, I’d hate to have that phone. It’s really weird.”

(I never thought that at only the age of 20, I’d be subject to the feeling of ‘Man, kids these days will never know what it was like.’)


An Anomalous Child

| Madison, WI, USA | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

(Mom and I are watching a show in which the characters find openings into other time periods. I’ve been criticizing a particular character for how quickly they went through the anomaly.)

Me: “Then again, you realize that if I ever found one of those, I’d be through it in a heartbeat?”

Mom: *not sounding at all surprised* “Leave a note.”