Precious Family Moments

| CA, USA | Siblings

(Note: this takes place over dinner. While eating, my thirteen-year-old brother pipes up.)

Younger brother: “I just realized something! You know how everybody in Lord of the Rings thinks Sam is dumb? He used a four syllable word!”

(He starts counting on fingers.)

Younger brother: “Po-ta-toes!”

Robotics Is Down In The Dumps

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Grandparents, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

(My father-in-law is visiting. He tends to be quite free and open about various subjects. While at the breakfast table he begins to describe his recent colonoscopy exam, in detail. My 20-year-old daughter has a look of shock and disgust on her face.)

Grandfather: “You need to do this every ten years staring when you are 50.”

Daughter: “Oh my God! Does this mean I’m going to have to deal with this in 30 years?”

Me: “Aw, honey. Don’t worry. In 30 years they’ll have nano-bots that will crawl up your butt.”

Announcement: More Stories Every Day!

Not Always Related | Announcements

Just a quick note: starting today, you’ll get to read more daily stories on Not Always Related (and Not Always Romantic)!

We’re going from 3 stories to 4 stories per weekday, and from 1 story to 2 stories per weekend day. That’s an extra 7 stories per week for your reading pleasure!

This is thanks to all of the fantastic submissions from you, our wonderful readers, so please keep ’em coming! =)

Sincerely,
The Not Always Related Editors

Enough To Put You Into A Vegetative State

| Sammamish, WA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters, Top

(My parents lived in Belgium for a year, just before I was born.)

Me: “You know, I really don’t like brussel sprouts.”

Dad: “Well, you were conceived in Brussels. So, you’re sort of a brussel sprout yourself.”

Kids Put Urine To A Tight Spot

| Heathrow, London, England, UK | Children, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

(We have just landed in rough weather and the plane is still shaking violently as we taxi in. The seat belt lights are on and the stewardess has again told everyone to remain seated. The little boy across the aisle wakes up suddenly, with panic on his face.)

Boy: “Mommy, I need to go.”

Mother: “Just sit still. We are nearly there.”

(The boy tries to squirm free, despite his mother keeping a tight hold on him.)

Boy: “But, I need to go to the toilet now.”

Mother: “Just wait. We have to stay in our seats.”

(The little boy’s face is now bright red, and he shouts at the top of his voice.)

Boy: “Mommy, some of my pee pee is coming out, now!”

(Realizing catastrophe is imminent, she does what only a mother could: she grabs him and runs zigzag down the aisle to the toilet.)