This Is Beneath One(sie)

| Prince George, BC, Canada | Siblings

(My brother loves one-piece footed pajamas, and has since he was a kid. The only reason he stopped wearing them was he could no longer find them in his size. Now that they’re back in style, he owns them again. At this particular time, my mom is washing, drying, and vacuum sealing all the bedding for the spare bed. This includes two blankets, a duvet, four pillows, and three sets of sheets. The spare bed is an air mattress that they inflate and toss on the floor in my old room.)

Brother: *looks at pile of laundry* “You do realize how crazy this is, right? And this is coming from a fully grown man in a onesie.”

Dog Has It’s Day Everyday

| Enfield, CT, USA | Cousins, Pets & Animals

(I’m staying with my cousin and her pitbull for the weekend. I see my cousin cutting up a large amount of chicken. She’s vegetarian, so naturally this arouses my curiosity.)

Me: “What are you doing with all that chicken?”

Cousin: “Making dog food.”

Me: “… Why?”

Cousin: “Because she’s allergic to canned dog food. And because I don’t have children. That, too.”

Pushy About The Push-Ups

| Edina, MN, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

(My mom and I are helping my little sister shop for her first bra, and she is very nervous. My mom has been more than a little pushy about things and my sister finally snaps.)

Mom: “Does it… Does it feel good?”

Sister: “Yes.”

Mom: “Does it do what it’s supposed to?”

Sister: “Let me put it this way: it supports the Minnesota twins.”

Didn’t Think That One (Drive) Through

, | Chicago, IL, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters, Theme Of The Month

(My daughter is six years old when we stop at a popular restaurant to grab a bite to eat. We go through the drive-thru.)

Speaker: “Hello. Welcome to [Restaurant]. I’ll be with you in just a moment.”

Daughter: “Aw, mom, lets go somewhere else. We got their answering machine!”

My Family And Other (Extinct) Animals, Part 2

| France | Grandchildren, Grandparents, Theme Of The Month

(My four-year-old is looking at her grandmother.)

Daughter: “Gran, when you were young, did you have TV?”

Gran: “No. No TV, no computer, no DVD. And the radio was really big.”

Daughter: “Oh, gran, how sad. You were lucky when you were young!”

Gran: “Why is that?”

Daughter: “Well… you got to play with your pet dinosaur. I can’t do that because they are all extinct!”

My Family And Other (Extinct) Animals
My Family And Other Animals

Enlisting Some Help

| WA, USA | Parents & Guardians

(My mom is going to drop me off at my class and then go shopping.)

Mom: “Are you ready to go?”

Me: “Yeah. Do you have your list?”

Mom: “It’s in my head.”

Me: “Um, you should probably write it down. You never remember your head lists.”

Mom: “It’s fine. You wanted shampoo, right?”

Me: “Uh, try deodorant?”

Mom: “… I’ll go write it down.”