A Growth Experience

| USA | Siblings

(My parents and I are picking up my brother from the airport when he comes to visit. He’s ten years older than me and has lived away from home most of my life, having moved away directly after college. It should also be noted that I’m a girl in my late teens and I’m 5’11”.)

Brother: “Hey, can we stop and get some coffee before we leave? I just want to relax for a minute.”

Mom: “Sure. There’s a cafe by the baggage claim.”

(We grab a table and order some drinks. My brother doesn’t pay attention to what I order until my latte arrives.)

Brother: *taken aback* “You drink coffee?!”

Me: “Yeah…?”

Brother: “Since when do you drink coffee?”

Me: “A few years now. I had my first mocha in seventh grade.”

Brother: “Coffee’s bad for you. It’ll stunt your growth!”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Good.”

Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 3

| IL, USA | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Parents & Guardians, Pokemon, Spouses & Partners

(My boyfriend and I are at his parents’ house when this happens. Both of us are in our mid-20s and are avid Pokémon Go players. Also staying at his parents’ house are some friends of theirs. As we are headed out to play some PoGo, the wife of his parents’ friend stops us, demanding to know what Pokémon ‘is.’)

Wife: “OKAY! WHAT is a Pokémon?”

Boyfriend: *taking out his phone to show her* “Well, it was originally released in the late 90s as a game that you could play on a Gameboy. You remember me being around and playing that when I was a kid, right? Well, it’s now a phone app that you can play in real time and place through geocached data that is coordinated with online maps and GPS location.”

Wife: *impatiently* “Okay but what is Pokémon?! Everyone is talking about Pokémon!”

Boyfriend: *too patiently* “Well, here, let me show you.” *opens app* “Pokémon are little creatures that you capture and collect.”

Wife: *points to Squirtle* “Is that him? Is that Pokémon?”

Boyfriend: *still patiently* “He is a Pokémon. That’s Squirtle; here’s another Pokémon but it’s called Pikachu. There’s a lot of them, 151 to be exact.”

Wife: “That’s a lot! So it’s not Pokémon; it’s Pokémons.”

(By this point my boyfriend’s mom and I were laughing too hard and the woman thankfully lost her focus as she has a very short attention span.)

Related:
Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 2
Here We Pokémon Go Again

Didn’t Have To Wrestle With That Decision

| USA | Siblings

(My brother and I are browsing the used games, looking for something good to buy.)

Me: “Oh look! This game is only for $1!”

Brother: “Really?!”

Me: “Yeah! It’s about wrestling, though.”

(Neither of us are fans of wrestling. But since it’s so cheap, we decide to buy it anyways. Later, we pop it into our console. The only thing that I know about wrestling is it’s about muscled men and women beating up each other.)

Me: “Huh… it looks like you can pick up this chair… and smack your enemy with it!”

(We think this is hilarious, so we end up picking up chairs and smacking each other on the heads for hours with it and cracking up. Best dollar spent ever. Our mom stared at us like we lost our minds, though.)

Haters Gonna Fake

| USA | Siblings

(I’m reading some comment boards online.)

Me: “Don’t you hate it when you’re reading the comments and some troll says ‘Fake!’ or something like that? I mean, how do they know?”

Brother: *goes off on a long winded rant about how nothing should be trusted because of conspiracy theories, politics, and the evil government*

Me: “You’re one of these trolls, aren’t you?”

(He was!)

Found Jesus But Can’t Get Rid Of Him

| CT, USA | Distant Relatives

(My husband was a teenager when his father was hospitalized at a Catholic hospital. On the wall there is a typical Catholic cross depicting Jesus being crucified. Note: The whole family is Orthodox Jews. Some even more religious relatives drive in to visit from NYC. They notice the cross.)

Relative: *to my husband* “Climb up on a chair and take that off the wall.”

Husband: *after struggling for a moment* “I can’t. It’s nailed up there.”

(He had no idea why everyone stared at him in stunned silence.)