Getting Crabby With The Injury

| USA | Siblings

(I’m sitting in the living room, and my little sister is on the other side of the room.)

Sister: “I have a crab on my leg.”

Me: “You have a… crab on your leg?”

Sister: “Yeah.” *she points to the back of her leg* “Right there.”

Me: “A crab?”

Sister: “Yeah.”

Me: “You mean a SCRAPE?”

Sister: “It WAS a scrape.”

Me: *realizes* “Ohhhh. You have a SCAB on your leg.”

Sister: “Yeah, I have a scab.”

The Odds Are Not In Your Favor

| IN, USA | Siblings

(My sister and I are watching ‘The Hunger Games,’ I am 22 and she is 14. I am also on my computer writing.)

Sister: “[My Name], would you Volunteer as tribute for me?”

Me: *without hesitation* “Nope.”

Sister: “What?!”

My Vietipino History

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

(My mom is trying to tell us about our grandpa and what he was doing during WWII.)

Mom: “Your grandpa was in the Philippines working on the Ho Chi Minh trail.”

(At this point, my sister and I give each other smiles.)

Sister: “Good morning, Vietnam!”

Grateful For The Heartbreak

| MA, USA | Parents & Guardians

Dad: “You are so ungrateful!”

Me: “I’m your kid. I’m not supposed to be grateful; the only things I’m supposed to do are eat your food and break your heart!”

Dad: “Well, you’re doing a damned good job at both of those.”

I Smell A New Train Of Thought

| OR, USA | Sons & Daughters

(We go to a pumpkin patch at Halloween and the kids ride a farm ‘train,’ which is a tractor pulling a wagon. The driver stops the train part-way along the route, pretending to run out of gas.)

Driver: *to the kids* “Oh, no! This train runs on gas and SMILES! I’ve run out of gas, so you all need to SMILE!”

My Five-Year-Old Daughter: “Or we could all fart! Farts are gas, too!”

After Terrible Twos Come The Tiring Threes

| AL, USA | Children, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

(I’m babysitting my cousins, who are aged seven, three, and two. The kids are mostly in another room, which I can see from where I am.)

Me: *sits on the couch* “Hey, [Three-Year-Old], wanna come watch [Cartoon] with me?”

Three-Year-Old: *has really stressed out face, and keeps glancing around* “But… but everyone’s not doing what they are supposed to be doing!”

My Mom: “Let’s keep her.”