Bad Jokes: The Next Generation

| IL, USA | Parents & Guardians

(I am at work and texting my mom on my break. She is being funny when the following exchange happens.)

Me: “I’m going to stop you right there before you start making too many bad jokes.”

Mom: “I don’t make bad jokes! I made you. What do you call that?”

Me: “A bad joke.”


Advertising The Wrong Thing

| NS, Canada | Parents & Guardians

(My father was talking about his boss’ computer and how he never updated anything. His secretary went to install Windows 10 and it crashed.)

Dad: “She got it started in safe mode and restored it to a previous save point. So it’s working again.”

Mom: “So what went wrong?”

Dad: “Well, [Boss] visits sites he shouldn’t go.”

Mom: “Oh! Does he?”

Dad: “Yah. Like msn.com.”

(Mom and I burst out laughing.)

Dad: “It’s full of ads!”

Mom: “That’s not what we thought of when you said sites he shouldn’t go on.”


Tim Burton’s New Art Director

| Wilmington, DE, USA | Parents & Guardians

(I am at a burger place, waiting for my order while my mom waits in the car. The walls are painted as chalkboards, allowing patrons to draw on them while they wait. I draw a bit while waiting for my order. Not long after I get my order and get into the car.)

Me: “I drew while I was waiting.”

Mom: “Oh, yeah? What did you draw?”

Me: “A heart with blue wings, a couple of butterflies, a sun, and then I wrote “Living Dead Girl” and drew a dead girl’s face with bloody tears.”