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The 70s Always Beat The 80s

| UK | Parents & Guardians

Me: “Dad, what temperature should chicken be when it’s cooked?”

Dad: “80 degrees.”

Me: “Okay, 70 it is…”

Dad: “70 is not good enough. You’ll die.”

Me: “Okay…” *goes to door* “Mum, what temperature does chicken have to be?”

Mum: *from the next room* “I usually do it until just over 70.”

Dad: “70’s not good enough!”

Me: “You’ve been eating that for most of your life, and here you are… not dead!”

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The Gift Of Memory

| Kent, WA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Popular

(I’m visiting my parents.)

Mom: “Those are nice earrings; when did you get them?”

Me: “A couple years ago… for my birthday… from you.”

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Cats Trump Jesus

| USA | Parents & Guardians, Popular

(My mother’s stance on homosexuality has evolved. When I’m eight I realize I like girls, but I live in a heavily Christian household. One day I see an advert mentioning separation of church and state.)

Me: “Why can’t people be gay even if they don’t believe in Jesus?”

Mom: “Because Jesus says it’s wrong.”

(That didn’t satisfy me for obvious reasons. So I kept quiet. When I was fourteen I finally got tired of it and told my mom I was gay. She never really said anything about it, but for a long time I could tell she was secretly hoping I’d change my mind. Finally, more than ten years later…)

Me: “I have a girlfriend.”

Mom: “Does she like cats?”

(I’m happily married now, and my mom came to the wedding. She loves my wife!)