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You Couldn’t Make It Up

| USA | Hall of Fame, LGTBQ, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters, Top

(My job is to call people and pitch the brand of make-up my company sells. I call and an obviously really young girl answers the phone.)

Little Girl: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi, may I talk to the lady of this residence?”

Little Girl: “That’s me.”

Me: “I mean, may I talk to your mom?”

Little Girl: “I have two dads.”

Me: “Oh well, never mind then. Have a nice day!”

Little Girl: “Wait! Why did you call?”

Me: “I’m selling make-up.”

Little Girl: “Oh! One of my daddies loves that stuff. It makes him look pretty when he goes dancing! Let me give him the phone! Dad! Dad! Some girl wants to make you look pretty!”

Also seen on Not Always Right

Don’t Knock Knock Christmas

, | Germantown, WI, USA | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

(A dad and his children are in my checkout line. I’m ringing up items for the family when I hear his children talking to each other.)

8-year old son: “Want to hear a joke?

5-year old son: “Yeah!”

8-year old son: “Knock knock.”

5-year old son: “Who’s there?”

8-year old son: “Merry!”

5-year old son: “Merry who?”

8-year old son: “Merry, it’s almost Christmas!”

(I laugh.)

Dad: *looking at me and laughing too* “Yeah, I was wondering where he was going with that.”

Also seen on Not Always Right

Social Faux Pa Pa

, | Pennsylvania, USA | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

Child: “Daddy! Look at this!”

(The father comes over to find his child looking at an adult magazine.)

Father: *to me* “What the h*** is wrong with you? How can you let a 6-year-old boy look at this smut?!”

Me: *ringing up another customer* “Sir, I’m with another customer right now.”

Father: *waving the magazine in my face* “He is way too young for this! Why didn’t you stop him from looking at this?” *he starts screaming obscenities*

(My manager walks by as this is happening.)

Manager: “Sir, she is a cashier, not a babysitter. It is not her job to watch your child, it is yours. She was doing her job when you came up to scream at her. Now get out before I call the police.”

(The man looks embarrassed as he leads his son out. A minute later, he walks back in.)

Father: *mumbles* “I forgot my other son.”

Also seen on Not Always Right

The Lesser Of Teen Evils

, | USA | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters, Top

(A man and his two sons are checking out through my register. The younger of the two sons grabs a bag of Skittles from the candy selection.)

Son: “Dad, can I have some Skittles?”

Dad: “No. Teenage girls eat Skittles. And what are teenage girls?”

Both sons: *raising their little fists in the air* “EVIL!”

Also seen on Not Always Right

Gives New Meaning To Family Tree

| Pennsylvania, USA | Sons & Daughters

(I work as an educator in a native American village. I am with a group of pre-schoolers.)

Me: “Believe it or not, the Lenape used to tie their babies to a board and hang them in a tree so the foxes wouldn’t get them!”

Child 1: “Do they still do that?”

Me: “No, they live just like we do today and don’t need to.”

Child 2: “That’s not true. My mommy and daddy tie me to trees when they get mad.”

Also seen on Not Always Right