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Referring To A Different Kind Of Ride

| TX, USA | Sons & Daughters

(One of the slides at the park involves lying stomach-down or crouching on your knees on a mat. An older woman with her daughter are next in line.)

Woman: *to the lifeguard on duty* “Will I be okay on this ride? I have trouble getting on my knees.”

Daughter: “That’s not what Dad says.”

(The lifeguard could barely answer, he was laughing so hard!)

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This Tail Has A Happy Ending

| USA | Children, Siblings

Dad: *to little sister* “Wait, where did your shrimp tails go?”

Little Sister: *points to belly*

(We broke out the Pepto-Bismol that night.)

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When I Was A Kid It Was Just Ants In Your Pants

| USA | Nephews & Nieces

(I am babysitting my nine-year-old nephew after school.)

Me: “How was your day at school today?”

Nephew: “Today was share day, and we talked about our pets.”

Me: “Oh, that sounds fun!”

Nephew: “Not really. Everybody was talking about their dogs and cats, and I was feeling sad because I was the only without a pet. So when it was my turn, I told everyone I have a snake.”

Me: “Haha, well, I guess it’s okay to stretch the truth sometimes!”

Nephew: “I wasn’t really lying. I do have a snake… In my pants!”

(My nephew is no longer allowed to watch late night TV with his father.)