Ignoring The Silent Majority

| Nelson, BC, Canada | Children, Sons & Daughters

(My husband, two daughters (ages four and six), and I are driving home after a trip into town. We have been playing a game called ‘This Animal’ where you say three things about an animal and everyone else has to guess what it is. Our four-year-old has just used her turn to try and get us to identify an animal she has made up in her head. Slightly frustrated and feeling a headache coming on I decide we’re going to play a new game.)

Me: “Okay, now we’re going to play ‘See Who Can Be The Quietest.'”

Six-Year-Old: “I know this game! We used to play it in kindergarten! How long do we have to be quiet for?”

Me: “Until I say we’re done.”

Six-Year-Old: “Okay!”

(My four-year-old starts rambling loudly about various things.)

Four-Year-Old: “What is everyone doing?”

Me: “Well, currently everyone is doing better in this game than you…”

(My four-year-old starts talking about something else that has nothing to do with anything that we are currently doing and trying to get her sister to answer her.)

Me: “SSHHH!”

Four-Year-Old: *in a very condescending tone* “Don’t you sshh me!”

(At this point the game degenerated into our two daughters ‘sshhing’ and saying ‘don’t sshh me’ to each other until I announced that Daddy was the winner and we started to play ‘I Spy’ instead.)

Top 5 Funniest Stories Of February 2015

Not Always Related | Roundups

February 2015 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Related’s top-rated stories last month!

  1. Mom’s Favourite Cookie (420 thumbs up)
  2. Unconvinced About Your Convincing (406 thumbs up)
  3. Bathing In The Glory Of Misbehavior (406 thumbs up)
  4. Open Mouth, Insert Broken Ankle (378 thumbs up)
  5. Talking With Dad On A Whole New Level (374 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Grandma Can’t Size-Up The Situation

| Edo. de México, México | Grandparents, Siblings

(My sister broke up with her previous boyfriend some time ago but has recently started dating a new guy. One day, my grandma finds a jacket she doesn’t recognize and goes ask my sister. Her ex-boyfriend is a fairly skinny guy while her new boyfriend is really buff, and the jacket isn’t big.)

Grandma: “Honey, is this jacket from [Current Boyfriend]?”

Sister: “No, that would never fit him.”

Grandma: “Oh, so it is from [Ex-Boyfriend]?”

Sister: “Yes, that’s his.”

Grandma: “Oh! So… are we returning it or should we give it to [Current Boyfriend]?”

Relatives Are Relative

| NC, USA | Siblings

(I’m Korean and my family is obviously white. I was adopted as an infant and neither of my two older brothers ever think much of it. The oldest is early 20s, the other is 20, and I’m just shy of 18. The oldest is generally extremely embarrassing in public and is rather eccentric.)

Brother #1: *does another embarrassing thing*

Me & Brother #2: *walk away really fast*

Me: “I don’t know him.”

Brother #1: “Sister, where are you going?!”

Me: “I REALLY don’t know him and I’m not related to him at all.”

Brother #2: “I wish I could say the same.”

(We do love him, though.)

A Perfect Picture Of Inattentiveness

| NY, USA | Parents & Guardians

(My dad has an account on a photo sharing website and just recently posted up a picture of me from the renaissance faire we went to a couple of weeks ago. I go in on my profile there and ‘fave’ the pic and add a comment about how that’s me in the photo. This conversation happens over the phone the next day:)

Dad: “Oh, you’ve got an evil twin!”

Me: “Bull-s***. Unless there’s a twin sister you’ve never told me about, I don’t have an evil twin.”

Dad: “Yeah, she faved the pic and wrote ‘that’s me’ on it. She looks just like you!”

Me: *goes on my profile to see the pic* “Dad, that’s me! That’s my profile there!”

Dad: “OH! I didn’t know you had a photo stream! I was looking at it on my phone.”