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That Isn’t Chocolate…

| USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces

(I am babysitting my nephew when this conversation happens:)

Me: “Are you excited for Easter?”

Nephew: “Yeah!”

Me: “What’s your favorite part about it?”

Nephew: “Getting candy from the Easter Bunny. Hey, where do Easter eggs come from?”

Me: “Um… the bunny harvests them.”

Nephew: “Good. I was afraid I was eating candy that came out of his a**!”

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All Winning Here

| AL, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

(My seven-year-old and my three-year-old are racing each other across the yard.)

Seven-Year-Old: *reaching the fence first* “I won!”

Three-Year-Old: *coming up behind her* “I two!”

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Definitely Not Married To The Idea

| Gresham, OR, USA | Parents & Guardians

(My papa is 80 years old and so he doesn’t exactly have a filter anymore and he’s over for lunch. I’m sitting in the living room with him and my step-brother when he says this out of the blue.)

Papa: “You know. Legally, you two can get married.”

(My step-brother looms at me with a look of horror and I returned it with a what-the-heck-just-happened face.)

Me: “What?!”

Papa: “Well, the more you know. I was just trying to help.”

(My step-brother and I just laughed nervously until my mother came into the room and we pretended like it never happened but my papa honestly didn’t see anything with what he said.)