One Son Sets, Another One Rises

| WI, USA | Parents & Guardians, Popular

(I’m playing a game online on a computer and my dad is watching TV. I just did very well in a match. My siblings were not planned, but I was.)

Me: *jokingly* “Are you proud of me now, dad?”

Dad: *overly dramatic* “You’re the son I have always wanted.”

Me: “But I am the son you wanted.”

Dad: “Oh, yeah.”

Can’t Think Outside You Moving Outside

| VA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Popular

(After college, I move back in with my parents while the house I am planning to rent (about five minutes from their house and very close to my work) is being renovated. The deal was always that I would move out as soon as my house was habitable, which I did; my dad, however, can be very good at denial.)

Dad: *calling* “Hey, sweetie, I’m going to be home late. I’m sorry.”

Me: “…Okay?”

Dad: “Did you feed the cats?”

Me: “No, I haven’t fed your cats. Do you want me to go do that?”

Dad: “Yes. They haven’t been bugging you for food?”

Me: “Dad, I’m not at your house. You do realize I moved out, right?”

Dad: “…No. No, you haven’t!”

Me: “…”

(Apparently, sleeping at my new house, moving all my things in (including my dog!), starting to set up all my bills, paying rent on the house rather than renting a room from my parents, and not coming over for dinner unless invited wasn’t enough to count as having moved out!)

Dishing Out The Chores

| Leduc, AB, Canada | Parents & Guardians

(I’m around nine or ten and sulking while doing my nightly chore of drying the supper dishes while my mother washes them.)

Mom: “You don’t see me complaining about doing the dishes.”

Me: “Well, it’s fine for you. You LIKE doing housework.”