This One Is A Real Mind-Gender

| UK | Children

(I am talking to a friend, whose younger brother is with him.)

Me: “My dad has a twin sister.”

Friend’s 4-year-old brother: “Can you tell them apart?”

In Need Of Change

| Chicago, IL, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

(My 3-year old daughter is counting out a bunch of her coins.)

Daughter: ”91, 92, 94!”

Me: “What happened to 93?”

(She begins looking around, very concerned.)

Me: “No, I mean you skipped 93.”

(She stares at me a moment, then stares at her line of coins. She suddenly points to a random coin and declares.)

Daughter: “93!”

The Birds And The Busybodies

| St. Paul, MN, USA | Parents & Guardians

(I’m 22, and I am at my wedding reception.)

Mom: “Now, honey. You know you can always come talk to me whenever you’re having troubles.”

Me: “Okay, mom.”

Mom: “Especially after you decide to have children. I give great advice! When I worked at the hospital, all my coworkers there said I gave the best advice.”

Me: “Okay, mom. I’ll let you know.”

Mom: *leans in close to me, and starts to whisper loudly* “You know what you have to do to have babies, right?”

Me: “Yes mom, I know where babies come from…”

Free Delivery On Shattered Dreams

| Hertfordshire, England, UK | Siblings

(There is a popular Kid’s TV Show in the UK called ‘Postman Pat’. It is about the adventures of a postman from the small village Greendale, and his cat, Jess. My three-year-old brother loves this show. My Mum has just answered the door to a postman delivering a package.)

Brother: “Are you Postman Pat?”

Postman: *completely deadpan and monotonous* “Yeah.”

Brother: “Where’s your cat?”

Postman: “Um…health and safety?” *shrugs and walks away*

Brother: *looks absolutely crestfallen*

Mum: *to my brother* “It’s okay! No one in Greendale is allergic to cats, so you can still see Jess when you watch him on TV!”

As Silent As A Mime

| UT, USA | Parents & Guardians

Me: “Mom, why do people hate mimes?”

Mom: *thinking I said ‘mice’* “Because they carry diseases, and poop everywhere.”