They Push Up So Fast

| Houston, TX, USA | Parents & Guardians, Popular, Siblings

(I am sitting at home with mom, brother, and dad. We start talking about an upcoming cotillion.)

Mom: “How about this dress?”

(It is a floor length, strapless, aqua dress that is very pretty.)

Me: “I really like that one. The only problem is that it’s strapless, and I have no boobs.”

Brother: “Just get a push-up bra!”

Mom: “You can’t get a push-up bra if there isn’t anything there to push up!”

Dad & Brother: “OOOOOOHHHHH!”


Give A Dog A Bad Name

| Australia | Pets & Animals, Siblings

(My mother has just asked me to tell my two brothers to feed the dogs. This is how that went with my younger brother.)

Brother: “Here!”

Me: “Oh, there you are! Mum wants you to feed the dogs.”

Brother: “What is a dog?”

Me: “…a miserable little pile of secrets.”


Conversations Of An Adult Nature

| CA, USA | Grandparents, Popular

(My grandmother and I are driving in her car. We are talking about my girlfriend and me. I am 18 and legally an adult. My grandmother is highly religious while I am not.)

Grandma: “So how are you and that girlfriend of yours getting along?”

Me: “Great! I’m so lucky to have her in my life! She’s everything I’ve ever wanted and more!”

Grandma: “You know I don’t like that she’s non-religious, right? You really should be dating a Catholic girl. It’s only right to stay within your faith.”

Me: “Aren’t you married to a non-Catholic man?”

Grandma: “Well, yes. But that’s different. He’s an adult and can make his own decisions.”

Me: “Well, so am I.”

(When I told my girlfriend about this, the first thing she did was dig through her family photo album and find pictures of her Catholic baptism. My grandma was a lot more accepting of her after that.)