A Specific Slice Of Wording

| IN, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

(My husband and I have been out while my mom babysits our two kids. We pick them up, go bowling, and decide to eat out instead of fixing something at home since it is getting late. The youngest one, three, has a hard time concentrating on eating and wants to know about everything else she can see from our table. This happens after she’s been eating the same piece of pizza for 10 minutes.)

Daughter: “Daddy, what’s that?”

Husband: “Don’t worry about it. Eat your pizza.”

Daughter: “Daddy, what does that do?”

Husband: “Nothing. Now eat your pizza.”

Daughter: *giving Daddy a messy hug* “I love you, Daddy!”

Husband: “I love you, too. Now eat your pizza.”

(And on and on until…)

Daughter: “Daddy, what’s that?”

Husband: “Nothing. Quit worrying about everything else, and eat your d*** pizza.”

Daughter: *looks closely at pizza* “It’s not a d*** pizza.”

(Luckily she didn’t see me laughing, and I think Daddy has learned his lesson about what he says to her!)

Bridge Over Troubled Pronunciation

| PA, USA | Siblings

(My brother is about eight.)

Mom: “So what music do you want to listen to next?”

Brother: “Simon and Garf**kle… oops.”

(We didn’t stop laughing the rest of the car ride.)

And Hell Smells Like Brussel Sprouts

| USA | Parents & Guardians

(My mom is getting something out of the pantry.)

Mom: “You know, when you open that door, all you can smell is marshmallows and chocolate. It smells like heaven!”