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MASHing The Shows Together

| Kitchener, ON, Canada | Parents & Guardians, Popular

(My dad and I have a number of series that we watch together. Tuesday nights are ‘The Walking Dead’, ‘MASH’, and ‘Bates Motel,’ and we rotate between them depending on what we feel like. We’re partway through season four of ‘The Walking Dead,’ and just completed a particularly depressing episode.)

Me: *feeling disheartened* “Can we watch an episode of MASH now?”

Dad: “You want to watch a MASH? We can do that.”

Me: “Awesome. I need to see something more… lighthearted.”

Dad: “Lighthearted? The war in Korea is more lighthearted?”

Me: “Well, technically no, but it is a comedy…”

Dad: “I’m feeling sad! I know! I’ll watch some Korean War! That’ll cheer me up!”

Me: “Okay, you’ve made your point. Now, please shut up.”

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Everybody Raise The Dinosaur

| CA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Popular, Siblings

(I’m at home over the weekend, and am just lazing around in my room with my laptop. My younger sister calls from Kentucky, where she’s attending grad school. She needs Dad to help her with a computer thing, so he’s in his office — which is right next to my room — and doing Helpful Computer Things with her. Then this happens.)

Computer: *makes ridiculous, screeching animal noise*

Sister: *over the phone line* “What the h*** was that?!”

Dad: “A video of your mother…”

Sister: “Seriously? It sounded like a T-Rex!”

Dad: “I suppose now is when I should tell you that she ate your birth parents and we felt so guilty that we just had to raise you as our own… It’s just lucky that you look exactly like her human form.”

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Teaching Kids Is A Walking In The Park-ing Lot

| Glens Falls, NY, USA | Nephews & Nieces, Popular, Siblings

(My sister-in-law and my brother have taken my three-year-old out. Returning to the car, my brother goes over colors with my niece after she asks him what color a car was.)

Brother: “What color is that car?”

Niece: “Red.”

Brother: “Yes. What color is this one?”

Niece: “Blue.”

Brother: “Good job.” *sees truck, parked badly* “This one is douchebag.”

Niece: “Douchebag.”

(Not gonna lie, I laughed my a** off when I heard this.)